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# Say It Better

Become more quotable, connected, and collaborative

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## Posts

- [Moving From Me To We Blog](https://sayitbetter.com/moving-from-me-to-we/)
- [Ten Ways To Become More Frequently Quoted](https://sayitbetter.com/2021/12/ten-ways-to-become-more-frequently-quoted-2/) - Tell The Story That Tells The Story Dusk settled coolly over the misty emerald vineyards in Napa Valley one fall evening. Through the window, I gazed wistfully at a thin stream of bittersweet chocolate sauce a waiter was ladling high over a raspberry-colored cake a the table of a hand-holding couple, seated inside the big
- [Deliver Presentations That Make Audiences Care](https://sayitbetter.com/2021/10/deliver-presentations-that-make-audiences-care-2/) - In today's time-starved, relationship-diminished world, audiences: - crave attention and connection with each other whether they meet virtually or in person. And we continue to: - Want ready-to-use ideas - AND be entertained. These goals are often at odds when preparing a presentation that will make people rave about one's program long afterwards. Consequently, successful
- [Living proof of the benefits of practicing a mutuality mindest](https://sayitbetter.com/2021/10/living-proof-of-the-benefits-of-practicing-a-mutuality-mindest/) - Via University of Oregon Alumni Association: Kare Anderson graduated from the School of Journalism and Communication in 1971. The speaker and writer now lives in the Bay Area, where she runs the Say it Better Center, her vehicle for promoting mutuality and connectivity. “I believe in paths,” said Anderson. “The path I had, I was
- [Build a Community That Becomes the Go-to Place for Your Customers](https://sayitbetter.com/2021/09/build-a-community-that-becomes-the-go-to-place-for-your-customers/) - Contrary to that Groucho Marx line, “I wouldn’t join any club that would have me as a member,” smart companies are creating online “clubs” or communities where most anyone want to join and can. Take AARP, for example. Before hitting 50, practically everybody gets a mailed invitation. On their site you find considerable free information
- [17 Ways to Negotiate and Preserve Relationships](https://sayitbetter.com/2021/06/17-ways-to-negotiate-and-preserve-relationships/) - My early mentor, the legendary decision scientist and author of numerous books, Howard Raiffa once said, “It is often easier to deal with someone who is acting like a jerk who knows what he wants than a seemingly pleasant person who doesn’t.” 1. Anticipate What You Want Out Of A Situation Before You Go Into
- [Deliver Presentations That Make Audiences Care](https://sayitbetter.com/2021/06/deliver-presentations-that-make-audiences-care/) - In today's time-starved, relationship-diminished world, audiences: - crave attention and connection with each other when they meet virtually or in person. And we continue to: - Want ready-to-use ideas - AND be entertained. These goals are often at odds when preparing a presentation that will make people rave about one's program long afterwards. Consequently, successful
- [Complex Times Call for Connective Leaders](https://sayitbetter.com/2021/02/complex-times-call-for-connective-leaders/) - The higher the technology in our world, the higher the human touch needed. The most sought-after leaders today are, by nature, connective. They become the glue that holds diverse people together around strong sweet spots of shared interest where each person knows why they are involved and what they bring to the table. Looking back
- [Like to Play A Better Role in Your Storytelling?](https://sayitbetter.com/2021/01/like-to-play-a-better-role-in-your-storytelling/) - Are your most retold stories anchored by positively or negatively felt incidents? Those who are most resilient, energetic, caring, and involved with others tend to link their stories to redemptive themes. The role you most often play in the stories you tell reveals your view of the world, how friendly or hostile you are, and
- [6 Ways to Enjoy Your Life More](https://sayitbetter.com/2021/01/6-ways-to-enjoy-your-life-more/) - Some of our biggest inside battles involve changing habits to create a more meaningful, congenial life with others. Try six research-based tips for turning the page to the next chapter of the adventure story you are truly meant to live. "All of the significant battles are waged within the self," wrote Sheldon Kopp. Some of
- [Ten Ways To Become More Frequently Quoted](https://sayitbetter.com/2021/01/ten-ways-to-become-more-frequently-quoted/) - Tell The Story That Tells The Story Dusk settled coolly over the misty emerald vineyards in Napa Valley one fall evening. Through the window, I gazed wistfully at a thin stream of bittersweet chocolate sauce a waiter was ladling high over a raspberry-colored cake a the table of a hand-holding couple, seated inside the big
- [How You Can Stay Sought-After](https://sayitbetter.com/2021/01/how-you-can-stay-sought-after/) - There is widespread anxiety these days about technology taking away our jobs. There are several dire and comforting scenarios ahead points out Derek Thompson in a fascinating, in-depth article in The Atlantic: “A World Without Work.” Yet in his compelling book Humans Are Underrated, Geoff Colvin found that individuals with certain traits will always manage
- [Make Stronger Friendships, Wiser Choices, and More Opportunity by Visualizing Your Circles of Connection](https://sayitbetter.com/2021/01/make-stronger-friendships-wiser-choices-and-more-opportunity-by-visualizing-your-circles-of-connection/) - When meeting Natasha, photographer Rick Smolan never imagined she’d be an emotional thread of continuity for his life. Human stories take unexpected turns, especially beginning in 2021 next year. I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine. That’s a mighty welcome feeling as we enter 2009. Why? Because, more than any of the last 25
- [Handle Criticism With Grace And Honesty](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/11/andle-criticism-with-grace-and-honesty/) - Perhaps one of the most vulnerable of moments is when someone criticizes you-especially if you are a government professional who is supposed to serve the public and may face more criticism than many other professionals but fewer options for how to react. Further, you must respond to diverse interests and personalities, each with an agenda
- [Others’ Insults Can be Opportunities to Nobly Unify Others With You](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/11/others-insults-can-be-opportunities-to-nobly-unify-others-with-you/) - When I was a Wall Street Journal journalist, I was sent to cover a football game in Barcelona. Later during the game, as I sat in the stadium, I was startled to see and hear many spectators in the stadium yelling racist insults down at the renowned Brazilian footballer, the flying fullback Dani Alves. Capping
- [Five Ways To Spur Customers To Be Advocates](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/11/five-ways-to-spur-customers-to-be-advocates/) - Are your customers sufficiently excited about how you continue to help them that they rave about your firm? “Globally we spend about $500 billion on marketing and $9 billion on customer service,” wrote Forrester’s Laura Ramos, citing marketing and customer retention expert, Jay Baer. As an astute advocate for turning customers into advocates, she added,
- [Why It Helps You To Cheer Up Sooner Rather Than Later](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/11/why-it-helps-you-to-cheer-up-sooner-rather-than-later/) - Almost two-thirds of Americans are suffering from upsets in this volatile covid-19 time. Worse yet is the mood contagion effect. We instinctively spread and reinforce the fear we feel. It's our pack mentality. We quickly check the situation for danger. We don't listen to words. We don't believe "controlled" facial expressions. Our primal knowing cuts
- [How to Cultivate Strong Teams](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/11/how-to-cultivate-strong-teams-2/) - “We are not only ‘bowling alone,“ suggests Stanford professor, Jeffrey Pfeffer, “We are increasingly working alone.” Yet we still long for meaningful work and a sense of belonging – and individuals and organizations that support those very human desires are more likely to spur high performance and innovation. What’s the secret, then, to cultivating close-knit
- [Adopt a Proven Way to Live a More Meaningful Life](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/10/adopt-a-proven-way-to-live-a-more-meaningful-life/) - Want a more meaningful, productive and opportunity-attracting life? Become more uplifting, smarter and sought after by adopting a mutuality mindset. More than money, talent, or your number of contacts, your capacity to create mutuality with others can transform you into a sought-after Opportunity Maker that people want in their lives. Gain greater clarity about your
- [Five Insights for Connecting Rather Than Conflicting](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/09/five-insights-for-connecting-rather-than-conflicting/) - Some of the best insights come from those who have learned from first-hand experience, and distilled their wisdom by living by what they discerned, and writing and speaking about it in humble actionable ways. 1. Use Connective Body Language I spent most of my professional career recruiting foreign spies to work for the FBI. I
- [19 Ways to Attract More Customers Via Cross-Promotion](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/09/19-ways-to-attract-more-customers-via-cross-promotion/) - To stand out from their competition in a crowded advertising marketplace, all kinds and sizes of businesses, nonprofits, and government agencies are joining forces to reach their mutual market of "customers" more efficiently. Their cross-promotions include "bundled" offerings, cause marketing, co-branding, coop marketing, and shared space. Cross-promotion has the potential for a big marketing payoff
- [Your Secret Behind Why Things Catch On](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/09/your-secret-behind-why-things-catch-on/) - An anger-evoking true story that spread quickly, “Exec loses job after allegedly slapping toddler on plane,” quickly moved Dan Schawbel to write on Facebook, “The headline should read ‘Exec gets deported from America after being a complete ass on a plane.’" That response wouldn’t surprise Jonah Berger, author of Contagious, who discovered that “high arousal”
- [How to Live a More Purposeful Life](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/09/how-to-live-a-more-purposeful-life/) - Coming from a sheltered background, I wanted to explore a wider world of adventuresome, purposeful people. In this increasingly tech-enabled era, The Law of Unintended Consequences is increasingly becoming the norm, not the exception. Most new inventions can be used for good and bad things. Thus, our most noble calling may be our capacity to
- [Ways to Deepen Your Friendship](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/09/ways-to-deepen-your-friendship-2/) - When you feel affronted, pause before responding and recall this French proverb, Write injuries in sand, kindnesses in marble. Here’s one mighty helpful reason why: Whatever we praise, we encourage to flourish. Unfortunately there’s a damaging flip side. Whatever we criticize—or sometimes just frown at—will cause a quicker, more intense and longer reaction in most
- [How to Cultivate Strong Teams](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/09/how-to-cultivate-strong-teams/) - We are not only ‘bowling alone,“ suggests Stanford professor, Jeffrey Pfeffer, “We are increasingly working alone.” Yet we still long for meaningful work and a sense of belonging – and individuals and organizations that support those very human desires are more likely to spur high performance and innovation. What’s the secret, then, to cultivating close-knit
- [Ways to Deepen Your Friendship](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/09/ways-to-deepen-your-friendship/) - When you feel affronted, pause before responding and recall this French proverb, Write injuries in sand, kindnesses in marble.Here’s one mighty helpful reason why: Whatever we praise, we encourage to flourish. Unfortunately there’s a damaging flip side. Whatever we criticize—or sometimes just frown at—will cause a quicker, more intense and longer reaction in most people.
- [When We Visibly Do Something Together Others Are More Likely to Follow or Buy](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/08/when-we-visibly-do-something-together-others-are-more-likely-to-follow-or-buy/) - What Robert Cialdini dubbed “social proof” is a powerful way to attract involvement or another kind of support. When we think we’re out of step with our peers, “the part of our brain that registers pain shifts into overdrive,” according to Cialdini. Our herd instinct is strong. The effect of this is strongest in situations
- [7 Steps To Becoming And Staying Relevant](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/07/7-steps-to-becoming-and-staying-relevant/) - Apart from honing their top talent, guess what Atul Gawande and Richard Branson have in common? They have two vital and intertwined traits in this increasingly complex world where we are drowning in information. They’ve sharpened their ability to be quotable and to be deeply connected to notable people in worlds apart from the one
- [How We Hurt Relationships At Work And What We Can Do To BeFriend](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/05/how-we-hurt-relationships-at-work-and-what-we-can-do-to-befriend/) - When things go wrong, we tend to blind ourselves to other’s feelings. We are more likely to fall into a destructive behavioral trap. Sadly, when we do, we cannot be empathic. We weaken that human bond that’s vital to re-grouping and resilience. These blinding mindsets make us feel dumb, powerless … and alone. (Of course
- [Handle Criticism with Honesty and Grace](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/03/handle-criticism-with-honesty-and-grace/) - Perhaps one of the most vulnerable of moments is when someone criticizes you. If the person who criticizes you knows you well, and if she makes their comments in front of other people, she can cut deep. The scalpel of her comments can be surgically rapid and close to the bone, more damaging than the
- [Care For Employees In Ways That Spur Them to Care for You](https://sayitbetter.com/2020/03/care-of-employees-in-ways-that-spur-them-to-care-for-you/) - Joe Lee was sitting at a table, rapidly counting rain jackets in a small room somewhere above the sumptuous lobby of the Jamaican hotel where I was to speak at a global corporate conference the next morning. I did not know who he was then, although he looked familiar. I was just told that the
- [Talk With Others to Inspire Them to Participate](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/12/talk-with-others-to-inspire-them-to-participate/) - First Ask Rather Than Tell “Have you or a friend, or family member ever had an MRI or CT scan?” Asking that three-part question pulls listeners into relating that topic to their life. Sam Horn, author of Got Your Attention?, suggests that such questions are more likely to spark interest and engagement. Why? Because many
- [What Holiday Tradition Are You Co-Creating This Year?](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/12/what-holiday-tradition-are-you-co-creating-this-year/) - One memorable early December some startled neighbors who were out walking by our home when we were, asked why we were carrying a fully-decorated Christmas tree up our steep uphill street in Sausalito, towards our home. Upon hearing our story, Martin, Jim, Ingrid, Julia and Jacob, joined us, carefully picking up the tree ornaments that
- [Ways to Grow Your Organization Via Apt Cross-Promotions](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/12/ways-to-grow-your-organization-via-apt-cross-promotions/) - 14 Simple Ways to Jump-Start Your First Cross-Promotion Look for the most frequent patterns in your customers to find the most beneficial partners. Then consider which business offers the best quality of product or service like the one your kind of client might use. Propose a simple, low-risk first cross-promotion such as the ones suggested
- [Pay It Forward Better With a Five-Minute Favor](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/11/pay-it-forward-better-with-a-five-minute-favor/) - “No gesture is too small when done with gratitude,” wrote Oprah Winfrey. After a decade of research for his best selling book, Give and Take, Wharton professor of management, Adam Grant said this powerfully simple practice was his favorite idea. It won’t cost you anything but five-minute interactions that can be life-changing. Column co-author, Rifkin
- [How to Become More Like the People You Most Admire](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/10/how-to-become-more-like-the-people-you-most-admire/) - After being honored in a tribute at the Kennedy Center in 2013 the renowned musician, Carlos Santana, was interviewed by several eager reporters. He was often asked about the musicians he most admired, the turning points in his life and how it felt to be popular again. Yet, according to his wife, the question that
- [Kindness Can Opens Hearts and Unexpected Opportunities](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/10/kindness-can-opens-hearts-and-unexpected-opportunities-2/) - Kindness is often unspoken. “An eye can threaten like a loaded and leveled gun, or it can insult like hissing or kicking; or, in its altered mood, by beams of kindness, it can make the heart dance for joy,” wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson. At another time, Emerson wrote, “You cannot do a kindness too soon,
- [See Your Life Signals Sometimes Via Synchronicity](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/10/see-your-life-signals-sometimes-via-synchronicity/) - What are the coincidences that startle you? No one in Beatrice, Nebraska, will forget what happened just prior to church choir practice on March 1, 1950. All fifteen members of the choir were due at practice at 7:30 p.m. The minister, his wife, and their daughter were delayed when his wife decided to re-iron the
- [Unexpected 3 Ways to Connect To Live Well and Lead](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/10/unexpected-3-ways-to-connect-to-live-well-and-lead/) - Rather than letting more days rush by why not practice ways to become more deeply connected in each of your encounters with others? When Showing Competence Can Cut Us Off From Others Ironically, the more successful we are in proving our competence, the greater the distance we create with others. That’s because we see warmth
- [How to Optimize the Power of Your Praise](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/09/how-to-optimize-the-power-of-your-praise/) - "He's such a good, smart player and a clutch player,'' said S.F. Giants manager, Bruce Bochy, in describing Marco Scutaro after last night’s pennant-winning game in the soggy rain here in S.F. What part of that praise is most memorable? Like Scutaro’s nickname, Sparkplug, “clutch” is the most specific and thus the sticky part of
- [How “Disabled” Leaders Succeeded And You Can Too](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/09/how-disabled-leaders-succeeded-and-you-can-too/) - See exactly how to turn one of the steepest downsides you face in your life into an opportunity to serve an underserved market, like these remarkably “challenged” individuals are doing: 1. Craft a Vivid Visual Image of Your Core Mission Sabriye Tenberken wants to “kantharize the world.” Just like the wild chili plant in India,
- [5 Ways to Turn More Conversations Into Mutually Beneficial Opportunities](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/09/5-ways-to-make-more-conversations-into-mutually-beneficial-opportunities/) - 1. Triangle Talk to Get Closer Increasingly, within the U.S. more people are living and working alone. That may be why we are more likely to talk about ourselves more often in conversation, bouncing back to our own interests when responding to others. Instead, pull others closer by adopting the three-step Triangle Talk approach, in
- [See Others’ Insults as Opportunities to Unify Us Around You and a Noble Option](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/09/see-others-insults-as-opportunities-to-unify-us-around-you-and-a-noble-option/) - When I was a Wall Street Journal journalist, I was sent to cover a football game in Barcelona. Later during the game in the stadium I was startled to see many spectators in the stadium yelling racist insults down at the renowned Brazilian footballer, the flying fullback Dani Alves. Capping it off, an angry spectator
- [Improve Your Likability: Research-Based Tips](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/09/improve-your-likability-research-based-tips/) - Your attentive glance, warm nod and early smile. How much do such behaviors affect others? Enough to surprise researchers. When students in a study watch even brief (two, five or 10 second) glimpses of strangers expressing these positive actions on soundless video clips, the student were deeply influenced. "While students see just a flash of
- [6 Ways We Get Swayed or Sidetracked](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/09/6-ways-we-get-swayed-or-sidetracked/) - David Phillips was rushing up and down the supermarket aisles within seconds after seeing Healthy Choices “Early Bird Special.” He bought up all their 90-cent soups in the store. Then he raced over to a discount outlet to get all the brand’s 25-cent chocolate pudding cups. No time to pause. Phillips asked the store manager
- [How Your Humor Can Melt Tension, Befriend & Generate Fun](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/09/how-your-humor-can-melt-tension-befriend-generate-fun/) - If you make a bulls-eye out of someone weaker, particularly if you initiate the attack, you look like a bully. And rather than getting upset, consider yourself lucky when someone makes you a target first. Because, as Isaac Asimov observed, “For a humane person, the put-down is most satisfactory and most easily greeted with pleasurable
- [How to Have Closer Conversations](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/09/how-to-have-closer-conversations/) - “I swear, my dear. Sometimes our conversations remind me of a broken sword," she raised an eyebrow looking at him. "Sharp as hell," he said, "but lacking a point.” ~ Brandon Sanderson, Warbreaker Real Conversation Is Akin To Catching A Fish Until you find the lure and hook on which someone will bite, you won’t
- [How to Pull Others Closer to Feel Better Together](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/08/how-to-pull-others-closer-to-feel-better-together/) - These three true stories share a vital trait that you can adopt to boost your mood -- and your value and visibility with others -- as an individual and for your organization: 1. "Thief Apologizes And Returns Money To Nashville Market 11 Years Later" 2. "How Google Maps Led To the Rescue of A Los
- [Way to Have a More Adventuresome Life With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/08/way-to-have-a-more-adventuresome-life-with-others/) - Unexpected and sometimes enlightening things can happen when sharing a new experience with those who don’t act like you. I got unexpected insights when, with two friends when we walked through the Steins Collection of paintings by Matissse, Picasso and other avant-garde painters in bohemian Paris. In most every gallery room one friend would sit
- [4 Ways To Speed Shared Learning And Camaraderie](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/08/four-ways-to-speed-shared-learning-and-camaraderie-at-work-2/) - “Because I helped to wind the clock, I come to hear it strike," wrote William Butler Yeats. Hint: Become an Opportunity Maker who enables others to proudly use their best talents together on things that matter to them and you become the sought-after "glue" that creates and holds groups together.Below are four proven methods to
- [Create Smart Partnerships That Delight and Attract More Customers](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/07/create-smart-partnerships-that-delight-and-attract-more-customers/) - Today’s customer service has the potential to be nothing short of thrilling. By forging smart partnerships companies of all sizes can create unexpected benefits and transform customer service from an afterthought into a differentiating highlight. 1. Offer a Tantalizing “Extra” Who knows how many people chose to stay at the Ritz Carlton rather than at
- [Specific Ways You Can Create Greater Success With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/07/specific-ways-you-can-create-greater-success-with-others/) - “Bad collaboration is worse than no collaboration,” Collaboration author, Morten T. Hansen emphatically concluded, yet you already knew that. Involving others in smart ways has sparked greater success in these five proven ways: 1. Combine Methods or Models From Different Domains Richard Garfield, The Inventor of Magic: The Gathering made $40 million dollars. He combined,
- [Spur Others to Have Uplifting Moments They’ll Want to Share](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/07/spur-others-to-have-uplifting-moments-theyll-want-to-share/) - Was it the butterscotch-colored walls, light coconut scent wafting through the door as I opened it or the cushy island of deep blue carpet under my feet as I stepped into the boutique hotel? I don't know yet I instinctively sighed with relief. And that was before I saw the the smiling doorman walking towards
- [Pull In More Visibility, Apt Allies And Opportunities](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/07/pull-in-more-visibility-apt-allies-and-opportunities/) - Share The Story Others Want To Be In Peter Guber’s advice in Tell to Win shows how stories can build in bragging rights by creating purposeful narratives. Then you can pull others into your story because they can see a role they want to play in that purpose. In their re-telling of your story, they
- [Four Ways to Sway Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/06/four-ways-to-sway-others/) - Marshall wasn’t aware that we were closely watching him as he strode into the pool table showroom, but he was the ninth unwitting participant in our experiment. He glanced at the sign on the wall directly ahead of him as he entered the store: “Our Three Most Popular Models” the sign hung above a full
- [How To Keep Your Cool When Under Fire](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/06/how-to-keep-your-cool-when-under-fire/) - When you most want to smash someone in the face or run out of the room, remember this irony. Cooling off someone else’s anger can be a way to actually bring that person closer. Warning: Don’t add fuel to the fire by suggesting that they calm down. Hint: “The opposite of anger is not calmness,
- [When Customers Loved Waiting in Line](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/06/when-customers-loved-waiting-in-line/) - Probably the last thing the crowd waiting in line outside the movie theatre was expecting was the serious-faced high school drama students walking towards them with outstretched arms holding silver platters, and asking, “Would you want a Wonderbar?” then breaking out in smiles, and adding, “Just one sweet sample. There’s more inside.” Curiosity and anticipation
- [How to Use Humor To Defuse Tension, Befriend And Have More Fun](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/06/how-to-use-humor-to-defuse-tension-befriend-and-have-more-fun/) - Humor sometimes requires a target. If you make a bulls-eye out of someone weaker, particularly if you initiate the attack, you look like a bully. Take aim, instead, at the powerful. Or, rather than getting upset, consider yourself lucky when someone makes you a target first. Because, as Isaac Asimov observed, “For a humane person,
- [Mortified by My Mistake Yet I Ultimately Learned](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/06/mortified-by-my-mistake-yet-i-ultimately-learned/) - To this day I’m mortified when I see a box of chocolates. I was in the Antwerp airport, heading back to San Francisco. Before settling into a seat at my gate I bought two indulgences for the flight home, John le Carré’s Our Kind of Traitor and a box of Pierre Marcolini chocolate truffles, one
- [What Psychopaths & Monks Unexpectedly Share Plus the Value of Vulnerability](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/06/what-psychopaths-monks-unexpectedly-share-plus-the-value-of-vulnerability/) - Ironically, both psychopaths and Tibetan monks detect deep emotions that are invisible to others. Psychopaths are much better at recognizing "those telltale signs in the gait of traumatized assault victims," notes The Wisdom of Psychopaths author, Kevin Dutton. Tibetan monks, steeped in meditative practice, are also especially adept at reading feelings that are hidden from
- [Increase Your Impact by Getting Specific Sooner](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/06/increase-your-impact-by-getting-specific-sooner/) - The smaller the coffin, the heavier it is to carry,” Pakistani Defense Minister Khawaja Asif told CNN host Christiane Amanpour. Then he went on to describe a Taliban massacre where many children were killed. Asif didn’t try to evoke an emotion with grand generalizations. Instead he generated deep caring and curiosity via his specificity. You,
- [Five Ways Your Helpfulness Can Win Hearts and Sales](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/06/five-ways-your-helpfulness-can-win-hearts-and-sales/) - Taxi Mike, Geek Squad and Vanderbilt University Medical Center take the same successful approach to stand out from their competition and boost sales, and you can too. Like you, they realize that traditional selling is dead in our digital world. Potential buyers can quickly compare products, as Daniel Pink eloquently suggests in To Sell is
- [Discover How Spreading Joy Isn’t Just a First-Hand Experience](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/06/wonderfully-spreading-joy-isnt-just-a-first-hand-experience/) - The sweet scent of the narcissus plant wafts upstairs to me just like the lingering memory of my uphill neighbors, an always upbeat Irish couple in their early eighties. Stopping off on their daily walk, they knocked on my door early this morning to deliver the plant, their holiday gift, knowing I would be up
- [Ready To Identify Your Breakthrough Idea That Attracts Others?](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/06/ready-to-identify-your-breakthrough-idea-that-attracts-others/) - Feeling like you’re working harder yet not smarter over time? Feeling thwarted, scattered or under appreciated? You are not alone. Perhaps the biggest gateway into a more successful and meaningful work and life is this step: Distill your smarts and most passionate interests into a distinctive, much-needed method. That’s what Joe Calloway calls Becoming A
- [Who Packs Your “Parachute”?](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/06/who-packed-your-parachute/) - Charles Plumb was a U.S. Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent six years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now speaks on the lessons learned from that experience.
- [How to Strengthen Your Core Team & Create a Convivial Team of Teams](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/06/how-to-strengthen-your-core-team-create-a-convivial-team-of-teams/) - “We are not only ‘bowling alone,“ suggests Stanford professor, Jeffrey Pfeffer, “We are increasingly working alone.” Yet we still long for meaningful work and a sense of belonging – and individuals and organizations that support those very human desires are more likely to spur high performance and innovation. In our increasingly complex, yet connected and
- [How You Can Pull Others Closer and Feel Better Together](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/06/how-you-can-pull-others-closer-and-feel-better-together/) - These three true stories share a vital trait that you can adopt to boost your mood and your value and visibility with others — as an individual and for your organization: • Thief Apologizes And Returns Money To Nashville Market 11 Years Later, • How Google Maps Led To the Rescue of A Los Angles
- [Share The Story That Will Stick in Their Mind](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/05/share-the-story-that-will-stick-in-their-mind/) - Dusk settled coolly over the misty emerald vineyards in Napa Valley one fall evening. Through the window, I gazed wistfully at a thin stream of bittersweet chocolate sauce a waiter was ladling high over a raspberry-colored cake a the table of a hand-holding couple, seated inside the big stone restaurant operated by the Culinary Institute
- [Sayings for Making Life More Meaningful With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/05/sayings-for-making-life-more-meaningful-with-others/) - Here’s to living a greater life and accomplishing greater things together than we can on our own: “It is only through disruptions and confusion that we grow, jarred out of ourselves by the collision of someone else’s private world with our own. “ ~ Joyce Carol Oates “Everything that irritates us about others can lead
- [How a Coffee Event Attracts More People & You Can Too](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/05/how-a-coffee-event-attracts-more-people-you-can-too-2/) - Some of the most masterful baristas in the U.S. gathered in a hotel lobby in Minneapolis for their annual competition, judged by their peers. But this year was different. More excitement.And pressure. Coffee growers, café owners and other baristas and coffee lovers from around the world can watch them perform. In real time and later.
- [How You Can Become More Likable According to Research](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/05/how-you-can-become-more-likable-according-to-research/) - Your attentive glance, warm nod and early smile. How much do such behaviors affect others? Enough to surprise researchers. When students in a study watch even brief (two, five or 10 second) glimpses of strangers expressing these positive actions on soundless video clips, the student were deeply influenced. "While students see just a flash of
- [Catnip for Closer Conversations](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/05/catnip-for-closer-conversations-2/) - Real Conversation Is Akin To Catching A Fish Until you find the lure and hook on which someone will bite, you won’t pull them closer. You are talking to yourself. Soon they may show irritation or worse, or go on a mental vacation. Whether you’re attempting to get closer to your spouse, a prospect or
- [Come Back to Our Senses to Create More Memorable Conferences & Events](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/05/come-back-to-our-senses-to-create-more-memorable-conferences-events/) - What makes a conference truly stand out from others? It's not necessarily how much money was spent but how many positively memorable and meaningful moments the attendees recall. If you run a store, tourist attraction or other facility, some of the tips you read below may also help you enhance the experience you offer those
- [How to Turn More Situations Into Opportunities To Connect](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/04/how-to-turn-more-situations-into-opportunities-to-connect/) - Suppose a colleague gives you a compliment as you meet her in the hallway and then another person accidentally bumped you in passing. You will respond more quickly and strongly to being bumped than to being complimented, even if the person who knocked into you immediately apologizes. You have little power over those instinctual reactions.
- [Six Ways To Make Our Differences Help, Not Hinder Everyone In The Group](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/04/six-ways-to-make-our-differences-help-not-hinder-everyone-in-the-group-2/) - Perhaps your most valuable skills in our often tumultuous, fast-changing world are the capacity to recruit and/or strengthen apt teams of diverse individuals to innovate or capture certain kinds of opportunity or solve certain kinds of problems better and faster together. That’s being an Opportunity Maker, with and for others. Here are six methods that
- [Want to Become Like The People You Most Admire?](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/04/want-to-become-like-the-people-you-most-admire/) - After being honored in a tribute at the Kennedy Center in 2013 the renowned musician, Carlos Santana, was interviewed by several eager reporters. He was often asked about the musicians he most admired, the turning points in his life and how it felt to be popular again. Yet, according to his wife, the question that
- [How to Craft and Deliver an Attention-Grabbing Message](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/04/how-to-craft-and-deliver-an-attention-grabbing-message/) - You can feel the tension in the compressed smiles, quick nods and pointed questions at the annual Morgan Stanley Global Healthcare conference. Schedules are packed as the high-stakes finance crowd gathers to hear 20-minute rapid-fire talks by CEOs of start-ups and public companies who seek funding or favorable stock analysts’ reports. Presenters speak fast, using
- [How to Pull in Greater Friendships, Adventures & Learning](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/04/how-to-pull-in-greater-friendships-adventures-learning/) - Five men are walking across the Golden Gate Bridge on an outing organized by their wives who are college friends. The women moved ahead in animated conversation. One man describes the engineering involved in the bridge's long suspension. Another man points to the changing tide lines below. A third asked if they've heard of the
- [5 Thoughtful Ways to Grow Your Network](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/04/5-thoughtful-ways-to-grow-your-network/) - When it comes to networking, most people focus on the sexy part - meeting new people. But for true mutuality and interconnectedness, it is vital to stay in touch and keep your relationships alive and growing once you’ve made that initial connection. Someone who is renowned for being a helpful helper to those in her
- [Four Ways To Speed Shared Learning And Camaraderie At Work](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/04/four-ways-to-speed-shared-learning-and-camaraderie-at-work/) - “Because I helped to wind the clock, I come to hear it strike," wrote William Butler Yeats. Hint: Become an Opportunity Maker who enables others to proudly use their best talents together on things that matter to them and you become the sought-after "glue" that creates and holds groups together. Below are four proven methods
- [How Shared Experiences Are Spurring Spending, Loyalty And Learning](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/04/how-shared-experiences-are-spurring-spending-loyalty-and-learning/) - What did the New England Patriots ’“rabid” fans’ active sharing mid-game comments via immersive Wi-Fi have in common with Peabody hotels’ guests’ avid videoing and picture-snapping of the daily duck walk? Or parents standing in front a large store wall of bewildering choices in children’s car seats, looking down at their free Car Seat Helper
- [Ways We Destroy Relationships](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/04/ways-we-destroy-relationships/) - When things go wrong, we tend to blind ourselves to other’s feelings. We are more likely to fall into a destructive behavioral trap. Sadly, when we do, we cannot be empathic. We weaken that human bond that’s vital to re-grouping and resilience. These blinding mindsets make us feel dumb, powerless ... and alone. (Of course
- [Specificity Can Become Your Superpower](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/04/specificity-can-become-your-superpower/) - It strengthens your self-clarity, credibility and connectivity. It also increases the chances that people will understand and remember what you say. Self-Clarity: Getting clear about the main point you want to make enables you to then identify the best example that supports it. What sometimes looks like others’ resistance to your idea may simply be
- [Six Ways To Make Our Differences Help, Not Hinder Everyone In The Group](https://sayitbetter.com/2019/02/six-ways-to-make-our-differences-help-not-hinder-everyone-in-the-group/) - Want to become a sought-after, connective leader, the invaluable glue that holds groups together? Here are some methods that enable you to do so. 1. Experience The Freedom Of Agreed Upon Constraints To create a common ground on which we could get more done with less friction, we agreed on a few simple rules, including that
- [Proven Way to Make Most Any Bad Situation Better](https://sayitbetter.com/2018/11/proven-way-to-make-most-any-bad-situation-better/) - When told to tackle the widespread child malnutrition in Vietnam in 1990 as an employee of Save the Children, Jerry and Monique Sternin could easily have become overwhelmed. Plus the country’s foreign minister told them, “You have six months to make a difference.” Instead of looking at the macro problems such as polluted water, he
- [With Apt Partners Give People Holiday Experiences They Love to Share](https://sayitbetter.com/2018/11/with-apt-partners-give-people-holiday-experiences-they-love-to-share/) - One Christmas you could step inside the historic Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco and be swept into a sumptuous holiday scene that includes a towering Christmas tree and a two-story-high Victorian gingerbread house. Yet sadly, like most other businesses that want to delight and engage people at Christmas, they are missing some big opportunities. What
- [5 Ways to Have Greater Impact With And For Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2018/10/how-stoicism-can-help-you-now/) - Five Ways to Create Greater Success With Others Attract and serve unexpected allies with different talents and life and work experiences and you are more likely to gain insights that lead to your greater success - and theirs. Bad collaboration is worse than no collaboration,” Collaboration author, Morten T. Hansen emphatically concluded, yet you already
- [How Our First Instincts Can Hamper Our Capacity To Act Wisely And Innovate](https://sayitbetter.com/2018/07/how-our-first-instincts-can-hamper-our-capacity-to-act-wisely-and-innovate/) - While many of us have read about the ways we are wired to react rather than wisely choose how to act, it sometimes takes a practical book, offering actionable insights to enable us to see exactly how to actually think and act smarter, for ourselves and for those around us. The down-to-earth ways co-authors of
- [5 Explicit Ways to Be More Valued and Visible With and for Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2018/07/explicit-ways-to-be-more-valued-and-visible-with-and-for-others/) - Rather than asking for a favor how can you offer obvious ways that others can benefit by responding to what you specifically suggest? To prime the pump of your “us-oriented” approach to life, here are five,real-life examples of successful and satisfying ways that others have generated more value, visibility and support, with and for others:
- [One Way to Have a More Adventuresome Life With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2018/05/one-way-to-have-a-more-adventuresome-life-with-others/) - One benefit of convivial diversity is discovering different sides of a situation
- [When Making Us Feel Smart and Happy May Move Us to Buy](https://sayitbetter.com/2018/04/when-making-us-feel-smart-and-happy-may-move-us-to-buy/) - Discover specific ways to pull others into an experience that spurs them to buy and/or tell others about their experience
- [Ways to Forge a Bond With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2018/02/ways-to-forge-a-bond-with-others/) - Especially in your most poignant or happy moments connecting with others can go deeper and become meaningful, see how in this article
- [Turn Potential Conflicts Into Opportunities to Connect](https://sayitbetter.com/2018/04/turn-potential-conflicts-into-opportunities-to-connect/) - When I saw my dear friend, Daniel, walking down the hall toward me that morning I smiled and held up the book I’d gotten for him. When Daniel saw me he looked stricken. Then he quickly wheeled around and shot into the men’s room. Deeply hurt, I avoided him for several weeks until his sister
- [Why Waiters Cried While Serving Our Breakfast](https://sayitbetter.com/2018/04/why-waiters-cried-while-serving-our-breakfast/) - After the priest moved to a new parish he approached his superior to ask, "Would you mind if I smoked while praying?" and was, not surprisingly, turned down. If, instead he had said, "Would you mind if I pray while I am smoking?" he might have gotten a more positive response. Here's the unexpected way
- [Your Gut Instincts and Ability to Get Along, a Quiz](https://sayitbetter.com/2018/03/your-gut-instincts-and-ability-to-get-along-a-quiz/) - Why do we instinctively like some people and find others irritating or worse? What makes us agree, buy, help... or not? Do your gut instincts help or hinder your “LQ” – Likeability Quotient? From an expert on gut instincts, gain insights about how to say it better next time. Answer this quick nine-question quiz to
- [We Are All Literally Two-Faced](https://sayitbetter.com/2018/03/we-are-all-literally-two-faced-2/) - Understand your two sides of your character as expressed on the 2 sides of of your face
- [Say it So They Remember and Believe It](https://sayitbetter.com/2018/03/say-it-so-they-remember-and-believe-it/) - Know that whoever most vividly characterizes a situation, idea or person usually determines how others picture it, feel about it, discuss it, and decide on it
- [Laughing Together is Living Well](https://sayitbetter.com/2018/02/laughing-together-is-living-well/) - Discover specific ways to connect better with others via unifying humor
- [You Can Make Most Any Bad Situation Better](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/11/you-can-make-most-any-bad-situation-better/) - Proven way to solve problems faster and better and thus be sought-after
- [Four Traits for Becoming More Valued, Visible and Frequently Quoted Ally](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/11/four-traits-for-becoming-more-valued-visible-and-frequently-quoted-ally/) - As an employee, one of the best ways to grow your personal brand is to strengthen relationships with your organization’s key stakeholders and unexpected outside allies. Here are four methods to enable you to become a valued ally: 1. To prove you can actually be helpful to a customer or other key stakeholder to the
- [Six Ways to Make Smarter Decisions By Not Getting Sidetracked](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/11/six-ways-to-make-smarter-decisions-by-not-getting-sidetracked/) - Specific ways to make smarter decisions, as an individual and as a team
- [Sensory Cues That Spur Us to Like Your Public-Serving Place](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/11/sensory-cues-that-spur-us-to-like-your-public-serving-place/) - Optimize the sequence of multi-sensory "cues" guests experience at your place to spur them to like it and want to tell others
- [Six Ways to Cultivate a Sense of Mutuality With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/11/six-ways-to-cultivate-a-sense-of-mutuality-with-others/) - Specificity ways to turn diverse situations into opportunities for us to act greater together
- [Disagree?  Ways to Keep Talking Instead of Arguing](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/12/disagree-ways-to-keep-talking-instead-of-arguing/) - Practice specific ways to connect rather than conflict in conversations
- [Seven Traits to Emulate to Become a Sought-After Ally](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/10/seven-traits-to-emulate-to-become-a-sought-after-ally/) - Discover exactly how you can attract support of diver people & dilute conflict
- [Feeling Certain?  How Our Brains Betray Us](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/09/feeling-certain-how-our-brains-betray-us-2/) - How to make smarter decisions in our increasingly divisive world
- [See Insults as Opportunities to Unify Others Around a Noble Option](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/09/see-insults-as-opportunities-to-unify-others-around-a-noble-option/) - During a stadium match, several spectators yelled racist insults down at the renowned, Brazilian footballer, Barcelona’s flying fullback, Dani Alves. Capping it off, an angry spectator who had been yelling epithets threw a banana down in front of Alves as he was walking back onto the field to play again. Without a pause, Alves picked
- [Become A Greater Author Of Your Best Life Story](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/09/become-a-greater-author-of-your-best-life-story/) - By aptly connecting in mutually beneficial ways, you have the opportunity to use your best talents and resources better to get more done with less effort and more enjoyment. Further, you can stay relevant and sought-after by becoming a Category of One, as Joe Calloway suggests. As you optimize what you know with others, as
- [What Makes Us Laugh?](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/09/what-makes-us-laugh/) - Here are some quick, sometimes surprising clues. All Jokes Come Down to One of Four Themes Anywhere in the world, all jokes can be reduced to just one of these themes, according to professor Richard Wiseman, a British psychologist who, via his LaughLab, conducted mass-participation experiments about what we think is funny. (See * below)
- [Provide Unexpected Customer Service Via Apt Partnerships](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/09/provide-unexpected-customer-service-via-apt-partnerships/) - Gone are the days when customer service was a boring chore, a necessary evil, an unglamorous afterthought. Today’s customer service has the potential to be nothing short of thrilling. By forging smart partnerships, companies of all sizes can create unexpected benefits and transform customer service from an afterthought into a highlight. 1. Offer a Tantalizing
- [What Captures Our Attention Tends to Control Our Life](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/09/what-captures-their-attention-tends-to-control-their-life/) - Several years ago, Disney World executives were wondering what most captured the attention of toddlers and infants at their theme park and their main resort in Orlando, Florida. After all, if they imprinted positive memories in kids, they might embed a lifelong loyalty to their brand. Consequently they hired me and a cultural anthropologist to
- [See How Others Successfully Champion Their Ideas](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/08/see-how-others-successfully-champion-their-ideas/) - Want to successfully champion ideas and spur apt collective action with others at work and home? Read Originals by New York Times op-ed writer and popular Wharton psychology professor, Adam Grant to get the answers to these questions and take this 15-question quiz. Q. Assuming that parents decide to give children the freedom to be
- [What We Don’t Intend to Reveal Can be More Revealing](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/08/what-we-dont-intend-to-reveal-can-be-more-revealing/) - Like many photographers before him, Richard Zaltman was visiting remote areas of the world to capture images of people living lives far removed from those in the United States. Here's what made his experience different. One morning, while walking through an isolated village in Bhutan, he suddenly got the idea of turning his camera over
- [Reach Prospective Clients on Their Turf](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/08/reach-prospective-clients-on-their-turf/) - Optimize your visibility and value by co-serving prospects on their turf with complementary partners
- [Why And How To Cultivate Conviviality At Work](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/08/why-and-how-to-cultivate-conviviality-at-work/) - Why and how to boost meaningful connections at work
- [Unexpected Truths About Lying and Liars You May Want to Know](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/07/unexpected-truths-about-lying-and-liars-you-may-want-to-know/) - Observing the seemingly glorious times others are having, based on what they share online, tempts us to embellish our own tales. Further, until 2013, we could click on a Facebook advertisement to hire someone to lie for us – about our brilliant successes at past jobs or where we were last night, for example. Modern
- [What I Ultimately Learned From My Mortifying Mistake](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/07/what-i-ultimately-learned-from-my-mortifying-mistake/) - To this day I’m mortified when I see a box of chocolates. Perhaps sharing this story may save you from embarrassing yourself in a similar way. I was in the Antwerp airport, heading back to San Francisco. Before settling into a seat at my gate I bought two indulgences for the flight home, John LeCarre’s
- [Why and How to Look Out for Your Life’s Turning Point Stories](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/07/why-and-how-to-look-out-for-your-lifes-turning-point-stories/) - She’d been fidgeting for some while. Suddenly, she turned and started talking to me. For two hours we’d sat silently, side by side at the airport gate, waiting for our airplane to arrive. Leaning on the narrow metal armrest that divided our seats, she looked at me hesitantly yet determined. “Now I need to be
- [Six Specific Ways to Make Your Conference More Meaningful and Memorable](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/07/six-specific-ways-to-make-your-conference-more-meaningful-and-memorable/) - Here are six proven, low cost and high impact ways that meeting planners can generate more value and visibility for their attendees, speakers, and staff. In so doing they build more incentives for future support, sponsorship and attendance at the next conference. 1. After you hire a speaker, ask that presenter to submit three actionable
- [How to Not Act Like a Jerk When With Someone Who Is](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/07/how-to-not-act-like-a-jerk-when-with-someone-who-is/) - Turn conflict situations into opportunities to connect not clash more
- [Who Packed Your Parachute?](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/06/who-packs-your-parachute/) - Charles Plumb was a U.S. Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent six years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now speaks on the lessons learned from that experience.
- [Boost Your Visibility and Credibility Via Compelling Comparisons](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/05/boost-your-visibility-and-credibility-via-compelling-comparisons/) - Evoke the “Compared to What?” quotability cue – and you can too, to make your message more memorable and apt to be cited by others.
- [Make Your Praise More Memorable, Widely Shared and Long Lasting](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/05/make-your-praise-more-memorable-widely-shared-and-long-lasting/) - My client, the CFO of a Berlin-based maker of wireless portal equipment had a rugged yet very successful third year of operation where all employees voluntarily worked long hours. Part of the way he wanted to collectively celebrate the company’s success was to hand out ten awards for different kinds of contributions. Yet, in addition
- [Support Their Better Side So They Can See Yours](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/05/support-their-better-side-so-they-can-see-yours/) - While we instinctively seek to be likable when around others, what's more vital to connecting well is how they feel about themselves -- not us -- when together. Consequently it's well worth focusing on boosting others' sense of well-being when around us. "A two-year-old falls down unexpectedly. He isn't hurt but instinctively knows he wasn't
- [Get Their Attention and Keep it](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/05/get-their-attention-and-keep-it/) - You can feel the tension in the compressed smiles, quick nods and pointed questions at the annual Morgan Stanley Global Healthcare conference. Schedules are packed as the high-stakes finance crowd gathers to hear 20-minute rapid-fire talks by CEOs of start-ups and public companies who seek funding or favorable stock analysts’ reports. Presenters tend to speak
- [Want a Way to Get Out of Your Filter Bubble on Facebook?](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/04/want-a-way-to-get-out-of-your-filter-bubble-on-facebook/) - A recent research finding by Morning Consult that only 5% of adults seeing social media posts on Facebook from those with a much different world view is recent sign of how social media can reinforce our living in “filter bubbles” – meaning a tendency to surround ourselves with likeminded people and ideas. Way back in
- [Tips for Those Who Want to be Rooted in Love](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/04/tips-for-couples-who-want-to-be-rooted-in-love/) - • It is harder to argue when you are holding hands. • Showing appreciation and attention, especially when you least want to show those traits and the other person most needs them, will often bring you closer. • Look to the other person’s positive intent especially when it appears he or she has none. •
- [Make Your Daily Interactions More Satisfying For Yourself and With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/03/make-your-daily-interactions-more-satisfying-for-yourself-and-with-others/) - Suppose a colleague gives you a compliment as you meet her in the hallway and then another person accidentally bumped you in passing. You will respond more quickly and strongly to being bumped than to being complimented, even if the person who knocked into you immediately apologizes. You have little power over those instinctual reactions.
- [Actionable Insights About the Power of  Mutuality Mindset](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/02/actionable-insights-about-the-power-of-mutuality-mindset/) - Ready to live a more accomplished, adventuresome and meaningful life with others? Here are some actionable tips from Mutuality Matters that may move you to adopt that mindset: Adopt This Counterintuitive Way To Be Well-Liked One of the biggest misconceptions about connecting is seeking, first, to be liked. In fact, the counterintuitive way to get
- [Forge Smart Partnerships to Create Greater Customer Service](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/01/forge-smart-partnerships-to-create-greater-customer-service/) - Gone are the days when customer service is a boring chore, a necessary evil, an unglamorous afterthought. Today’s customer service has the potential to be nothing short of thrilling. By forging smart partnerships, companies of all sizes can create unexpected benefits and transform customer service from an afterthought into a highlight. 1. Offer a Tantalizing
- [Become Top of Mind and Attract Support by Offering the Most Compelling Option](https://sayitbetter.com/2017/01/become-top-of-mind-and-attract-support-by-offering-the-most-compelling-option/) - Do people stop listening before you stop talking? Being quotable is essential to attracting more appreciation, opportunities and friendships into your life. Without it you may be rich, smart, hardworking, and even attractive and good hearted yet you are likely to lose to the person who paints a more compelling picture. To offer the top-of-mind
- [Ready to Turn the Page to the Next Chapter of the Life You Want to Live Now?](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/12/ready-to-turn-the-page-to-the-next-chapter-of-the-life-you-want-to-live-now/) - Writing of her secret life as a prostitute, a blogger with the pseudonym Belle de Jour had a backstory worthy of a movie script. In fact it was turned into a Showtime TV series. She wanted to have a satisfying next chapter of her life story so she wrote about it. You see, in real
- [How Helpfulness Wins Hearts and Sales](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/11/how-helpfulness-wins-hearts-and-sales/) - Taxi Mike, Geek Squad and Vanderbilt University Medical Center take the same successful approach to stand out from their competition, and you can too. Like you, they realize that traditional selling is dead in our digital world. Potential buyers can quickly compare products, as Daniel Pink eloquently suggests in To Sell is Human. Yet, unlike
- [How Many Personalities Are Inside You?](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/10/how-many-personalities-are-inside-you-2/) - That irritating co-worker you’re stuck sitting by (again!) sees a decidedly different side of you than your best friend does. That’s because you have many people inside of you (no they’re not imaginary). That’s what veteran science writer, Rita Carter discovered as she began reading about bi-polar personalities for Mapping the Mind. Emerging research shows
- [Why Re-Define Your Life Towards a Mutuality Mindset?](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/08/why-re-define-your-life-towards-a-mutuality-mindset/) - Who Are You Becoming? After winning several music awards one year, Carlos Santana was asked by an eager young entertainment reporter, how he felt about “this belated recognition after so many years as a professional musician.” In an apparent non sequitur, Santana smiled warmly and replied, “I am becoming the people I love,” to which
- [How to Avoid Decision Making Traps We All Fall Into](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/08/how-to-avoid-decision-making-traps-we-all-fall-into/) - Discover the most common decisonmaking traps and specific ways to sidestep them
- [Fertilize Your Combinatorial Creativity by Connecting with Diverse Individuals](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/07/fertilize-your-combinatorial-creativity-by-connecting-with-diverse-individuals/) - If successful scientists “have often been people with wide interests,” as Cambridge University professor William Ian Beardmore Beveridge concluded in The Art of Scientific Investigation, then you, too, might make more breakthroughs by seeking more varied people and experiences. Innovation most often happens when you adapt an idea from one domain into a new one,
- [Make Your Characterization Stick Via a Compelling Comparison](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/07/make-your-characterization-stick-via-a-compelling-comparison/) - “Interestingness is the instigator, the hardy carrier pigeon that can carry your message most anywhere. Interestingness makes a message get heard above the noise. Money can't buy interestingness, yet vivid comparisons can create them. To make your label stick it must be more interesting than others' labels of course. More than money, title or even
- [How to Nudge Others to Act “Right”](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/10/how-to-nudge-others-to-act-right/) - Unconditional love is a swell idea yet admit it. Aren’t there times you’d like to change someone's behavior? Get them to act right, like you. Or perhaps you’d like to drop a bad habit. Then learn how to “nudge.” That’s a situational prompt that sways people to change. For example, the traditional approach to getting drivers to reduce
- [Why Become a Connective Leader in Our Complex World](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/07/why-become-a-connective-leaders-in-our-complex-world/) - “Diversity trumps ability” as a sufficiently diverse, large group of non-experts often outperforms a small group of experts,” found Future Perfect author Steven Johnson. In our increasingly complex, disruptive world, we will face more situations where we can benefit from calling on the so-called wisdom of the crowd. Thus it behooves us to have colleagues with very different
- [Pull Others Closer & Bring Out Their Better Side](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/07/pull-others-closer-bring-out-their-better-side/) - Discover over 10 ways to pull others closer & bring out their better side
- [See Fear as a Friend & Worry as Self-Harassment](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/06/see-fear-as-a-friend-worry-as-self-harassment/) - “Whenever you’ve felt profound fear, it was usually linked to the presence of danger, imminent pain or death, said security firm founder and author of the classic book, The Gift of Fear, Gavin DeBecker. In a National Public Radio interview he said, “When you feel fear, try to ‘link’ it back to a past situation where
- [Spur Smarter Mutual Support Sooner](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/05/spur-smarter-mutual-support-sooner/) - Research shows that Americans are most likely to trust and support someone who exhibits strong listening and inclusion skills. These traits matter even more than charisma. Those sought-after people - the major nodes on the invisible organizational chart that reflects the real centers of influence - are different than the leaders of just a decade
- [Honest Tea's Unexpected Social Experiment: 5 Ways You, Too, Can Attract an Audience and Customers](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/04/honest-teas-unexpected-social-experiment-5-ways-you-too-can-attract-an-audience-and-customers/) - As you’re walking down your city street you see an unmanned kiosk, stocked with bottles of tea. A sign invites you to “Take a bottle. Leave a dollar.” What would you do? Would you pay for one, and be curious enough to stay and watch what others do? Many did both. For ten days in August, one
- [Who Amongst Us Feels Powerful And How Can We Tell?](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/04/who-amongst-us-feels-powerful-and-how-can-we-tell/) - Are you perceived as powerful and how can you tell which other people feel they are?
- [Accomplish More by Being Frequently Quoted & Deeply Connected](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/04/accomplish-more-by-being-frequently-quoted-deeply-connected/) - Become more frequently quoted to attract more opportunity & friendships
- [Fun Way to Learn Faster Together](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/04/fun-way-to-learn-faster-together/) - As a kid I spent much of one summer, sitting on the curb in front of my home, watching Mike, the cute boy across the street, riding his bike on daring ramp jumps in his driveway. (My "surprise" bike wouldn't arrive until my birthday). Then Mike would speed out onto the street, closer to me,
- [What Rewards Most Matter to You?](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/04/what-rewards-most-matter-to-you/) - I heartily agree with Daniel Pink's timeless ABCs for persuasion, cited in his book To Sell is Human: Attunement, Buoyancy and Clarity: Attunement: Listen to understand the other person. Buoyancy: Be an “ambivert” – mid-way between an extrovert and an introvert, in your expression of optimism and resiliency. Clarity: Be a succinct apt curator of relevant
- [How To Be Liked and Respected](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/04/how-to-be-like-and-respected/) - Specific tips to stay sought-after by being liked and respected. Hint: adopt a mutuality mindset
- [Scale Your Capacity to Sway Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/04/scale-your-capacity-to-attract-others-2/) - Ways to sway others to buy, support or join your cause or organization
- [10 Ways Citizens Can Make Their Cities Even Better](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/03/6-ways-citizens-can-make-their-town-even-better/) - While many of us are dispirited by the long running, warped reality show called the American presidential election, there are bright spots of innovative, good governance in many towns that can give us, as citizens, great hope. Here are nine success stories that brightened my day, and that your city might want to adapt and adopt:
- [Your Surest Path to Greater Friendships and Success](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/03/your-surest-path-to-greater-friendships-and-success/) - I got this strange idea in eighth grade, nudged by my concerned father. To run for student body president is not a surprising decision for most outgoing, popular people. But I was neither. In fact I tended to daydream, read books that were not on the required list, and sit in the table at the
- [The Kind of Humor That Enables Us to Live Well With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/03/the-kind-of-humor-that-enables-us-to-live-well-with-others/) - Use unifying humor, not the two other kinds, to attract more support, friendship and opportunity
- [The Upside Of Trump-Evoked Name-Calling](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/03/the-upside-of-trump-evoked-name-calling/) - After Trump called Marco Rubio a "low life," "nasty guy" and "choke artist," Rubio sunk lower. Citing Trump, he said, "You know what they say about men with small hands." And Trump called Cruz "a little baby: soft, weak, little baby." Unfortunately negative and bad name-calling and labels are more contagiously shared than positive ones,
- [How to Go Fishing for Closer Conversations](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/03/3906/) - Turn more interactions into opportunities to connect to cultivate meaningful, mutually beneficial relationships
- [What is Not Revealed is Sometimes Most Revealing](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/03/what-is-not-revealed-is-sometimes-most-revealing/) - Like many photographers before him, Gerald Zaltman was visiting remote areas of the world to capture images of people living lives far removed from those in the United States. Here's what made his experience different. One morning, while walking through an isolated village in Nepal, he suddenly got the idea of turning his camera over
- [How to Choose How You Want to Feel](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/03/how-to-choose-how-you-want-to-feel/) - Breandan and Emma, a couple up the hill from me in Sausalito, have been married 54 years, they proudly told me last year. They walked, hand in hand, past my home each morning, usually laughing, smiling and pointing out new flower blossoms and other things along the way. Originally from Ireland, they listened, in bed, to
- [Offer Loyalty Cards in the Way That Lures Customers Back More Often](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/03/offer-loyalty-cards-in-the-way-thats-most-likely-to-lure-customers-back-more-often/) - You have probably been offered a loyalty card at some drugstore, car wash, coffee shop or other outlet you frequently use. When designed right, they can become one of your lowest-cost ways to lure customers back . Plus such cards can boost loyalty, bragging rights and profits. Here’s how. Now we’re talking about the kind of loyalty
- [How Our Gestures Can Connect or Repel](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/02/how-our-gestures-can-connect-or-repel/) - Gesture and move to connect better with diverse people
- [Brevity and Specificity Breed Quotability](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/be-remembered-be-brief/) - • “Bank fees are like financial wedgies.” • "One of the founding fathers of rock and roll has left the building he helped construct." • "Eat food, not too much, mostly vegetables.” These colorful one-liners are easy to remember because we immediately get a mental picture from the physical world. Here’s hints for honing your quotability,
- [What's The Lesson in The Story You Tell?](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/02/whats-the-lesson-in-the-story-you-tell-2/) - She’d been fidgeting for some while. Suddenly, she turned and started talking to me. For two hours we’d sat silently, side-by-side at the airport gate, waiting for our small commuter airplane. Leaning on the narrow metal armrest that divided our hard seats, she looked hesitant yet determined. “Now I need to be brave for my
- [Speed Your Company’s Social Transformation From the Inside Out](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/01/speed-your-companys-social-transformation-from-the-inside-out/) - Optimize your organization’s resources by capturing “the wisdom of the crowd” inside and out, and supporting employees in becoming avid, connective ambassadors of your brand, using their best talents together. Discover how early “social” adopter companies are creating stand out value via this approach -- TELUS, IBM, BASF and 3M -- so you can adapt their holistic approach to your company’s goals and maximize talent in the new New Normal, disruptive yet connected world.
- [Make Your Work With Others More Productive, Pleasurable and Meaningful](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/02/make-your-work-with-others-more-productive-pleasurable-and-meaningful/) - Clarify Your Values To Live Them More Fully - With Others Getting very specific about what most matters to you enables you to act more consistently, in keeping with your core values. That congruence can boost others’ trust in you according Shawn Murphy, co-founder of Switch and Shift. To identify your values take the quiz
- [How Your Words Reveal Your Self-Image, World View and More](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/02/how-your-words-reveal-your-self-image-world-view-and-more/) - From our truthfulness to our acts of dominance or our mood we are enormously revealing to others – if they know how to recognize the content and style of our words. That’s what The Secret Life of Pronouns author and University of Texas psychologist James W. Pennebaker discovered and described in his TEDx talk. Who’s the most important person
- [See Kindness As Your Inoculation Against Anger](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/01/kindness-as-your-inoculation-against-anger/) - Whatever behavior we praise we encourage to flourish in others – especially when they are around us. Whatever we criticize or "simply" snub goes deeper into their consciousness however. Hint: Speak to their positive intent, especially when it appears they may have none. That may be the best way to bring out their better side so
- [Attract More Customers While Spending Less Via Smart Partnerships](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/01/attract-more-customers-while-spending-less-via-smart-partnerships/) - Even as many Floridians were fleeing their homes, years ago, to avoid Hurricane Frances, some of their "neighbors" in Florida and Georgia had a small way to support them, just as they did after Hurricane Charley and tropical storm Bonnie hit. When people visited a Winn-Dixie grocery store they could help towards storm relief by
- [Save Yourself Considerable Grief: Know Your Hot Buttons](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/01/save-yourself-considerable-grief-know-your-hot-buttons/) - Partners -- romantic and otherwise -- tend to fight when one feels neglected or threatened. When Peter Bregman's wife yelled from two rooms away, "at least pack the shampoo" she was feeling neglected. See how Bregman turned a potentially hostile situation around. Recognizing which underlying feeling is being evoked helps you know how to resolve the
- [12 Ways We Damage Our Relationships](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/01/12-ways-we-damage-our-relationships/) - When things go wrong, we tend to blind ourselves to other's feelings. We are more likely to fall into a destructive behavioral trap. Sadly, when we do, we cannot be empathic. We weaken that human bond that's vital to re-grouping and resilience. These blinding mindsets make us feel dumb, powerless ... and alone. (Of course
- [Four Ways to Make That Human Connection We All Want](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/01/four-ways-to-make-that-human-connection-we-all-want/) - Sometimes I self-sabotage in talking with others, especially those I do not know them well, then feel badly afterwards. As Mindwise author Nicholas Epley shows, we overestimate how well we understand how others see us and what they are thinking, yet here are four ways to increase the chances that we can connect better with
- [Your Surest Path to Greater Success and Friendship](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/01/your-surest-path-to-greater-success-and-friendship/) - I got this strange idea in eighth grade. To run for student body president is not a surprising decision for most outgoing, popular students. But I was neither. In fact I tended to daydream, read books that were not on the required list, and sit in the table at the far corner of the cafeteria
- [Taking Photos in Front of Your Business Earns Them Bragging Rights](https://sayitbetter.com/2016/01/taking-photos-in-front-of-your-business-earns-them-bragging-rights/) - Spurring passersby to take photos or videos in front of your business can pull them through the door and pull columnists to cover "our" story. "The city is our canvas," GreenGraffiti owner, Jim Bowes told The New York Times. Bowes said, "We can tell a story over the course of two blocks if we want
- [Create Healthy Connections With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/12/create-healthy-connections-with-others/) - 1. Triangle Talk to Get Closer Increasingly, within the U.S. more people are living and working alone. That may be why we are more likely to talk about ourselves more often in conversation, bouncing back to our own interests when responding to others. Instead, pull others closer by adopting the three-step Triangle Talk approach, in
- [Discover How to Live a More Purposeful Life with Others?](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/10/ready-to-live-a-more-purposeful-life-with-others/) - Discover how to have greater impact and opportunities by becoming an Opportunity Maker with and for others.
- [Ready to Live a More Meaningful Life with Others?](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/10/ready-to-live-a-more-meaningful-life-with-others/) - Stay relevant sought-after by cultivating complementary allies around sweet spots of mutual interest, using best talents together for greater impact & meaning
- [Stay Sought-After and Satisfied By Adopting A Mutuality Mindset](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/10/stay-sought-after-and-satisfied-by-adopting-a-mutuality-mindset/) - Discover exactly how to stay sought-after by becoming an Opportunity Maker with and for others, thus able to lead a meaningful, adventuresome life.
- [Attract More Customers While Spending Less Via Apt Partnerships](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/09/attract-more-customers-while-spending-less-via-apt-partnerships/) - Here's three real-life, partner-based success stories to show you how to attract more customers while spending less on promotion via apt partnerships that benefit all parties. When you've read these examples consider how you can adapt these approaches to your kind of business. Goal: Spur more prospective customers to discover your firm via vendors they
- [Create a "Hook" on Which Others Can Visibly Hang Their Ideas](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/09/create-a-hook-on-which-others-can-visibly-hang-their-ideas/) - Do less better, offer a hook on which others want to hang their ideas, install bragging rights in others by sharing a story in which they want to participate.
- [Kindness Can Opens Hearts and Unexpected Opportunities](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/12/kindness-can-opens-hearts-and-unexpected-opportunities/) - Holidays are times of great loving and loneliness and we often don’t know who is experiencing which. For many it is a bit of both. For us all this can be a prime time for kindness, sometimes by sharing what we have. And kindness is often unspoken. “An eye can threaten like a loaded and leveled
- [Want To Pull Your Life Together?](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/09/want-to-pull-your-life-together/) - To live a more congruent, satisfying and accomplished life with others consider what these three stories have in common: 1. “Train hard, laugh harder” could have been the motto of the U.S. national soccer team when two-time Olympic gold medal winner, Julie Foudy, was captain, “the team’s comic relief and its social conscience” according to a
- [Will You be Asked to Join the Team?](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/09/will-you-be-asked-to-join-the-team/) - It’s only human to want others to see our good side especially when we want to belong to their group. Unfortunately the flip side of that attractive quality (our “bad” side) is what most sticks in others’ minds – once they see it. That’s a side effect of the Fight or Flight syndrome. We are
- [Share In Ways That Make Us Proud To Participate](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/09/share-in-ways-that-make-us-proud-to-participate/) - Why, exactly, did the famous #ALSIceBucketChallenge raise over $100 million within a couple of months? And what spurred people to support the challenge by creating more than 17 million videos that were viewed more than 10 billion times on Facebook alone? That contagious stunt, according to Shareology author, Bryan Kramer, involved a four-step formula for “making something crowdworthy.”
- [Stabilize Your Life With Others Via a Strong Conscience](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/08/who-to-be-what-you-want-others-to-be/) - At the end of last year, Pope Francis suggested it was an apt time to examine our conscience -- yet it behooves us to do that more often. That’s not always easy but always vital as Todd Essig suggests, citing Peter Seeger and Martin Luther King. Acting with integrity “causes good things to find their way
- [Four Tips For Creating a Credible, Quotable Comparison](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/07/four-tips-for-creating-a-credible-quotable-comparison/) - 1. Compare your message to something or someone familiar Examples: A Cuban, after apologizing because he could not offer his guests anything to eat, described the results of Castro’s Revolution: “The three successes were education, healthcare and sports. Three failures were breakfast, lunch and dinner.” “I call architecture frozen music.” ~ Johann Wolfgag von Goethe 2.
- [Articulating Their Specific Talent Can Help Them Strengthen It](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/07/articulating-their-specific-talent-can-help-them-strengthen-it/) - When I was a Wall Street Journal reporter, my bureau chief bluntly told me one day that I took too long when interviewing some individuals -- and sometimes that was a good thing. I got insights about the interviewees’ views on other topics. He told me that, when I finished writing the story I was assigned, I
- [Proven Ways We Happily Accomplish More With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/07/proven-ways-we-happily-accomplish-more-with-others/) - Don’t Inadvertently Support Others in Becoming Seasoned Takers Help others to become more helpful for each other -- thus building collective self-esteem and opportunity. I’m sure that you’ve feel that heady, immediate, hedonic high when someone sought your advice, used it and experienced a turnaround, breakthrough or other benefit. Yet your well-intentioned giving can have
- [Take the Bright Way to Make a Bad Situation Better](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/07/take-the-bright-way-to-make-a-bad-situation-better/) - improve any situation or idea faster and better via positive deviance approach
- [Visually Imprint Your Idea On Us So We Don’t Forget](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/07/visually-imprint-your-idea-on-us-so-we-dont-forget/) - To instantly imprint your key concept on others’ minds, create a visual representation of it, recommends Denise Brosseau, in Ready to Be a Thought Leader? For greater impact, alter an already famous visual framework to display your core idea. Here’s two examples of how others used visuals to make their core message more meaningful and
- [Five Ways To Grow Your Network](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/07/five-ways-to-grow-your-network/) - When it comes to networking, most people focus on the sexy part – meeting new people - yet it is apt follow-up that boosts credibility and connection. Demonstrate a mutuality mindset by demonstrating that you are not a taker but committed to the ebb and flow of mutual support over time. Thus beneficial networking is not merely about
- [How Do You Want To Face Your Life Now?](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/07/how-do-you-want-to-face-your-life-now/) - From a former Navy Seal & Rhodes Scholar recognize how to live fully through from how you handle hard times -- and thus become a source of strength for others.
- [Why Waiters Cried Serving Breakfast at the Conference](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/06/why-waiters-cried-serving-breakfast-at-the-conference/) - Make more meaningful celebratory events together to spur accomplishment, belonging and more mutual support.
- [One Kind of Story They’ll Remember and Repeat](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/05/one-kind-of-story-theyll-remember-and-repeat/) - Discover one trait to certain kinds of tales that are frequently retold so you can seek ways to shape your story in a similar way.
- [What’s Top of Mind Tips Your Life](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/05/whats-top-of-mind-tips-your-life/) - What most grabs your attention controls your life. Attract opportunity by connecting better with more kinds of people, by recognizing your attention patterns
- [6 Ways to Enjoy Your Life More, Starting Now](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/03/6-ways-to-enjoy-your-life-more-starting-now/) - "All of the significant battles are waged within the self," wrote Sheldon Kopp. Some of our biggest inside battles involve changing habits to create a more meaningful, congenial life with others. Instead we instinctively, unhappily focus our self-talk in two things: those who seem much happier and more successful and our past failures, betrayals and regrets. Try these powerful simple research-based tips for turning the page to the chapter of the adventure story you are truly meant to live now. 1. "Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use," Charles M. Schulz once wrote. Gretchen Rubin told Anne Kreamer that when clerking for then Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, "I realized that I would rather fail as a writer than succeed as a lawyer." Rubin turned her hobby into her job, writing The Happiness Project, on the New York Times best-seller list for years....
- [Profitable Customer-Attracting Partnerships](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/01/profitable-customer-attracting-partnerships/) - What happens when pediatricians join forces with pizza store managers, school principals, city health clinic directors, and others to better reach and serve their common base of customers: families with young children? Together, they did what they could not have accomplished on their own. They offered a highly valued, emotionally-loaded, and media-attracting service AND increased
- [Speak English Like it Tastes Good](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/02/speak-english-like-it-tastes-good/) - Dusk settled coolly over the vineyards in Napa Valley, California, one fall evening. Through the window, I gazed wistfully at a thin stream of bittersweet chocolate sauce a waiter was ladling high over a raspberry-colored cake at the table of a hand holding couple, inside the big stone restaurant operated by the Culinary Institute of
- [Bring Out the Best in Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/02/bring-out-the-best-in-others/) - Have you noticed that when someone is acting like a jerk, you are likely to point out that behavior to her by your words or tone of voice? And then she goes out of her way to prove it to you some more? Why? Because our biggest gut instinct is for survival. That primitive, instinctual
- [How Exhibitors Can Move Attendees Closer to Buying](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/02/how-exhibitors-can-move-attendees-closer-to-buying/) - If you are reading this article, you are probably one of the exhibitors who are facing this situation. Read on and you'll find some ways to overcome the inadvertent barriers put in the way of your sales success. First, consider these points: 1. Are exhibiting companies giving their prospects what they most need to know to
- [Come Back to Our Senses: How to Create More Meaningful and Memorable Meetings](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/02/come-back-to-our-senses-how-to-create-more-meaningful-and-memorable-meetings/) - What makes a meeting truly stand out from others? It's not necessarily how much money was spent but how many positively memorable moments the attendee recalls. Many conferences involve a theme, reinforced through a logo, theme, events, and speakers to create an overall "feel" and value throughout the convention. Why not further reinforce your meeting
- [Collaborate to Stay Relevant](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/02/collaborate-to-stay-relevant/) - To stay relevant and sought-after in this increasingly complex yet connected world, strengthen two intertwined traits that will also enable you to lead a more adventuresome, meaningful life with others. First, continuously hone your greatest talent. Second, seek out others with complementary talents and a “sweet spot” of shared interests, then adopt a collaboration method
- [Can I See Who Was at That Party?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/09/can-i-see-who-was-at-that-party/) - That question sparked the start of an image-based, international social network that millions use yet, unlike Facebook, few people know about. The peculiarly-named name PerfSpot started by co-hosting small events with photographers who took pictures of the partygoers. Attendees get cards at the gatherings, inviting them to visit the site. There they can see photos
- [How We Sometimes Fool Ourselves When Making Decisions](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/04/how-we-sometimes-fool-ourselves-when-making-decisions/) - Remember a decision you made that cost you dearly? In retrospect, you realize a different choice would have saved time, aggravation and perhaps a relationship. What if you found that your mind played tricks on you? Perhaps you were relying on your "gut instincts" but were fooled by the unconscious decision-making traps we fall into when trying to figure
- [Flourish In 2014 By Discovering The Thread That Ties Your Story Together](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/12/3186/) - Better than trying a new year’s resolution again, why not create a flourishing life with others by taking Pamela Slim’s eight-step approach to growing your greatest body of work and thus stay relevant, sought-after by your growing capacity to contribute, attract apt allies and opportunities, and love the life you are leading?
- [Who You Are Around Affects Who You “Are”](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/12/who-you-are-around-affects-who-you-are-2/) - To turn the page to the adventure story you want to live in 2015 and beyond focus on this as you go through your next few days: Notice the common traits of the situations in which you most thrive and with whom you shine. Only then can seek out more of those kinds of situation and individuals, in friendship and in love. Hint: Where does your best side come out and when are you able to use your best talents? Next, recognize that the opposite of love or fondness isn’t hate but disinterest. Emotions Revealed author, Paul Ekman takes that finding a bit further. In his research (described in Blink), Ekman discovered that when one person in a relationship of any kind expresses disgust for another the relationship is doomed. In fact, the higher the ratio of disgust vs. any kind of positive response one has to another in an interaction, the more rapidly the demise of that connection.
- [Ten Ways Opportunity Makers Jumpstart Successful Self-Organized Teams](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/11/ten-ways-opportunity-makers-jumpstart-successful-self-organized-teams/) - From companies to clubs to causes, groups most likely to succeed, today, need to keep top talent engaged by encouraging the nimble formation of self-organized teams to tackle opportunities and problems faster and better together. Those who can actually recruit the right team and be the glue that holds them together must have the reputation for being mutuality minded.
- [Which Wolf Will You Feed?](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/01/which-wolf-will-you-feed/) - We all have two wolves inside us a Cherokee lesson suggests, one tugs at us to do evil and the other to act good. What will we do? It depends on which wolf we feed. The one you feed is the one that grows stronger. That’s not always easy but always vital as Todd Essig suggests, citing Peter Seeger and Martin Luther King. Acting with integrity “causes good things to find their way back to you, but it takes effort,” writes Frank Sonnenberg. Conversely, people who act untrustworthy, “hurt themselves every day” by losing the trust of colleagues, customers, friends and loved ones – but we already know that at least intellectually. What Sonnenburg provides in his book, Follow Your Conscience, are pithy points about 24 aspects of good character, suggesting exactly how adopting them enables us to enjoy a more meaningful, satisfying and successful life with others. Sidestep the Slippery Slope Of Dishonesty In our increasingly connected world our bad and good actions are more likely to become more well-known yet, even if they aren’t, must live with what we have done. And, as the author of The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty, Dan Ariely points out, stealing money out of a cash register can prick our conscience more than hacking into an online account. The lesson: We have more ways to slide down the slippery slope of deceit in a digital world and rationalize our actions so it behooves us to make a good conscience a top-of-mind priority
- [Stay Sought-After: Be the Glue That Holds Groups Together](https://sayitbetter.com/2015/02/stay-sought-after-be-the-glue-that-holds-groups-together/) - Discover exactly how to unite the right team to seize an opportunity or solve a problem and yoll become a sought-after Opportunity Maker. Here's how: Are more of your most retold stories anchored by positively or negatively felt incidents? Those who are most resilient, energetic, caring and involved with others tend to link their stories to redemptive themes. The role you most often play in the stories you tell reveals your view of the world, how friendly or hostile, and more.
- [What Role Do You Want to Play in Our Fast-Changing World?](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/11/what-role-do-you-want-to-play-in-this-fast-changing-world/) - The Law of Unintended Consequences is increasingly becoming the norm. From drugs to drones to data collection, things that are initially invented for beneficial purposes can be quickly turned to evil uses, often creating massive profits and destruction. Our increasingly complex yet connected world is calling out for us to have a collective mindset. Why? Because bad and good can hit faster, farther, and from more places, initiated by more kinds of people more often as the cost of technology drops. These inevitable trends, that tempt us in many directions, can also be seen as our call to a higher purpose. I believe it calls on us to become Opportunity Makers with and for each other, beginning by adopting a beneficial mutuality mindset.
- [Cultivate Those Who Don't Act Right -- Like You](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/10/cultivate-those-who-dont-act-right-like-you/) - We also are drawn to people who seem to act right – like us. We instinctively project onto them other traits we admire, even when they do not have them. In so doing, we narrow our view on what’s the right way to do things, missing many opportunities and friendships. To accomplish more and lead a satisfying life with others, adopt a mutuality mindset and cultivate those with complementary talents.
- [See Serendipity As A Way to Stay Relevant](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/10/see-serendipity-as-a-way-to-stay-relevant/) - Staying open to serendipitous introductions increases the chances you’ll cultivate a flexible mindset, recognizing more sides to a situation and discover more breakthroughs in your areas of strongest interest. Plus you’ll open more doors to unexpected happenings in the adventure story you are truly meant to live, with others.
- [Opportunity Makers Have Mutuality Mindsets](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/09/opportunity-makers-have-mutuality-mindsets/) - Reimagine the world as a better place, spurred by ideas shared at TED@IBM including mine, perhaps: "The Web of Humanity: Becoming an Opportunity Maker." Hint: a mutuality mindset probably matters more than your smarts, money, title or contacts in this increasingly complex yet connected world.
- [What Actually Makes You Seem Likeable?](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/09/what-actually-makes-you-seem-likeable/) - To be respected and popular, discover and practice the universally expressed behavioral traits that exhibit warmth, empathy and a mutuality mindset
- [Deepen Your Friendships](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/08/deepen-our-friendships/) - Take two steps to strengthen a friendship in ways that spur you both to provide smarter mutual support and apt help in honing the best sides in each other.
- [How to Have More Happiness Moments](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/07/how-to-have-more-happiness-moments/) - A key to enduring happiness and satisfaction is to recognize the reality one projects onto life situations, and consider altering how you approach them Get insights into exactly how from Shawn Achor, Barbara Frederickson, The Downtown Project and elsewhere.
- [Can You Keep Your Cool When Under Fire?](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/06/can-you-keep-your-cool-when-under-fire/) - When you most want to smash someone in the face or run out of the room, remember this ironic opportunity. Cooling off someone else’s anger can be a way to actually bring that person closer. Warning: Don’t add fuel to the fire by suggesting that they calm down. Hint: “the opposite of anger is not
- [How Can We Be So Wrong About What Others Are Thinking?](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/06/how-can-we-be-so-wrong-about-what-others-are-thinking/) - Who’s more preoccupied by sex really? And why did some retired military officers get it wrong about how soldiers felt about repealing “don’t ask, don’t tell?” And why can big-eyed robots make us act more generously? Mistaken mind reading, as I learned in Nicholas Epley’s fascinating book, Mindwise.
- [How Power Connectors Become More Highly Valued](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/05/how-power-connectors-become-more-highly-valued/) - Cultivate genuine, enduring relationships to lead a satisfying, accomplished life with others. See Judy Robinett’s concrete approach that she’s used to succeed. Read her new book, How to be a Power Connector
- [Is That The Story You Want To Keep Telling Others?](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/04/is-that-the-story-you-want-to-keep-telling-others/) - Ready to play the character role in the adventure story you are truly meant to live? Here are some hints on how to jumpstart that change.
- [Why Do We Laugh?](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/03/why-do-we-laugh/) - Ready to crack the surprising Humor Code for one of the main reasons we laugh? From stand-up comedy to laughing (the right way) after a tragic event, see what a scientist and a journalist discovered after taking their search around the world.
- [Nudge Others To Share Even If You Aren’t DeGeneres](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/03/nudge-others-to-share-even-if-you-arent-degeneres/) - Even if you aren’t a likeable, well-financed celebrity like Ellen DeGeneres, you can get your actions, ideas and products shared and keep your key people engaged in these three ways. Hint: a mutuality mindset boosts sharing
- [Clever Ways Organizations Partner For Greater Good](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/02/clever-ways-organizations-are-partnering-for-the-greater-good/) - Emulate clever methods are already successfully adopting to scale for the greater good, including The Indian Impact, Not For Sale and Crowd Companies. In this sharing, collaborative economy, many of the most efficient groups usually create mutually-beneficial partnerships that leverage their capacity to serve.
- [The Gift Of Fear. The Penalties Of Worry.](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/02/the-gift-of-fear-the-penalties-of-worry/) - See Worry As A Form Of Self-harassment:Worry will not bring solutions. Instead, worry distracts from finding solutions. To free yourself from worry sooner, understand what it really is.
- [Successful Companies Are Like Caring Mothers](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/02/how-aan-enduringly-successful-company-is-like-a-caring-mother/) - Like loving mothers, successful companies build trust by demonstrating they care enough to put our needs first, even, sometimes when it is not in their immediate interest. In fact, many companies are misreading their customers repeat buying as loyalty when often it’s not. See these specific ways that some companies do act like caring mothers.
- [Live a Richer, Fuller Life With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/02/live-a-richer-fuller-life-with-others/) - Live a richer more satisfying life by recognizing how to expand your strengths, engage diverse people, become more reflective and wise, and know your noble purpose via insights from Prasad Kaipa, Navi Radiou and Mark Sanborn https://www.facebook.com/FromSmartToWise
- [The The Impotence of Proofreading](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/02/the-the-impotence-of-proofreading/) - Laughing at a monologist's first sentence, you will watching Taylor Mali, is a lesson in how to be compelling and quotable, then seeing how every sentence counts. Like steps across a pond, each sentence his says moves you to go further with him.
- [How Connective Leaders Succeed And Lead Satisfying Lives](https://sayitbetter.com/2014/01/how-connective-leaders-succeed-and-lead-satisfying-lives/) - The most valuable, satisfying way to lead in an increasingly complex yet connected world is to be, well, a connective leader so its worth emulating the traits they share which are described here
- [Scale Your Capacity to Attract Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/12/scale-your-capacity-to-attract-others/) - No matter how smart or caring you are, if you can’t attract support you’ll never be able to accomplish greater things with others for a full and satisfying life. Plus even big organizations die faster in our increasingly complex world if leaders don’t figure out how to evolve and scale the behaviors and systems that most serve their kind of firm’s success, Stanford authors of Scaling Up Excellence discovered via seven years of research and consulting. Get actionable insights about exactly how in this idea-packed book.
- [Pull More Customers Closer By Offering Experiences In Ways They Can Share](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/12/pull-customers-closer-offering-experiences-in-ways-they-can-share/) - Attract more customers, deepen loyalty, learn more about what most delights customers and spur more sales with first-ever experiences that you co-create with businesses that serve the same kind of customers that you do. Bonus benefit? Share success often feels sweeter
- [Create The Ritual We Can Cheerfully Share](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/12/create-the-ritual-we-can-cheerfully-share/) - With the right partners, co-create the experiences and special services and that spur others to participate, share, spend more and grow closer to you and your partner’s company. See more ways to grow your business faster in Kare Anderson's two-day free video-streaming course via CreativeLIVE on December 9th and 10th.
- [Ready To Turn The Page To The Adventure Story You’re Meant To Live?](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/11/ready-to-turn-the-page-to-the-adventure-story-youre-meant-to-live/) - Turn the page to the next chapter of the adventure story you are truly meant to live by taking nine steps that will focus you are your true north path, and keep you on it to make those desired changes permanent so you can play that role you have been longing to play in your life.
- [Be The Holiday Gift They Are Gratified to Get](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/11/be-the-holiday-gift-that-are-gratified-to-get/) - From Go Giver Bob Burg and others discover five specific, free ways to light up others' lives this holiday, pull them closer and, in so doing, make joyful, meaningful memories together
- [Evoke Humor To Befriend, Defuse Tension And Have Fun](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/11/evoke-humor-to-befriend-defuse-tension-and-have-more-fun/) - Understanding how to hit the funny bone isn’t easy, even with these tips and examples. As E.B. White famously noted, “Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. The procedure kills the essence of both the frog and the funny — and then what’s the point?” ding how to hit the funny bone isn’t easy, even with these tips and examples. As E.B. White famously noted, “Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. The procedure kills the essence of both the frog and the funny — and then what’s the point?”
- [Attract More Respect and Affection](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/10/attract-more-respect-and-affection/) - Discover how to display the delicate balance between strength and warmth that is most likely to generate respect and affection so you can attract smarter support sooner, get more done, and lead a meaningful, satisfying life – with others. See insights from the book, Compelling People by John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut.
- [Be A Successful Quitter Sooner Rather Than Later](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/10/be-a-successful-quitter-sooner-rather-than-later/) - The one trait that most successful people share, according to Nick Tasler, enables them to focus, make smarter choices and lead in ways it is easier and more clear and satisfying for others to follow. That trait is the capacity to quit doing things that don’t support your top goal, a vital strength to hone in this increasingly complex, information-flooded and connected world.
- [How Millennials Feel About Friendship, Work and Having Children](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/10/how-millennials-feel-about-friendship-work-and-having-children/) - Surprising 20 year study: How Millennials Feel About Work, Friendships, Having Children & Doing Well
- [Want To Be More Influential? Become The Glue That Holds Diverse Teams Together](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/09/want-to-be-more-influential-become-the-glue-that-holds-diverse-teams-together/) - The most sought-after leaders will be those who can capture opportunities and solve problems fastest by recruiting and leading diverse teams. Discover exactly how.
- [Pull Others Closer And Feel Better Together](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/09/pull-others-closer-and-feel-better-together/) - Share good news in ways that pull others closer, bring out their better side, and boost happiness, camaraderie, reputation and mutual support. Mutuality matters. See how Huffington Post Good News section is benefitting in these ways.
- [If You Are Smart, Hardworking, Loyal And Career-Stalled...](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/09/if-you-are-smart-hardworking-loyal-and-career-stalled/) - More valuable by far, than a mentor: To get promoted as fast as you deserve, if you are hardworking, smart and loyal, your key need is to secure at least two sponsors who have clout in your organization and be the kind of protégé that leverages their success as they champion yours, especially if you are a woman or a person of color. So discovered Find a Sponsor author, Sylvia Ann Hewett who describes exactly why and how to take that faster path to greater success.
- [Catnip for Closer Conversations](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/08/catnip-for-closer-conversations/) - Key to success and savoring life with others is your capacity to communicate to connect with diverse individuals, bringing out their better side so they can see and support yours. That way you naturally attract genuine friendships and more opportunities in a life that feels meaningful
- [Tips for Millennials That Can Help Us All Succeed At Work](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/08/tips-for-millennials-that-can-help-us-all-succeed-at-work/) - As Dan Schawbel points out in Promote Yourself, Millennials who learn to craft a successful and satisfying career as valued employees will also be key to companies surviving and thriving in this increasingly digital world. Companies that encourage cross-generational, as well as cross-functional mentoring and collaboration, inside and outside the walls of their firm, will probably lead the way.
- [When Success Means Happiness Too](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/08/when-success-means-happiness-too/) - Create a path to the kind of success that can bring you happiness and meaning with others, using a well-researched approach used in the popular “Success Course” taught by Wharton professor G. Richard Shell, described in his new book, Springboard.
- [Try Customer-Attracting Video Vignettes](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/08/try-customer-attracting-video-vignettes/) - Connect quicker, more compellingly and with more people by being vividly brief via sharable one-minute videos. Go for it with gusto and Gloopt.
- [Share Experiences That Spur Buying, Loyalty And Learning](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/07/share-experiences-that-spurring-buying-loyalty-and-learning/) - Your biggest opportunity for more options as a consumer, fan, cause-backer, trainer or company owner may come out of the overlapping and grow trends of shared experiences, shareable-based organizations and the collaborative economy. Get glimpses of successful examples here from people as diverse as Brian Solis, Vala Afshar, Rachel Botsman, Peter Guber and Atul Gawande, Jeremiah Owyang
- [What To Do Before Happiness Happens In Your Life?](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/07/what-to-do-before-happiness-happens-in-your-life/) - From real-life experiments and research Shawn Achor, in his new book Before Happiness, crafted a five-step approach to living a happier life with others by understanding exactly how to choose the most positive options available and sticking to a path to achieve them.
- [Quick and Satisfying Way to Leverage Your Value to Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/07/quick-and-satisfying-way-to-leverage-your-value-to-others/) - After a decade of research guess what’s the single most powerful and life-changing way, author Adam M. Grant discovered to be a successful giver? Hint: it doesn’t take any money and just little, focused bits of your time. Get specific ways to do it from Adam Rifkin and Kare Anderson.
- [4 Ways To Say It So It Sticks In Their Minds](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/07/4-ways-to-say-it-so-it-sticks-in-their-minds/) - Four ways to make your message more meaningful, memorable and credible so others will to act on it, and get closer as they do.
- [Be Lazy: How To Kick Back This Holiday to Pull Ahead](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/07/be-lazy-how-to-kick-back-this-holiday-to-pull-ahead/) - Make vital breakthroughs, become more alert, full of energy -- and fully who you are-- by adopting these three “lazy” approaches to the way you live, work and play, beginning with this holiday.
- [Grow Your Life's Work With Others By Spreading Your Key Idea](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/06/grow-your-lifes-work-with-others-by-spreading-your-key-idea/) - Your best way of engaging others may well be your most deeply-rooted, persistently present idea that needs to be distilled and shared via an apt platform where others can add to, reshape and otherwise hone your idea to make it their own which they ardently advocate. See how to break away from the pack by emulating methods successfully used by Cesar Millan, Amy Chua, Andrew Weil, Peter Guber, Gretchen Rubin, Stephen Covey and others.
- [How Companies Keep Succeeding In The Long Run](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/06/how-companies-keep-succeeding-in-the-long-run/) - What matters more than leadership, luck or serendipity for companies to succeed over the long haul? Being willing to change ANYTHING to stick to three rules, which a staggering amount of research shows are key to company sustainability.
- [How What You Display May Reflect Your Beliefs and Personality](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/06/how-what-you-display-may-reflect-your-beliefs-and-personality/) - Want to know how you are inadvertently displaying your personality, beliefs and more by what you display in your car, home and office? Like to recognize your biggest blind spots in how others view you?
- [Somewhat Unexpected Truths About Lying and Lie Detection](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/06/somewhat-unexpected-truths-about-lying-and-lie-detection/) - Discover some myths, misconceptions and truths about when and why we lie; about detecting deception; and how to reduce your temptation to deceive.
- [Four Ways We Sway Others and Get Swayed](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/05/four-ways-we-sway-others-and-get-swayed/) - We are more oblivious than we believe to what sways us in signage and messages, as these four somewhat surprising methods show. Use them to influence others and make smarter decisions.
- [Three Branding and Labeling Lessons From 'Obama's Scandals'](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/05/three-branding-and-labeling-lessons-from-obamas-scandals/) - To win, sell, brand or sway others in our increasingly connected world, learn how to label a situation in ways others repeat: Get three lessons on how from the hyper-heated debate about Obama’s “scandals.”
- [What's The Lesson in the Story You Tell?](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/05/whats-the-lesson-in-the-story-you-tell/) - She’d been fidgeting for some while. Suddenly, she turned and started talking to me. For two hours we’d sat silently, side-by-side at the airport gate, waiting for our small commuter airplane. Leaning on the narrow metal armrest that divided our seats, she looked hesitant yet determined. “Now I need to be brave for my father.
- [Bring Out Their Best Side. They’ll See and Support Yours](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/04/bring-out-their-best-side-theyll-see-and-support-yours/) - Whether you are selling, serving, courting, coddling others, here are ten specific ways to pull them closer, keep them involved and grow shared experiences that benefit you both
- [How Great Helpfulness Wins Hearts and Sales](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/04/how-great-helpfulness-wins-hearts-and-sales/) - Discover customer-centered methods to be more helpful, and enjoyable than your competition and become their top-of-mind choice. See five specific ways you can attract and keep grateful customers.
- [Surprising Secret to a Satisfying and Successful Life With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/04/surprising-secret-to-a-satisfying-and-successful-life-with-others/) - Beware of being a "doormat" -- the downside of giving in ways that put you in the unsuccessful and unhappy crowd as compared to those who understand how to give in ways that support their success and happiness with others. Discover how to become sought-after and productive in Adam Grant's book, Give and Take
- [Want to Make Your Company Top-of-Mind and Your Employees Proud?](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/03/want-to-make-your-company-top-of-mind-and-your-employees-proud/) - Your biggest opportunity to strengthen relationships with key stakeholders, stand out in your market and enter new ones, and to boost employee performance, retention, morale and esprit de corps may be to support and train employees to be authentic, adept, articulate ambassadors of your company brand and thus their own. Here’s more about how and why.
- [Choose How You Want to Feel](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/03/choose-how-you-want-to-feel/) - Since self-affirmations make most sad people sadder, lift your mood by taking the ACT approach and enjoy more upbeat and meaningful moments
- [Ready to Reinvent Yourself?](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/03/ready-to-reinvent-yourself/) - Changing careers and seeking an actionable roadmap to get there faster? Read Reinventing You by Dorie Clark who successfully made the move, burnished her brand and pulled in complementary allies to savor the transition, as can you. This Harvard Business Review and Forbes contributor and sought-after strategic communication consultant offers specific methods buttressed by relevant success stories.
- [Life-Altering Ups and Downs of Big Data](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/03/life-altering-ups-and-downs-of-big-data/) - Get briefed on dangers and opportunities that Big Data is already creating in many parts of our lives so you can make smarter choices for yourself and with others. Glean actionable insights from the authors of Big Data, The Global Tilt, Illicit and The End of Power.
- [How to Get Others to Share Your Idea and Spur Buying](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/02/how-to-get-others-to-share-your-idea-and-spur-buying/) - Discover exactly how to get others to spread your idea or buy your product, by using Jonah Berger’s STEPPS elements, described in his book Contagious. In this column get, 8 actionable insights, about his sometimes surprising research findings, buttressed by fun success stories.
- [Sheryl Sandberg's Lessons to Succeed and Savor Your Work and Life](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/02/sheryl-sandbergs-lessons-to-succeed-and-savor-your-work-and-life/) - Don’t stand back. Instead, advocates Sheryl Sandberg in her new book Lean In to making work and home life more workable for yourself and others. She offers research-buttressed advice and personal stories. The side benefit for you, too, may be standing out from the crowd in Davos or somewhere else that matters to you
- [Enjoy Life More With Smarter Self-Talk](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/02/enjoy-life-more-with-smarter-self-talk/) - To live a more meaningful, productive life with others here are six, research-based ways to nudge yourself into actually changing how you see situations and act in them.
- [Maximize Mentoring with Tips From Kevin Bacon's TV Show Involving Serial Killers](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/01/maximize-mentoring-with-tips-from-kevin-bacons-tv-show-involving-serial-killers/) - LaRae Quy, Co-author It’s disconcerting to hear that there are an estimated 300 active serial killers in the U.S. That’s part of the chilling premise of the popular, sometimes violent new TV show, The Following. Serial killers, led by a psychopath, manage to find a way to communicate with each other, and recruit other killers
- [Why Men Retreat and Women then Go wild](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/01/why-men-retreat-and-women-then-go-wild/) - Get concrete steps to turn your closest relationships, including with loved ones, into opportunities to bring out the better side in both of you rather than the worst. There’s probably no more vital capacity for you to hone and have a meaningful, mostly satisfying life of caring and enduring accomplishment
- [Lance Can Helps Us Avoid Our Temptation to Lie](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/01/lance-can-helps-us-avoid-our-temptation-to-lie/) - Lance Armstrong’s interview with Oprah can offer us costly lessons on deceit, the collateral damage it inflicts on others, and most of all, ways we are all dishonest some of the time, and how we can avoid going too far down the slippery slope of deceit so far we can never fully recover our precious friendships, reputation and capacity to live a life we can savor with other
- [Be Happier With Others by First Bringing Out Their Best Side](https://sayitbetter.com/2013/01/be-happier-with-others-by-first-bringing-out-their-best-si/) - Attract smarter support sooner and savor your life more by employing two ways to bring out others' best side (talent and temperament) each time you meet or re-meet them, so they are more likely to see and support yours. Learn from respected behavioral experts Sonja Lyubomirsky, Donald O. Clifton, Barbara Erickson, Marcus Buckingham and John Gottman,
- [Seven Ways to Sway Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/12/seven-ways-to-sway-others/) - Adopt seven behavior-based methods to sway others and attract more sales or cause support, increase per-customer sales and generate the bragging rights that spur referrals, reputation-building and more
- [How to be Happier by Co-Creating a New Holiday Tradition](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/12/how-to-be-happier-by-co-creating-a-new-holiday-tradition/) - Make your holiday more meaningful, memorable and filled with love for others by co-creating your own, distinctive tradition that enables you to deepen friendships and demonstrate a willingness to bear witness to the pains and the joys you have experienced over the past year.
- [Response to Sandy Hook Shooting by Saving Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/12/response-to-sandy-hook-shooting-by-saving-others/) - Use your feelings of outrage and sadness about the Sandy Hook shooting as fuel to hone your capacity turn more situations into opportunities to bring out others happier and higher-performing side. All of us can reduce violence by using connective cues to boost convivial behavior before hurt feelings turn into violent action. Here are eight ways to act and speak to others’ positive intent, especially when they appear to have none.
- [How Will Your Firm Use Customer-Attracting Video in 2013?](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/12/how-will-your-firm-use-customer-attracting-video-in-2013/) - Since 2013 is the year of customer-attracting, participatory video, jumpstart your experimentation by getting a quick overview of early successes and failures, profitable partnering possibilities and the best role you and your organization can play to stay relevant and sought-after. From Richard Branson to Mike Rowe (and perhaps you) people are turning their stories, scenes and what-if scenarios into captivating video that pull in audiences, customers, cause supporters and more.
- [What Employees Most Want This Holiday](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/11/what-employees-most-want-this-holiday/) - More than a company party, even with an open bar, give your employees what they most want: raise, bonus or paid time off according to the Glassdoor survey out today. How do most employees feel about their bosses? Who's the most popular CEOs? What do job seekers most want? What non-financial behaviors can boost employee well-being and performance? Find out here.
- [Cyber Monday Doesn't Have to be Grinch for Small Business Owners](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/11/cyber-monday-doesnt-have-to-be-grinch-for-small-business-owners/) - Business owners: As a profitable alternative to Cyber Monday, offer exclusive or one-of-a-kind or customizable gifts as a firewall to Cyber Monday and other holiday price wars. Gift givers: Even if you don't think you are especially creative you have more ways to customize gifts or to buy unique ones that can be especially meaningful for those special people in your life. Jump on the maker movement, as a seller and/or a buyer who wants the stuff you sell or buy to be reflective of how you life and what you love. Join the Maker Movement
- [Make Your Conference the Centerpiece for a Tight-Knit Community](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/11/make-your-conference-the-centerpiece-for-a-tight-knit-community/) - Get concrete ideas for making your conference more popular and profitable. From interactive TV and sessions to eBooks, more shareable ways that more stakeholders can participate, learn, build relationships, sponsor, co-create content and keep conversations going throughout the year
- [Winning Lessons We Can Learn From This Presidential Campaign](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/11/winning-lessons-we-can-learn-from-this-presidential-campaign/) - From this bitter, revolutionary, expensive, high tech/high touch and high stakes presidential campaign learn three ways to win in your work, stay relevant and sought-after and to savor greater accomplishments with and for others. They may also support your answer to Clayton Christensen’s question “How will you measure your life?”
- [Your Roadmap for Fully Capturing the Profitable Power of Social](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/11/your-roadmap-for-fully-capturing-the-profitable-power-of-social/) - To stay ahead of your current and future competition, migrate your company over to fully harnessing the strategic use of social technologies, following the steps outlined by Forbes columnist, Mark Fidelman in his book Socialized, based on the approach of over 100 organizations that have successfully made the transition.
- [How Others’ Politics Insults May be Affecting Your Behavior and What You Can Do About it](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/10/how-others-politics-insults-may-be-affecting-your-behavior-and-what-you-can-do-about-it/) - Upside to the current barrage of political mudslinging: Ironically one of the best times to start or deepen friendships is when insults are flying because the contrast between your calm, thoughtful ways of engaging will stand in sharp contrast to the surrounding hostile atmosphere. Practice these six ways of communicating to connect.
- [Sparkplug Scutaro: the Velcro Effect of Insults and Praise](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/10/sparkplug-scutaro-the-velcro-effect-of-insults-and-praise/) - Pull others closer by giving the most credible, memorable praise: 10 ways. Beware of the more potent impact of criticism.
- [Don't Let a Binders Meme Stick to You: 7 Tips to Say it Better](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/10/dont-let-a-binders-meme-stick-to-you-7-tips-to-say-it-better/) - Our lesson from the “binders” meme sticking to Mitt Romney and “whining” to Hillary Clinton is to label ourselves before someone else does. Here are seven ways make your characterization the one that is most repeated.
- [Add More to Your Life by Subtraction](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/10/add-more-to-your-life-by-subtraction/) - Lead a life of greater accomplishment, meaning and pleasure -- with others -- by subtracting the extraneous parts, following Matthew May's six laws, buttressed by apt examples and captivating stories
- [How Hospitals Can Stop Killing as Many Patients](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/10/how-hospitals-can-stop-killing-as-many-patients/) - Since “as many as 25 percent of all patients are harmed by medical mistakes” it behooves us to know the few ways we can find the most competent doctor and hospital and discern the best treatment from what we are told and learn. Learn from Unaccountable author and Johns Hopkins doctor and professor Marty Makary -- and some others -- exactly what you can do to get the safest, best care, and to spur hospitals and doctors to provide the timely information we need to make more informed choices, thus spurring better and, in some cases, less costly care.
- [How to Succeed Since Success is Random](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/09/how-to-succeed-since-success-is-random/) - Since success is random, talent is over-rated, and the Law of Unintended Consequences is happening more frequently, why not adopt a proven approach to success, based on recognizing serendipitous events that create the Click Moments where you can capture fresh opportunity to succeed and savor your life with others.
- [Five Reasons Why Stoicism Matters Today](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/09/five-reasons-why-stoicism-matters-today/) - When Bill Clinton called Barack Obama “a man cool on the outside, but who burns for America on the inside” he inadvertently reflected a benefit of Stoicism, coolness under pressure. Stoicism, born in a world falling apart, has a tremendous amount to teach us, especially in these passion-saturated times.
- [Discover How Your Behaviors Compare With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/09/discover-how-your-behaviors-compare-with-others/) - Get the free app that enables you to compare your behaviors and beliefs with millions of others around the world in this huge project to literally put the human face on Big Data. EMC, FedEx, Cisco and others have made this crowdsourced contest, big format picture book, school lessons and projects and other events possible.Seeing how others behalf may well change how you behave, which may change how they behave.... social proof may scale.
- [How to Become an Opportunity Maker With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/09/how-to-become-an-opportunity-maker-with-others/) - Years ago, a board member brought me into a corporation to lead a team in creating two products that he felt would boost the stock price. Here’s how it happened. In my vigorous interview of him for The Wall Street Journal, he described how the firm could fall behind without them, and I became fascinated
- [Insight From Massive Social Experiment Could Sway Voting, Spending and Other Behavior](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/09/insight-from-massive-social-experiment-could-sway-voting-spending-and-other-behavior/) - The results, announced today, of a massive social experiment involving 61 million Facebookers, led to the creation of an algorithm that, if used by either political party, might tip the scales of this presidential election. Yes, that’s a staggering conclusion. The discovery may also alter target marketing, and word of mouth and cause campaigns. It may even boost Facebook’s stock price. It will certainly affirm the inordinate value of our close friends, especially those we know online and in the real world. Consequently our collective and individual behavior in all these spheres, on line and in real life, may morph more swiftly as people tinker with the results of this study.
- [What Vulnerability Looks Like to Psychopaths, Monks and the Rest of Us](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/09/what-vulnerability-looks-like-to-psychopaths-monks-and-the-rest-of-us/) - Surprisingly both psychopaths and meditative monks share two traits, an inordinate capacity to see usually hidden feelings, especially those that can make us feel most vulnerable, and an extraordinary capacity to remain calm even in the face of great stress, according to The Wisdom of Psychopaths' author Kevin Dutton. Taking a different view on the value of vulnerability, TED talk star and author of Daring Greatly, Brene Brown suggests that facing and aptly sharing our moment of vulnerability can actually lead to acting more courageously, and living more fully with others.
- [Perhaps More Provocative Than Political Debate: The End of Men, The Rise of Women](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/09/perhaps-more-provocative-than-political-debate-the-end-of-men-the-rise-of-women/) - Discover the sometimes surprising ways and places that women and men around the world are shifting roles, character traits and desires for marriage, careers, children and leadership in the book, The End of Men and the Rise of Women.
- [The Secret to Staying Sought-After](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/09/the-secret-to-staying-sought-after/) - Practice connective listening cues to become an Opportunity Maker with and for others. That way, you stay relevant and sought-after while savoring work and life with others. Also, you will work more productively and collaboratively as you bring out the best side in others so they see and support yours.
- [Wobbly Economy: Money and Other Extrinsic Rewards Do Matter](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/08/wobbly-economy-money-and-other-extrinsic-rewards-do-matter/) - “…the glad-handing, truth-bending form of sales is a relic” is in the promotional copy for Daniel H. Pink’s new book, To Sell is Human. It always has been for some and always will be for others, despite our greater ability, today, to verify what we are told. That is intrinsic to being human. The part where
- [Make Your Message (Almost) as Vital as Air](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/08/make-your-message-almost-as-vital-as-air/) - To stay relevant and sought-after, speak so they not only remember but want to tell others. Become more quotable by evoking the elements of A.I.R.
- [5 Ways Storytelling Can Boost Participation and Performance](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/08/5-ways-storytelling-can-boost-participation-and-performance/) - Boost collaboration, camaraderie, quotability and performance through storytelling that includes these elements. Also see great books about storytelling for work and for other parts of your life.
- [Ping Pong Presidential Campaign Politics as a Warning and Primer for Protecting Your Reputation](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/08/ping-pong-presidential-campaign-politics-as-a-warning-and-primer-for-protecting-your-reputation/) - From political campaign tactics learn rapid response and proactive methods to protect your reputation, leveraging the full talents and relationships of your organization, boosting morale and quotability and collaboration skills along the way.
- [How Humor Helps](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/08/how-humor-helps/) - Accomplish greater things with others by the apt use of self-deprecating and other kinds of humor. Discover 15 reasons and ways to evoke laughter that brings us closer.
- [How to Avoid Relationship-Damaging Mental Traps](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/08/how-to-avoid-relationship-damaging-mental-traps/) - Discover specific ways we instinctively react against others, and how to turn around situations to bond rather than bust relationships in work or personal life.
- [We Are Constantly Being Swayed by Unconscious Cues](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/08/we-are-constantly-being-swayed-by-unconscious-cues/) - Ways we are unconsciously influenced to buy, like or support something or someone.
- [Unexpected Customer-Attracting Event Turns Bland Moments Into Grand Memory](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/07/unexpected-customer-attracting-event-turns-bland-moments-into-grand-memory/) - Customer-attracting events that are co-created can generate more visibility and value with apt partnership while costing less
- [Hooked?](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/07/hooked/) - When I was a reporter covering business trends and profiles of executives throughout Europe the stories usually fascinated me, yet I was often more struck by the off-hand advice of my interpreter, a young French woman. Amélie has become a lifelong friend, by the way. Becoming Besotted by You With great equanimity Amélie once suggested that
- [Take a Life-Changing Way to Celebrate This Holiday](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/06/take-a-life-changing-way-to-celebrate-this-holiday/) - What’s next for you? What do you really want to Dare Dream Do now? See this holiday as an opportunity to reach deep inside to consider what you are most called to do at this time in your life. What’s atrophied inside your soul? Most of all what are the passionate interests you keep putting
- [Gut Instincts Quiz:  See How to Get Along Better](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/06/gut-instincts-quiz-see-how-to-get-along-better/) - How well do you understand how gut instincts influence your likes, dislikes, and even your attention span? Want to find out? Here are nine questions. Some of the answers may surprise you. 1. Do people get along better when talking to each other if they are facing each other or if they are standing side by
- [Next Time Don’t Shoot Yourself in the Foot: 38 Negotiation Tips](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/06/next-time-dont-shoot-yourself-in-the-foot-39-negotiation-tips/) - Long ago one of my heroes, the unflappable and well-liked Howard Raiffa once said something like, “It is easier to deal with a jerk who knows what he wants than a pleasant person who doesn’t.” He also offered this gem in his classic book, The Art and Science of Negotiation: “We act like a zero-sum
- [Give Unforgettable Gifts by Involving Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/06/give-unforgettable-gifts-by-involving-others/) - Your apt, unexpected gift can reflect the flip side of Kim Kardashian’s present to Kayne West, a $750,000 Lamborghini, which may, in fact, have cost her nothing if the carmaker gave it to her as a product placement opportunity. In a celebrity obsessed, time-pressed and increasingly transient world where more people are working and living
- [See Your Kindness as Inoculation Against Continuing in Pain](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/06/see-your-kindness-as-inoculation-against-continuing-in-pain/) - When you feel affronted pause before responding and recall this French proverb: "Write injuries in sand, kindnesses in marble." Here’s one mighty helpful reason why. Whatever we praise we encourage to flourish. Unfortunately there’s a damaging flip side. Whatever we criticize or sometimes just frown at will cause a quicker, more intense and longer reaction
- [Ten Somewhat Unexpected Truths About Lying and Liars](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/05/ten-somewhat-unexpected-truths-about-lying-and-liars/) - George O'Leary's lies cost him the Notre Dame coach's job in 2001 and lying about his resume cost Yahoo CEO, Scott Thompson his job. Yet how common is lying? Truth One How often do most of us lie? About every 10 minutes. Not you, of course, which may be a lie. Most of us lie
- [The Snoop Shows How You Display Who You Are, Even When You Don’t Mean to](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/05/the-snoop-shows-how-you-display-who-you-are-even-when-you-dont-mean-to/) - How We Tell Others Who We Are On this Memorial Day weekend, what are we signaling when we flood Facebook with slogans and images of salutes to our troops and the “Likes” that follow? Certainly we intend to honor soldiers who serve our country, yet there’s more to this “contagious phenomenon.” "It's about the urge
- [What Most Bugs Women About Men?](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/05/what-most-bugs-women-about-men/) - They don’t listen. Some women are nodding as they read this and some men feel prickles of irritation. And what do men most resent about women other than not enough, well, you know? Women try to change (“improve”) their man. You’ve probably experienced, first hand, a related bone of contention. More than once. Women talk
- [Stay Sought-after by Honing Two Traits](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/05/stay-sought-after-by-honing-two-traits/) - “We are moving from sharing to cooperation to collective action,” wrote Clay Shirky. “Many ideas grow better when transplanted into another mind than in the one where they sprung up,” Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. noted long ago. Yet to fully benefit from these insights one must be perceived as valuable. The more valuable you are
- [Attract Smarter Support Sooner and Savor Your Life More With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/05/attract-smarter-support-sooner-and-savor-your-life-more-with-others/) - “When you throw mud you get dirty,” Adlai Stephenson once remarked in response to a question about whether he would criticize his opponent who was launching vicious, personal attacks against him in a political campaign. And you lose ground. Yet many politicos say negative campaigning and ads are effective in attracting votes so they are
- [Two Ways to Make Smarter Choices Next Time](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/04/two-ways-to-make-smarter-choices-next-time/) - 1. Don't Get Anchored Down How would you answer these two questions? 1. Is the population of Turkey greater than 35 million? 2. What’s your best estimate of Turkey’s population? Actually the sequence of the questions contaminates your answer. If you are like most people, the figure of 35 million (researchers chose this number arbitrarily)
- [From Odd Places Pull in Fresh Adventures and Friendships](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/02/from-odd-places-pull-in-fresh-adventures-and-friendships/) - Five men are walking across the Golden Gate Bridge on an outing organized by their wives who are college friends. The women move ahead in animated conversation. One man describes the engineering involved in the bridge’s long suspension. Another points to the changing tide lines below. A third asked if they’ve heard of the new
- [Nudge Others to Act by Pulling Them Into Your Story](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/02/nudge-others-to-act-by-pulling-them-into-your-story/) - Marie Beckinger was driving home from grocery shopping when a bank robber in a dented pickup truck streaked through a red light. He was attempting to escape a trailing police car. He struck the passenger’s side of Marie’s car where her infant, Gabriel, was buckled into his car seat in front and her toddler, Annabelle,
- [We Are All Literally Two-Faced](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/02/we-are-all-literally-two-faced/) - "Your face is my map to your life." ~ Harry Houdini, magician We are all literally and unwittingly two-faced. To learn more about how you present yourself to the world and about your underlying, more "private" feelings, you just have to look yourself in the face. Want to get out a mirror now, before you
- [When You Want to Crawl in a Hole But Can’t](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/01/when-you-want-to-crawl-in-a-hole-but-cant/) - In “one fatal keystroke” Rose Zory, the Chief People Officer at Carat Media sent a “for top management only” email on the messaging managers should use when firing (oops, rightsizing) some employees. She sent that email to every single person in the company. Carat is Europe's largest media group, by the way. It provides advertising and public relations
- [Your Authentic Voice Draws Others Closer](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/01/your-authentic-voice-draws-others-closer/) - ''I had a doorbell moment this week,'' Patricia told Tracy. Both have sons serving in the same Marine unit in Iraq. Patricia is describing the fear that grabs her the moment her doorbell rings unexpectedly, thinking that the officer on the other side has come to tell her that her son is dead. Tracy understands.
- [Craft an Attention-Grabbing Message](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/01/craft-an-attention-grabbing-message/) - I am gratified by the 249 comments to this post I wrote for Harvard Business Review and seek your specific tips on quotability, the first step to connecting in this increasingly complex, information-flooded, and connected world: You can feel the tension in the compressed smiles, quick nods and pointed questions at the annual Morgan Stanley Global
- [Since Smart People Sometimes Act Stupid….](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/01/since-smart-people-sometimes-act-stupid/) - … you may want to recognize ways to avoid such self- sabotage -- not that you would need such advice, of course, yet your intelligent friends might. According to the 15 experts cited by Yale professor, Robert J. Steinberg, Why Smart People Can Be So Stupid, high I.Q. people are more likely to fall into
- [Sensory Cues Can Bring Others Closer](https://sayitbetter.com/2012/01/sensory-cues-can-bring-others-closer/) - Give customers the bragging rights that spur them to tell others about their experience at your place or event. I wondered. Was it the butterscotch-colored walls, light coconut scent wafting through the door as I opened it or the cushy island of deep blue carpet under my feet as I stepped into the boutique hotel?
- [Sometimes Worry is Worthless and Fear is a Friend](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/12/sometimes-worry-is-worthless-and-fear-is-a-friend/) - We women generally worry more than men. For example, "While men are bearing the brunt of the job losses, women report much higher levels of fear and worry about their families’ financial security than men do" and women worry more than their husbands about prostate cancer coming back. Yet it is vital to recognize the difference between
- [The Hidden Opportunity in Being Verbally Attacked](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/12/the-hidden-opportunity-in-being-verbally-attacked/) - Years ago a candidate for California Superintendant of Schools repeatedly insinuated that his opponent was lying on her business tax returns and had an affair with a student intern. His charges were immediately disputed by her accountant, the student and several co-workers at her firm. Not surprisingly, the attacks generated considerable interest in their first
- [Make the Next Chapter of Your Life Story the Adventure You Really Want to Live](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/12/make-the-next-chapter-of-your-life-story-the-adventure-you-really-want-to-live/) - Writing of her secret life as a prostitute, a blogger with the pseudonym Belle de Jour had a backstory worthy of a movie script. In fact it was turned into a Showtime TV series. She wanted to have a satisfying next chapter of her life story so she wrote about it. You see she’s “a respected specialist
- [Why Waiters Cried Serving Breakfast](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/12/why-waiters-cried-serving-breakfast/) - After a priest moved to a new parish he approached his superior one afternoon to ask, "Would you mind if I smoked while praying?" and was, not surprisingly, turned down. Yet how one makes a request has a huge impact on whether it will be granted. For example, the priest might have said, "Would you
- [Two Secrets to Daily Happiness](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/12/two-secrets-to-daily-happiness/) - Simplify. It’s clarifying. Only then can one can focus. Focus on what is really going on. From the inside out What do you feel right now? What most matters to you? What is happening, truly happening with those in the scene you are playing out right now? What best serves the situation? My friend Nate says,
- [Why Seeking Meaning in Most Any Action Sometimes Getting Us Into Trouble](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/12/why-we-seeking-meaning-in-most-any-action-sometimes-getting-us-into-trouble/) - Even when shown circles, triangles and other geometric objects randomly moving about on a screen, we tend to turn them into familiar objects. Then we instinctively attempt to determine what they mean, a study found. Two examples: 1. “When asked what they had been watching, the subjects used words like ''chase'' and ''capture.'' They did not just
- [Feel you flubbed that last speech? you gave?](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/12/feel-you-flubbed-that-last-speech-you-gave/) - You’ll feel much better after watching Phil Davison’s emotional appeal for support. To put it dryly his talk amply demonstrates that being genuine and emotionally committed to one’s point of view does not necessarily mean you will connect with your audience.. Also, having apparently apt credentials like a Masters in Communication, does not necessarily mean
- [Don’t Get Caught Off-Guard](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/12/dont-get-caught-off-guard/) - Wincing I glanced down. It hadn’t taken much to make that small blister appear in the hollow of my palm, that most tender of places on one’s hand. It’s my writing hand where a thin flap of skin now folded back. I’d just planted 30 daffodil bulbs in my garden but had neglected to wear
- [Turn More Situations Into Opportunities to Connect](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/11/turn-more-situations-into-opportunities-to-connect/) - To this day I’m mortified when I see a box of chocolates. Perhaps sharing this story may save you from embarrassing yourself in a similar way. I was in the Antwerp airport, heading back to San Francisco. Before settling into a seat at my gate I bought two indulgences for the flight home, John LeCarre’s
- [Label Your Idea, Your Business or Yourself Before Someone Else Does](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/10/label-your-idea-your-business-or-yourself-before-someone-else-does/) - When one billionaire CEO lambasts another, labeling his technology the “roach motel of clouds” he is bound to make news. Few corporate CEOs would be that vividly denigrating except Oracle’s CEO Larry Ellison. Fewer still would deliver a lightening-quick, equally negative label back, as Salesforce’s CEO Marc Benioff who compared Ellison to an “oppressive dictator”
- [See synchronicity as signaling the next chapter of adventure you seek, with others](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/09/see-synchronicity-as-signaling-the-next-chapter-of-adventure-you-seek-with-others/) - Coincidences are often signs of synchronicity, yet they aren’t as obvious as some you may see. Unless you are looking for patterns. Then you can notice what you are choosing to notice. Ironically I discovered Daniel Johnson’s article online about meaningful coincidences by accident because he described an incident in which a friend of mine
- [Invite the Unexpected for a More Adventuresome Life... With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/08/invite-the-unexpected-for-a-more-adventuresome-life-with-others/) - Odd things can happen when hanging out with those who don’t act right, like you. I got unexpected insights when, with two friends, I walked through the Steins Collection of paintings by Matissse, Picasso and other avant-garde painters in bohemian Paris. In most every gallery room one friend would sit on the bench in the
- [Online Communities and Traditional Clubs Can Learn From Each Other](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/06/online-communities-and-traditional-clubs-can-learn-from-each-other/) - Even Michael Skoler who leads Public Radio International’s interactive activities was surprised by the huge turnout for Ira Glass’ live version of his popular radio show, This American Life. Wrote Gigaom’s Mathew Ingram, “More than 30,000 watched the first digital show at hundreds of theaters across the U.S. and Canada in the spring of 2008.
- [Seven Successful Ways to Nudge Us to Take Action](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/06/seven-successful-ways-to-nudge-us-to-take-action/) - Mike wasn’t aware that we were closely watching him as he strode into the pool table showroom but he was the ninth unwitting participant in our experiment. He glanced at the sign “Three Most Popular Models” that hung above an ornately carved, antique pool table, flanked closely on either side by a bare-bones model and
- [Host an Online Community Around Your Passionate Interest](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/05/host-an-online-community-around-your-passionate-interest/) - Dog lovers, civic-minded coders, Civil War buffs and cyclists have two things in common. They are ardent about their special interest and thus they are more likely to be active in an online community. They want to share their experiences and know-how with others who feel as passionate as they do about their special interest.
- [What’s Love Got to Do With it?](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/05/whats-love-got-to-do-with-it/) - In a New Yorker cartoon, a bored-looking couple are sitting apart on a couch, facing a smiling therapist who says, “Any healthy relationship requires fundamental acting skills.” Clearly the Michelangelo Effect is not in play. Couples who affirm and support each other's best side also “sculpt” each other in beneficial ways. They become deeply committed
- [I Was Completely Surprised by His Behavior](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/04/i-was-completely-surprised-by-his-behavior/) - Reinventing himself when he arrived at college Sam, “who had never had much luck with women” successfully beguiled a string of women into one-night stands, leaving his male friends shaking their heads in wonder because the women, though dumped, saw him as “sensitive, caring and sweet.” Also odd, Sam took up the habit of frequently
- [We, the New Video Storytellers](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/01/we-the-new-video-storytellers/) - See Validation or The Chase and get inspired by the innovative ways talented “amateurs” get paid for their co-created video vignettes. You, too, can gather the team for your video story. Media agencies can provide the sponsoring companies that want to be associated, by name, with a positively captivating vignette or story that can be
- [One Way to Nudge Ourselves Into a Nourishing New Year Together](https://sayitbetter.com/2011/01/one-way-to-nudge-ourselves-into-a-nourishing-new-year-together/) - Want to to kick off your new year in a way that will spur growth, enable you to savor time with others and create fresh meaning in your life? Try this .... Create a Mutually-Reinforcing Group Ritual For over a decade in Lake Oswego, Oregon, eight women, including my college friend Jane, get of bed
- [It's Never Too Late to Start a Group That Becomes Close-Knit](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/11/its-never-too-late-to-start-a-group-that-becomes-close-knit/) - There’s a Relationship Revolution bubbling up and you’ve probably seen signs of it. Rain or shine, for over a decade, my college friend Jane Burns has been walking the same route in Lake Oswego every morning at 7:00 am with the same hardy group of women. Neighbors yet strangers at first, the habit has bound
- [97 Tools to Help You to Successfully Collaborate With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/11/97-tools-to-help-you-to-successfully-collaborate-with-others-2/) - Whether you’re on a project team, party-planning or seeking customers’ input to improve your product you have more chance of success with the right collaborative tools. Often, the trouble is finding the best methods or tools when you need them. Here’s a shareable list to which you can add your favorites. It’s exciting and overwhelming
- [In the Face of Fear Connect to Sell or to Collaborate](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/10/in-the-face-of-fear-connect-to-sell-or-to-collaborate/) - Got a business? Nervous about your future? Anyone who says they don’t feel fearful sometimes in the face of this uncertain economy is in deep denial. One symptom, research shows, is that it is literally harder to hear when we’re stressed. That’s a signal to savvy, caring business owners to listen sooner, deeper and longer.
- [Create Your Instant News Daily Around Your Top Interest](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/10/create-your-instant-news-daily-around-your-top-interest/) - What if you could effortlessly launch a daily online news summary -based on your favorite interest or expertise - one that can be viewed as an elegant magazine? You now can because of Twitter and a popular start-up paper.li. Your "daily" can cover the current tweets of all the people you follow or the stories
- [Make Your Work an Opportunity Multiplier With and for Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/10/make-your-work-an-opportunity-multiplier-with-and-for-others/) - “I had a woman in Idaho tell me that her options for employment went from one job to hundreds because of her ability to work from home after receiving broadband,” said DigitalBridge founder, Kelley Dunne. In partnership with others including Internet providers he offered online access to rural or otherwise “underserved areas of the country such
- [Ways to Share That Benefit You and Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/09/ways-to-share-that-benefit-you-and-others/) - One Saturday a friend who lives on Nob Hill in S.F. drove a zipcar over to visit me in Sausalito. He was eager to tell me about his trip to Istanbul, paid for by renting out his spare bedroom. Earlier that morning, via a freecycle posting, a stranger picked up some clay pots I’d set
- [Ten Books That Can Help You Collaborate](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/09/ten-books-that-can-help-you-collaborate/) - "The bottom-up world is to be the great theme of this century." ~ Matt Ridley Nobody can know everything, nor do everything well. Yet you can know someone who does – or know somebody who knows somebody who does. And that may be the secret to staying sought-after in this increasingly complex and connected world.
- [How We Can Rely on Each Other in Our Community](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/09/how-we-can-rely-on-each-other-in-our-community/) - What makes a community abundant in this new new normal world? In this uncertain economy where budgets of local governments and non-profit budgets will continue to get slashed, it is especially heartening to read the mutual-reliance message inherent in this book. How Communities Can Run Leaner and Better Rather than rely solely on outsiders and
- [An Approach to Crowdsourcing Worth Emulating](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/08/an-approach-to-crowdsourcing-worth-emulating/) - Like the Aussies, you’d probably jump at the chance to preserve your country’s past – especially if you could fit your volunteer work into convenient breaks in your day. That’s why it’s worth your while to learn about the crowdsourced Trove project. But another reason is that you might be able to adapt the Trove
- [Find Kindred Spirits or Customers by Sharing the Simple Way](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/08/find-kindred-spirits-or-customers-by-sharing-the-simple-way/) - There’s a simple, satisfying way to attract those who share your interests or seek your kind of product. It enables you to demonstrate your expertise and it doesn’t take much time nor cost anything. Sharing helpful tips with those who want them is more appreciated - and credibility-building - than self-promotion. In a time-starved world,
- [From Slave Trading to Watching Kittens on Treadmills: How We Use Our Cognitive Surplus](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/08/from-slave-trading-to-watching-kittens-on-treadmills-how-we-use-our-cognitive-surplus/) - The invisible gorilla, Get Satisfaction, wellness community, Bikewire, kiva and etsy are just some of the online places we’ve shared for fun, money-making, justice, special interests, tips or support. With more free time and the spread of “public media” ordinary citizens can “pool free time to pursue activities together” suggests Clay Shirky in Cognitive Surplus,
- [What’s Your Hot Button With Partners?](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/07/whats-your-hot-button-with-partners/) - Partners – romantic and otherwise – tend to fight when one feels neglected or threatened. When Peter Bregman’s wife yelled from two rooms away, “at least pack the shampoo” she was feeling neglected. Recognizing which underlying feeling is being evoked helps you know how to resolve the conflict. So discovered psychology professor Keith Sanford. Which
- [Speed Coaching: A Fast, Fun Way to Get Expert Advice](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/07/speed-coaching-a-fast-fun-way-to-get-expert-advice/) - Q. Want to live faster or slower? A: Yes. Want to savor food (or fashion) slowly but grow your career or business faster? Try a Speed Coaching event. From Hong Kong to Anaheim, this wildly popular format is being adopted to serve diverse crowds quickly. They range from those who got pink slips to food and beverage folks, non-profit staffers, journalists, executives, students, government staffers, indie business owners
- [How Gestures Connect or Repel](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/07/1926/) - For many years my parents took what some Brits call an evening “constitutional.” They walked, hand in hand, around the neighborhood - just the two of them. Sometimes, they talked. Other evenings they said little, so I am told. Yet they always came home smiling. Since then I’ve discovered that motion evokes emotion, for good
- [Create the Ritual We Brag About](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/07/create-the-ritual-we-brag-about/) - If a hotel can become famous for leading ducks across their lobby at 11:00 then certainly your business can become more well-known for some simple ritual that customers like to photograph and tell others about and reporters love to cover. In fact it’s surprising that so few businesses and other organizations see the power of
- [Grow Your Member Organization by Collaborating With Members and Other Groups](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/07/grow-your-member-organization-by-collaborating-with-members-and-other-groups/) - Become an opportunity-maker for the member organization that most matters to you. Imagine that your association or special interest group kept innovating to create more value and meaning for members. That’s what TED has done and we can too by taking three collaborative steps over time: 1. Offer a single major conference - as most
- [Two Keys to Our Burgeoning Bottom-Up World](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/06/two-keys-to-our-burgeoning-bottom-up-world/) - Life is getting better faster. Food is more widely available; we live longer; more people have money and violence, disease and child mortality are down all around the world. Yet there will be turmoil. “The bottom-up world is to be the great theme of this century,” predicts Matt Ridley in his controversial new book Rational
- [Five Ways to Bring Others Closer](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/06/five-ways-to-bring-others-closer/) - Even though we know we are more likely to savor life and attract more opportunities to collaborate when we click with others, we often get in our own way – especially when we are distracted or worse. Here are five concrete ways to connect with others. 1. Face the world as you want to be
- [One Way Speakers Get Return Engagements and More Fans](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/06/one-way-speakers-get-return-engagements-and-more-fans/) - What’s one of meeting planners’ biggest fears? A frowning audience – or worse. They need speakers who energize their audience. They love speakers who motivate attendees to practice what they learn and eagerly share their successes with each other all year long - and at the next conference. In this wobbly economy any organization needs
- [Six Ways to Make Friends More Easily](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/06/six-ways-to-make-friends-more-easily/) - I met my high school boyfriend when I was upset and swung open my locker door so fast I banged him on the head as he was leaning into his locker. Not everyone can take such a first encounter in stride let alone retort with a grin, “If this is how you treat strangers how
- [When We Laugh Together](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/06/when-we-laugh-together/) - “Cesar Milan says that when a dog sniffs you she's gathering information. My dog is preparing an extensive dossier on me,” wrote Paula Poundstone. Humor is a way to get information about each other. How we evoke and respond to it says so much about how comfortable we are with ourselves and how flexible, open
- [To Boost Your “Game” be a Great Sidekick](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/05/to-boost-your-game-be-a-great-sidekick/) - After the Lakers’ stinging defeat to the Suns what stuck in my mind was the image of Kobe Bryant and Derek Fisher staying behind in the locker room after teammates had left to hash over what happened. The intense conversation was their singular focus. That’s a sure sign of a strong partnership. How do they
- [The Sum of Us is Greater Than One of Us…Sometimes](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/05/the-sum-of-us-is-greater-than-one-of-ussometimes/) - The sum of us can be more powerful (and fun) than one of us… sometimes. The confounding thing is exactly how we make it happen. Even when we have a strong desire to collaborate, we are likely bump up against into each other because, as in love, good intentions don't always lead to mutually satisfying behavior.
- ["Final Four" a Team Trend?](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/05/final-four-a-team-trend/) - College basketball’s “Final Four” playoffs had few superstars. Tom Davis of NBC Sports wrote, “This is being billed as the ‘No Name’ Final Four.” Michigan State coach Tom Izzo said, "The megastar that you normally seem to find in these Final Fours isn't there. I think it's refreshing that you're looking at four teams that 'team'
- ["Fight or Flight" Syndrome is Half Right](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/05/fight-or-flight-syndrome-is-half-right/) - “'There was this joke that when the women who worked in the lab were stressed, they came in, cleaned the lab, had coffee, and bonded," Dr. Laura Cousin Klein told Gale Berkowitz. "When the men were stressed, they holed up somewhere on their own. I commented one day to fellow researcher Shelley Taylor that nearly
- [The Velcro Effect of Praise and Insults](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/05/the-velcro-effect-of-praise-and-insults/) - “.. .she pointed the audience to people who were great examples of living their dreams with a very motivating and empowering attitude,” Heather Parlato wrote about Colleen Wainwright. Praising individuals in the audience is especially helpful when facing a tough crowd as I described in a comment here. Bill Clinton, at his best, is a
- [Books on How to Accomplish Greater Things With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/05/books-on-how-to-accomplish-greater-things-with-others/) - A sign of the growing popularity of all kinds of collaboration is the growing number of books on some aspect of the topic. What are your favorites? Here are some I’ve come across: Alone Together: Sociable Robots, Digitized Friends, and the Reinvention of Intimacy and Solitude by Sherry Turkle. The Big Sort: Why the Clustering
- [What’s the key to a meaningful life you can savor with others?](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/05/whats-the-key-to-a-meaningful-life-you-can-savor-with-others/) - It is the moment when people see your best side. That’s most likely to happen when you really click with a person or situation. Conversely a bad reaction can quickly spiral down into conflict, even enmity. What’s the most likely way for someone to see you at your best? It is when you bring out
- [How Others Are Living Well by Sharing](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/04/how-others-are-living-well-by-sharing/) - If you see people sneaking around a neglected lot, digging in the dirt, they may be guerrilla gardeners. Like using your cell phone to send city officials photos of potholes in the street, it’s another sign of the new wave of community-building and sharing. Other fresh signs of sharing are sliver time volunteering, co-housing, book swaps,
- [Will We Tell Others About Your Contest?](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/04/will-we-tell-others-about-your-contest/) - Last year VW launched “The Fun Theory” contest for best ideas to evoke better behavior in us. My favorite experiment, with more than a million views, is “Piano Stairs.” Does turning a set of subway stairs into a real-life piano encourage people to use them? Yes, 66% more. My second favorite : Does making a trash
- [The Forgotten First Step for Connecting](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/03/the-forgotten-first-step-for-connecting/) - While happiness books are all the rage, none begin by showing us the inescapable first step to connecting with others. Yet having social ties is the single best predictor of a longer, healthier, more satisfying life. That seemingly mundane step? Attention. When hired by Disney to observe what infants and toddlers paid the most attention
- [13 Ways to Damage Relationships](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/03/13-ways-to-damage-relationships/) - When things go wrong, we tend to blind ourselves to other’s feelings. We are more likely to fall into a destructive behavioral trap. Sadly, when we do, we cannot be empathic. We weaken that human bond that’s vital to re-grouping and resilience. These blinding mindsets make us feel dumb, powerless … and alone. (Of course
- [New Way We Can Get Cheaper Prices - Together](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/03/new-way-we-can-get-cheaper-prices-together/) - We can now pay less for some services and products we want. Venture capitalists are betting millions that we will love this approach. It’s a fresh take on group buying. Several online start-ups negotiate for their members deep discounts for products/services - provided that enough would-be buyers sign up within a limited time frame. They
- [Turn Your Book or Contest Into a Popular, Searchable Video](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/03/turn-your-book-or-contest-into-a-popular-searchable-video/) - See him passionately reading the bible on the street corner, while being videoed? Don’t avert your gaze and quickly walk around him. Take a closer look. You may be witnessing a clever method that you could adapt to drawing attention to your favorite cause, idea, product or organization both in-person and online. Here’s how. While
- [What to Do When a Friend Betrays You](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/03/what-to-do-when-a-friend-betrays-you/) - Recently two friends broke trust with me. One offered to do something that was vital to me, didn't and didn't tell me. Another shared private information about me with a stranger who then told several people who work with me. I don't know which betrayal felt worse. I do know they can be seen as
- [Four Ways We Can Make Smarter Choices](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/03/four-ways-we-can-make-smarter-choices/) - "Life is the sum of all your choices," wrote Albert Camus. Unfortunately, just as we misjudge how happy we will be in the future, we misjudge how our fear of immediate loss hampers our future options. In this game recognize how that happens and make smarter choices: Participants get $20 to place $1 bets on 20 tosses
- [More Powerfully Attracting Than Charisma](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/02/more-powerfully-attracting-than-charisma/) - “When you deeply listen and get where people are coming from, and then care about them when you’re there, they’re more likely to let you take them where you want them to go.” ~ Warren Bennis Thoughtful questions enable you to strengthen relationships. They can be disarming, breaking down barriers so you can begin to
- [Enable Others to Sell Slivers of Time Like Some Brits Do](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/02/enable-others-to-sell-slivers-of-time-like-some-brits-do/) - Share a bike, find a babysitter, make a home wireless and other needs for ad hoc services to find, rent, sell and hire could be made safer and easier for buyers and sellers with National E-Markets (NEMs). “Think Ebay writ large and better regulated.” With more opportunities for short-term work more people gain at least
- [How Groups Can Make Better Choices](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/01/how-groups-can-make-better-choices/) - If villagers living in the midst of poverty and war can be nudged to work better together with just three simple rules (honed via a parental competition study) and a reward (money, in this case) then maybe your group (team, board, committee, etc.) could too:1. The village leaders (or your project leader) are elected by secret ballot.2. The village (or your group)
- [Since Collaboration is Key for 2010 Here Are Helpful Links](https://sayitbetter.com/2010/01/since-collaboration-is-key-for-2010-here-are-helpful-links/) - Thank you Guy Kawasaki & team for placing two of my blogs on the top of your Alltop category – Collaboration - How We Partner and this blog. In celebration of this recognition I finally updated my blog roll here on Moving From Me to We.Unfortunately, whilst I posted these valuable collaboration-related links I cannot yet get them to appear. I have appealed to
- [Can You Come Out and Play?](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/12/can-you-come-out-and-play/) - Just as Daniel Gilbert discovered in Stumbling on Happiness that we aren’t adept at knowing how happy we will be in the future, Gal Zauberman and John G. Lynch found that we get it wrong about how much free time we’ll have. They dryly dub this effect, “Resource Slack.” In the future, individuals in their study accurately assumed that money would
- [What Most Matters to You Now?](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/12/what-most-matters-to-you-now/) - To jumpstart your new year in these roiling times, consider this: "When the economy tanks it's natural to think of yourself first. You have a family to feed and a mortgage to pay. Getting more appears to be the order of business. It turns out that the connected economy doesn't respect this natural instinct. Instead, we're rewarded for
- [Looking Ahead: Synchronicity as a Signal](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/12/looking-ahead-synchronicity-as-a-signal/) - Coincidences. Recently Daniel Johnson wrote about those in his life. Some were meaningful. Ironically I discovered his article by coincidence because he cited a story that involved my friend and how she met her husband at a party she had not intended to attend - in my village, Sausalito. Even today that story warms my heart and brought to
- [What Holiday Role Do You Want to Play… This Year?](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/12/what-holiday-role-do-you-want-to-play-this-year/) - Something in yesterday’s “Modern Love“ column struck me as ringing true, not only for enduring marriages but for flourishing friendships, “Being single is all about the future, about the person you’re going to meet at Starbucks or after answering the next scientific compatibility questionnaire. Being married, after a certain point, is about the past, about a steadily
- [Count Your Blessings Rather Than Your Burdens](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/11/count-your-blessings-rather-than-your-burdens/) - If you’re not feeling happy then this post can help. Did you know that more Americans are happier now than before our economy went bad? Now how does that make you feel? Stay with me though for the revelation that can lift your spirits.Everyone who claims to be happy may have some reason for finding an upside to
- [Which side of the Opportunity Chasm are You On?](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/11/which-side-of-the-opportunity-chasm-are-you-on/) - In a world that increasingly favors thinkers (vs. laborers) huge changes are happening, including these four, observes Arnold King: 1. The nature of marriage has changed: “Men & women look for complementarity in consumption rather than in production.”2. “Achievement-oriented men looking for interesting mates rather than for good maids.”3. There’s “greater inequality across households” - and that affects
- [The Best Rule for Collaboration](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/11/the-best-rule-for-collaboration/) - You don’t have to be religious to have a deep faith in the power of compassion. With it people who act and believe differently can not only work and live together in harmony they can enjoy a richer, more adventuresome life.They can collaborate. They can accomplish greater things together than they could if they just
- [The Bad Thing Your Brain Might Do When You Meet Someone New](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/10/the-bad-thing-your-brain-might-do-when-you-meet-someone-new/) - When you first glimpse someone (or something) new your brain reacts instantly, but you knew that. What’s destructive is that when you instinctively feel danger – or simply irritation - you respond quicker, longer and more intensely than if you feel safe or another positive emotion.Your negative reaction to “the new” affects you much more than a
- [Why Are Companies Ignoring Me - and Many People Like Me?](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/10/why-are-companies-ignoring-me-and-many-people-like-me/) - Does most advertising irritate you? Do you sometimes find that companies aren’t creating products for people like you? David Wolf thinks he knows why. For most of us, many (but not all) companies are out of sync with our worldview and self-image. At least for the majority of Americans, those who are 40 or older.Wolf's insights may interest you as the gap between
- [What TV Show Plot Will Get You to Volunteer?](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/10/what-tv-show-plot-will-get-you-to-volunteer/) - What do Beth Kantor and Peter Deitz think of this entertainment media + celebrity- centered campaign campaign to inspire us to volunteer? More than 100 TV programs will involve “give back” themes in their story lines.Michelle Obama kicked off the campaign.Some big non-profits gain visibility via PSAs.For the past 40 years volunteerism has been stagnant: one in four Americans volunteer. The good news is that recently, despite the bad economy, it’s
- [Don’t Just Talk, Take a Walkabout – With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/10/dont-just-talk-take-a-walkabout-with-others/) - Brisk early morning walks along the Sausalito waterfront as the sun comes up over Angel Island are somehow sweeter, when shared with a friend or three.Walking in step in the fresh air, pointing, turning – all that motion makes unexpected memories come to mind. Talk is unexpected, sometimes more candid yet one comes home refreshed,
- [Template Your Picture Book to Boost Sales – With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/10/template-your-picture-book-to-boost-sales-with-others/) - Want to be in the book, The Obama Time Capsule: World History in the Making? Any of us could be a co-author, thanks to a partnership between fellow Sausalitan, photographer and editor of "Day in the Life of..." big theme books Rick Smolan and Hewlett-Packard and Amazon.Together they enable you to place yourself (your photo, writing, video) in a point in history. More plainly in a
- [Elevate Your Value and Visibility by Jointly Offering a Speed Coaching Event](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/09/elevate-your-value-and-visibility-by-jointly-offering-a-speed-coaching-event/) - Job hunting is dispiriting - often lonely and isolating. That’s why it was so comforting for job seekers to be in a room full of knowledgeable people who were ready to meet with them, one-on-one, to answer their specific questions. From job hunt web sites to career counseling coaches could personalize their advice to each
- [How We Help Each Other Do the Right Thing...Sometimes](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/09/how-we-help-each-other-do-the-right-thingsometimes/) - Steve Jobs sparked hot debate about the rich “getting to jump to the head of the line” when he revealed that he was able to get a liver transplant in a remarkably short time. 5,771 Americans are waiting for a liver. Last year, 1,481 Americans died waiting.People’s lives could be saved simply by changing the law to an opt-out option when
- [Making Your Town Feel More Like a Community](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/09/making-your-town-feel-more-like-a-community/) - Out driving you spot a pothole or tree branch in the road. What if you could use your phone to photograph it, with the location noted via GPS, then type a quick note re the problem and forward both via an application on your phone that enables your Twitter account to route it to the right agency? That
- [How to Learn Faster and Have More Fun – With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/09/how-to-learn-faster-and-have-more-fun-with-others/) - An adept tennis player must either be in love with you or darned magnanimous to agree be your doubles partner when you play erratically - as I did. Thankfully my then-husband was both. I had great fun playing my best games with him. He never complained. It was obvious to me and to the tolerant partners
- [See the Power of Teamwork and Play - in Entertaining Ways](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/08/see-the-power-of-teamwork-and-play-in-entertaining-ways/) - Hear and see the beauty of teamwork in this gently corny video and this beautifully startling one.Then watch this contagious public dance and this huge singalong.Me to We in action can lift our spirits.
- [The Extreme Downside of Group Solidarity](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/08/the-extremely-downside-of-group-solidarity/) - When we belong to a group we gradually take stands on the extreme edge of that group’s opinions, counter-intuitively to fit in. In so doing that group becomes more extreme in its views over time. That, in a nutshell is what Cass Sunstein describes in Going to Extremes. This behavior affects diverse groups' choices including in churches, juries, elections
- [I Knew What You Meant When You Touched Me](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/08/i-knew-what-you-meant-when-you-touched-me/) - Even when blindfolded, when touched just fleetingly we often recognize the emotion behind it. Even when touched by a stranger. Those touched in the study could identify the emotion (from eight, ranging from disgust to sympathy) more often than could happen by chance. Yet they were touched just five seconds.More surprising to me, is that we are more
- [Speed Dating Studies Reveal Ways to Increase Your Likeability](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/08/speed-dating-studies-reveal-ways-to-increase-your-likeability/) - For finding love, a job or customers, speed-based events are increasingly popular with some people. They seem so efficient. And, if you’re on the hunt you probably want to be attractive to others. Then you may want to know the results of these speed dating studies. Hint: Who’s on the move? • Regardless of gender,
- [Comfortable Way to Learn Faster - Together](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/08/comfortable-way-to-learn-faster-together/) - As a kid I spent much of one summer, sitting on the curb in front of my home, watching Mike, the cute boy across the street, riding his bike in daring ramp jumps in his driveway. (My "surprise" bike wouldn't arrive until my birthday). Then Mike would speed out onto the street, closer to me,
- [Great Workshop Involver for Gauging Audience Upfront](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/07/great-workshop-involver-for-gauging-audience-upfront/) - Leading a small workshop? Like to find out, upfront, how much they already know? Or how they feel about your topic? Try a fun, audience involver called the Spectrogram. This exercise also helps them feel heard, learn a bit about each other and get closer. Plus it is simple to set up and to do
- [“We the People” - Quotes Celebrating Our Interdependence This Independence Day](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/07/we-the-people-quotes-celebrating-our-interdependence-this-independence-day/) - "We live in the age of interdependence. Borders don't count for much or stop much, good or bad, anymore ~ Bill ClintonOne person didn’t cause it. Like most great events Independence Day happened because people came together around an idea greater than any single individual. Within that revolutionary declaration of how these united states should be
- ["If I'm going to rely on you...](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/06/if-im-going-to-rely-on-you/) - ... then as we stay in touch on meaningless things, we can eventually work effectively together," John T. Cacioppo says, observing what is happening with the daily tidbits of news we get about each other via Facebook and Twitter. Ironically, reading online about each other's daily life means, for some including Julia Angwin, that they can dive into a "deeper conversation" when they
- [Six Profitable Ways To Teach Groups What You Know](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/06/six-profitable-ways-to-teach-groups-what-you-know/) - If a coffee shop owner and a former minister can make money by leading groups then, perhaps, so can you and I. In the following success stories see if there’s a method you’d like to try. With the right approach people are happy to pay you for the opportunity to hone a skill they already have
- [Twittering Comedy Club Demonstrates You Can Tweet to Serve Your Customers](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/06/twittering-comedy-club-demonstrates-you-can-tweet-to-serve-your-customers/) - Instead of standing on a stage, one comedian at a time, humorists were leaning over their computers, waiting with bated breath for quirky Brit Tiernan Douieb to say “Go!” In this Twitter Comedy Club experiment, drawing a crowd of 6,000 each comedian had a 10 minute act. They madly delivered their best lines in 140-characters, one after the other.
- [How to Take Care of Your Team So They Take Care of You](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/06/how-to-take-care-of-your-team-so-they-take-care-of-you/) - Joe Lee was sitting at a table, rapidly counting rain jackets in a small room somewhere above the sumptuous lobby of the Jamaican hotel where I was to speak at a corporate conference the next morning. I did not know who he was then, although he looked familiar. I was just told that the man
- [Grow a Popular and Profitable Online Community](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/05/grow-a-popular-and-profitable-online-community/) - Want to make a living by hosting an online community? See this thorough post on exactly how Motley Fool creates multiple ways for amateur investors to help each other make smarter choices. Because the process and results are transparent you can see credible comparisons. That’s a trust-building feature for attracting members to any community. Denis Hancock describes how they evoked this Wisdom of Crowds effect to grow a profitable
- [Disagree? How to Keep Talking Instead of Arguing](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/05/disagree-how-to-keep-talking-instead-of-arguing/) - He takes a stupid stand. (Translation: he hit my hot button.) My first response is to dislike him. (Apparently that’s a universal reaction.) My distaste shows on my face and in my tone, despite my attempt to cover my feelings in a cloak of civility. Even friends or sympathetic bystanders take a psychic step back. Naturally
- [Getting Along With People Who Don’t Act Right Like You](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/05/getting-along-with-people-who-dont-act-right-like-you/) - In Star Trek two heroes in-the-making, one impulsively intuitive, the other straining to be rational, recognize they can learn from each other. So can women and men. How do you react in a hot situation?"A thought comes when it will, not when I will," wrote Nietzsche. Emotions are learned shortcuts for deciding, based on experience. In an argument culture we have many cues
- [How Humorless People Affect Us](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/05/how-humorless-people-affect-us/) - Like scent, humor has extremely offensive or captivating effects on us, depending on the kind. In the past two posts I described two kinds, unifying and divisive. The third is humorless. Are you? Frank Tyger suggest that, "The ultimate test of whether you posses a sense of humor is your reaction when someone tells you you
- [Use Humor to Defuse Tension, Befriend and Have More Fun](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/04/use-humor-to-defuse-tension-befriend-and-have-more-fun/) - Humor requires a target. If you make a bulls-eye out of someone weaker, particularly if you initiate the attack, you look like a bully. Take aim, instead, at the powerful. Or, rather than getting upset, consider yourself lucky when someone makes you a target first. Because, as Isaac Asimov observed, “For a humane person, the put-down is
- [Your Key Skill to Thriving in an Uncertain World](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/04/your-key-skill-to-thriving-in-an-uncertain-world/) - The shocking moment for rising stars is when they meet someone who’s rising faster. For some of us this happens in fourth grade, for others it’s in college or on a job. The good news is that you’ve still got a way to get ahead. Even now. And it’s more fun. Hear how in my
- [“If You Were in Trouble…](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/04/if-you-were-in-trouble/) - … do you have relatives or friends you can count on to help you whenever you need them?” That’s one question in Gallup’s recent poll of 140 countries. It turns out that the wealthier and more stable your country the more likely it is that you have friends to whom you can turn. (Guess which country tops the list,
- [Where Does Your Kind of Humor Get You With Others?](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/04/where-does-your-kind-of-humor-get-you-with-others/) - “Wall Street swindler Bernie Madoff failed to protect his assets with a bankruptcy motion. His lawyer tried to get all charges dropped. He argued that Madoff is no longer a threat to society because there aren't any rich people anymore,” writes Argus Hamilton in jest.Here’s two more mock news items from Argus:“Earth Day is a day when
- [Co-sponsor a Contest That Enables Customers to Improve Their Lives](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/04/co-sponsor-a-contest-that-enables-customers-to-improve-their-lives/) - After seeing her grandma struggling to hold heavy pans, Celia Gates recruited an inventor as a mentor then designed ergonomic pans. Kayley Vincent and Jennifer Land created a cookbook that turned local business owners into foodie stars - and turned a profit for them. With churchgoers’ support, Henry Pearce raised money by donning a 1920s bathing suit. What sparked their entrepreneurial
- [Profitable Way to Leverage Your Talents & Resources With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/04/profitable-way-to-leverage-your-talents-resources-with-others/) - Help Others Earn Extra CashLaunch a business or adapt yours to enable others to squeeze money out of idle resources – especially ones they did not know could generate income. As the economy continues to wobble you’ll see more businesses that serve this growing need.Just today one such business got modest funding - for that reason. Got some spare space? Then why
- [A Real Reality Show (What Are You Checking Off Your List Before You Die?)](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/04/a-real-reality-show-what-are-you-checking-off-your-list-before-you-die/) - Four college-age Canadians’ bus broke down in here in Sausalito last year so they continued their campaign here – to inspire others to create their Top 100 things list: A part of their credo: For every item they complete on their list, they help a stranger achieve one of their dreams. These childhood friends’ camaraderie, plan and sense of purpose (three great Me2We traits) have pulled others into their slipstream including my friend Jan
- [Why Burnish Our Brands Together?](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/04/why-burnish-our-brands-together/) - In our increasingly connected world, everyone must manage “the brand called you” announced Tom Peters years ago. Reluctant to see yourself this way? Your impetus can be to protect your reputation. The upside motivation to think of self-branding, however, is to attract the people and opportunities that help make your life the kind of adventure story you want
- [“Buy Local” Isn’t Enough: How to Adapt Delish’s Customer-Attracting Method to Your Local Business](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/04/buy-local-isnt-enough-how-to-adapt-delishs-customer-attracting-method-to-your-local-business/) - “Buy local and keep the money in our community” cry many local retailers and restaurateurs. Yet guilt is not the top motivator to inspire spending - unless you're a nearby farmer. Saving money is top-of-mind for us as consumers. Instead, offer greater value and convenience. Also generate more local visibility without spending more. That’s what the online food site, Delish is doing, in
- [A Bountiful Life Isn’t a Zero-Sum Game](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/04/a-bountiful-life-isnt-a-zero-sum-game/) - Perhaps the most gratifying way to hone one’s talent is to use it in support of someone who is diligently working on a dream project. Those who work hard on something new tend to appreciate unexpected help. We learn the most when creating or explaining. Early in his life as an entrepreneur and serial investor Brad
- [Turn Towards That Stranger and Smile](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/04/turn-towards-that-stranger-and-smile/) - I admit it. Many times I avert my gaze when walking down gritty Market Street in S.F. Yet - from the talking pay phone to the crying hydrant - this anthropomorphic, animated short film made me re-think my habit. We are strangers to each other, trapsing swiftly down the street, looking in the middle distance as we pass. The
- [Get Micro-Payments for Tagging Products in Photos…](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/03/get-micro-payments-for-tagging-products-in-photos/) - … to identify those products for site visitors to then click and buy. That’s the mutually-profitable crowdsourcing angle for us and for Pixazza, a start-up that generated buzz because of support from Google Ventures. This tool may be especially hot for publishers of celebrity/gossip-style sites such as I’m Not Obsessed! which has been using the technology. Stephan Shankland calls Pixazza, “a photo-based version of Google's AdSense.” That service, as many of you know, matches text
- [Lift Your Spirits and Profits – With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/03/lift-your-spirits-and-profits-with-others/) - Hear how to accomplish greater things by working well with others – even in this down economy. Get upbeat, news-you-can-use tips from the Me2We-style experts Zane Safrit is interviewing. They include Greater Than Yourself author Steve Farber, The Culture of Collaboration author Evan Rosen, Boomtown USA blogger Jack Schultz, Unveiling the Heart of Business author Mark Silver and, well, me.
- [Obama Demos Tool That Let's Us Choose Questions to Answer at an Event](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/03/obama-demos-tool-that-lets-us-choose-questions-to-answer-at-an-event/) - Anyone seeking more meeting participation may be discovering new ways by attending Obama-led town hall meetings. Some opinion leaders find Obama’s inferred endorsement of google tools jarring. Yet the three he’s using would be helpful to most any event planner, cause advocate, online entrepreneur or global team leader. They are free, easy to use and scalable: AppEngine (a platform), Google Moderator (a tool to vote on which questions should be asked)
- [They Succeeded by Attracting Other’s Participation, And You Can Too](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/03/they-succeeded-by-attracting-others-participation-and-you-can-too/) - Grow your business faster by finding the sweet spot of mutual benefit that motivates others to support your success. Peruse 135 real-life examples to find one to adapt to your kind of work. From customer-designed products to near-instant group help during a crisis to sharing self-tracked health results to requesting user-created demos - discover fresh ways to reward
- [Way Down in the Hole by Himself](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/03/way-down-in-the-hole-by-himself/) - What’s the difference between solitary confinement and torture? Atul Gawande, a doctor and popular medical essayist writes of one prisoner who thought time in the hole would be “a piece of cake.”“After a few months without regular social contact, however, his experience proved no different from that of the P.O.W.s or hostages, or the majority of isolated prisoners whom researchers have
- [How Exhibitors and Speakers Can Profitably Partner](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/03/how-exhibitors-and-speakers-can-profitably-partner/) - Exhibitors: here’s a surefire way to attract more warmed-up prospects to your booth, learn about their needs and bond with them as a festive part of the conference. As a speaker, I’ve forged value-building alliances with exhibitors that you can adapt to your kind of exhibiting. “Make Every Moment Count” is the title of a
- [Start a Twitter-Based Business or Twitter to Sell More: 5 Success Stories](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/03/start-a-twitter-based-business-or-twitter-to-sell-more-5-success-stories/) - Choose where to live by asking locals about their neighborhood. Listen in on their conversations or jump in and ask their advice - from wherever you are. That’s what Eric Wu promises renters with his online site that combines the online sharing and conversational powers of a wiki and Twitter. RentWiki. Get a feel of the neighborhood beyond what
- [Opportunity Makers Are the True Leaders in a Flattening World](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/03/opportunity-makers-are-the-true-leaders-in-a-flattening-world/) - Other than your best talent your most vital trait is the capacity to collaborate – especially with people extremely unlike you. That's the great leverager of value. Many people – even some social media advocates - still hew to the Leaders/Followers model for work and social life. Yet those most likely to succeed and savor their lives in this flattening world
- [The Rise of the Rest](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/03/the-rise-of-the-rest/) - What's ahead for us? See this "presentation zen"-style global trends video from the Futures Group. It covers trends first described by Fareed Zacharia in his column and book. Teasers:• In ten years the number one English-speaking country will be …• By 2010, Africa’s largest trading partner will be …That thought-provoking primer may tempt you to see their two other videos -The Big Little Economy and
- [Self-Tracking Could Save Your Life or Make it More Fun With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/03/self-tracking-could-save-your-life-or-make-it-more-fun-with-others/) - Michael J. Fox and Google are joining forces to take a “search” approach to discovering who’s most likely to get Parkinson’s – and you can participate. Be one of the first 10,000 to sign up and get your genomic “map” – your data for just $25 instead of $400. Your test will be done by 23andMe. Co-founder Ann Wojcicki
- [Who Knows Your Secrets? How Did They Find Out?](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/03/who-knows-your-secrets-how-did-they-find-out/) - Not standing behind the bushes. Spying online, of course. Dan Tynan explains, “online stalking made easy.” Then JR Rafael elaborates on how people search engines “know your dark secrets.” As Spokeo CEO Harrison Tang knows first-hand, "Even though most people think the size of the Web is basically the Google crawl index, there's actually a lot of information that Google doesn't crawl."
- [Now You Can Help Stop Censorship…](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/03/now-you-can-help-stop-censorship/) - ... and, in some cases, save lives. Report Websites that appear to be blocked from access at Herdict. That’s the new tool launched by the Berkman Center for Internet & Society at Harvard.In true crowdsourcing spirit Herdict is a combination of “herd” and “verdict.” Anyone with access to the Internet can help put global pressure on governments that attempt to censure news and information. The brain behind thissite is
- [When you see a photo of someone it takes just a tenth of a second…](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/03/when-you-see-a-photo-of-someone-takes-just-a-tenth-of-a-second/) - … to decide whether you like or trust the person, say researchers. Snap judgments happen without conscious thought. Yet another part of the study has scarier implications for forging relationships. When participants were given more time to describe their reactions they were: • Slightly more negative than those given less time. • More certain that they were
- [Why it Helps Us to Cheer Up Sooner Rather Than Later](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/03/why-it-helps-us-to-cheer-up-sooner-rather-than-later/) - Almost two-thirds of Americans are suffering from the economic recession, according to a recent Gallup poll. Well, yes. Worse yet is the mood contagion effect. We instinctively spread and reinforce the fear we feel. It’s our pack mentality. We quickly check the situation for danger. We don't listen to words. We don't believe "controlled" facial expressions. Our primal knowing cuts through
- [The Ultimatum Game: How to Make the Smartest Deal](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/02/the-ultimatum-game-how-to-make-the-smartest-deal/) - “Let’s say you’re handed $10 and told you can split it any way you like between you and another person…” starts the Ultimatum Game. (Warning: high testosterone men are most likely to act irrationally.) Since we consumers don’t always choose rationally, such “real life” tests are useful indicators of what we’ll actually do. They’re used by HP experiential economist Kay-Yut Chen, for
- [Make More Money: Your Product as an Association’s Member Benefit](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/02/make-more-money-your-product-as-an-associations-member-benefit/) - Attract more sales by adapting this success story to your situation. Image theft online is the hot button for photographers. It’s the main reason they are loath to post their images on the net. Yet that’s the most efficient way to sell images. As of this week, through their membership in the National Press Photographers Association, for a reduced fee they can track their images online
- [How to Make Wiser Choices](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/02/how-to-make-wiser-choices/) - Avoid the Confirming-Evidence Trap We tend to see what we want to see, and are blind to the rest of the picture. This trap leads us to seek out information to support our existing point of view while avoiding information that contradicts it. This bias not only affects where we go to collect evidence to
- [How to Feel Up in a Down Economy](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/02/how-to-feel-up-in-a-down-economy/) - Only the loony disregard this crashing economy. Yet the prudent recognize it’s vital now to practice resilience, even virtue. It helps to be near friends who feel the same. (Who lifts your spirits?) So it also helps to know that we’re born with a set point for happiness.The good news is that set point “determines just 50% of happiness.
- [Template Your Business to Increase Profits Via Others’ Success With It](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/02/templetize-your-business-increase-profits-through-others-success-with-it/) - Ugandan women sell health, using the Avon ladies’ approach. Yes, door-to-door outreach looks different in villages than in American suburbs. But a template leverages profits faster for them, and for you. The same woman-to-woman franchise that sold creams and make-up in the U.S. is selling preventive know-how to stop malaria, diarrhea and TB. They have over 200 health promoters/agent and hope to double the
- [Speak to the Sweet Spot of Mutual Benefit to Spark Profitable Partnerships](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/02/speak-to-the-sweet-spot-of-mutual-benefit-to-spark-profitable-partnerships/) - Wary of partnering? Collaborated with someone who didn’t do their part? Yet in a sinking economy more people are exploring ways to attract more customers without spending more. Partnering – with the right allies and methods – seems to be the most efficient way. Want to hear what’s worked and the pitfalls to avoid? Hear Anita Campbell's bluntly
- [Trick Your Brain Into Making Smarter Choices](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/02/trick-your-brain-into-making-smarter-choices/) - The brain has limited bandwidth for making decisions, found On Amir. Spend too much time making one decision, however mundane, and you're worse at making the next decisions. Further we often feel overwhelmed by too many options and are not satisfied when we finally choose, Barry Schwartz discovered. (Hint: to get more customers to buy, offer three vividly clear options, one low-cost, one
- [Check Your Phone to Locate Who's Nearby You Know](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/02/check-your-phone-to-locate-whos-nearby-you-know/) - That's what Loopt founder, Sam Ashton did at the huge Consumer Electronics Show. How? Like his contacts he used Loopt to make his whereabouts known. Find friends out shopping on a nearby street or out dining at a restaurant in the same neighborhood. Willing to lose locational privacy to find selected friends or colleagues? Increasingly people are –and this may be somewhat age-related. Brave ones like Ben Hoffman, are using it to find
- [How Pink Underwear Becomes Potent Symbol of Protest](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/02/how-pink-underwear-becomes-the-symbol-for-womens-protest/) - When women and men were beat up in a Mangalore pub for “violating traditional Indian values” some decried it as “Talibanisation of India.” Thousands have seen the video. Yet even the National Commission for Women there, also condemned “the loosening of moral standards amongst young women.”To galvanize action against the right wing Hindu group that backs such incidents, journalist Nisha Susan involved bloggers to ask
- [Failing Forward is a Vital Mindset for Us in a Down Economy](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/02/failing-forward-is-a-vital-mindset-for-us-in-a-down-economy/) - “People we see as happy usually have a way to measure failure.” Failure was the topic at Ben Casnocha and Chris Yeh’s junto I was unable to attend. Another observation from that junto: “Introspection produces wisdom. Success doesn’tproduce introspection.” Such people have what Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck calls a fixed mindset. They see intelligence as pre-determined, unchangeable: bright people are born, not made. They hone a single expertise
- [Five Profitable Ways to Collaborate](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/02/five-profitable-ways-to-collaborate/) - Be an opportunity maker - for and with others. Become invaluable in this time-starved, information-glutted and transient world by speaking to the sweet spot of mutual opportunity. If you're in the San Francisco Bay Area, consider attending a morning seminar I am leading for the San Francisco chapter of IABC, thanks to the remarkable transplanted Brit, Alison Harrison. (It was such fun at
- [Business Partnering: Earn Money Without Wasting Everyone's Time](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/02/business-partnering-earn-money-without-wasting-everyones-time/) - Want to attract more customers while spending less? Hear Anita Campbell of Small Business Trends Radio interview me on February 17th. As an avid fan of Anita’s writing and thought leadership I am honored to be on her show. Other interviews I recommend are of Birthing the Elephant author Karin Abarbanel, Toilet Paper Entrepreneur author Michael Michalowicz and Laurel Delaney of The Global
- [Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/02/act-like-a-lady-think-like-a-man/) - Women are “leaving the door open for a guy to get away with something…Here's what's happened over the years,” says comic and radio host Steve Harvey. “Women's standards and requirements have lowered over the years. And as men, we know that. We have taken advantage of it. We've created terms that we feed to women that
- [“The key to making it through the awful, scary parts of life …](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/02/the-key-to-making-it-through-the-awful-scary-parts-of-life/) - … is to have someone to “stand by you”, writes empathic Pamela Slim. Here are two of her Me2We suggestions for pulling yourself through hard times by involving others.1. “Don't try to do everything yourself. Do you have great ideas, but are a bit challenged getting them off the ground? Now is an excellent time to look in your extended circle
- [Is Gladwell Right About What’s Most Likely to Make You Successful?](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/01/is-gladwell-right-about-whats-most-likely-to-make-you-successful/) - It took me awhile to finally decide to write this post as it runs against the tide of most readers' opinions. And many feel strongly as I discovered at dinner last night with friends, but here goes. Outliers purports to reveal the real reason some people — like Bill Joy, the Beatles and Bill Gates— are successful.
- [Sayings for Making Life Meaningful – With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/01/sayings-for-making-life-meaningful-with-others/) - Here’s to living a greater life and accomplishing greater things together than we can on our own: “It is only through disruptions and confusion that we grow, jarred out of ourselves by the collision of someone else's private world with our own. “ ~ Joyce Carol Oates “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to
- [Build Strong Teams the Obama Way](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/01/build-strong-teams-the-obama-way/) - We can be stakeholders in the future of the U.S., not free-riders. We are called to participate in its renewal. Not only can we do what is asked but we’re being asked what should be done. In true Me2We style Obama keeps assuming that you and I can recruit teams of rivals (and participate in other teams) to get greater things done better – together. Why not try these team-building behaviors in your social, civic or work life now? Here's six keys
- [New Peer2Peer Ways to Rent and Save Money](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/01/new-peer2peer-ways-to-rent-and-save-money/) - Rent a spare room or a couch to frugal travelers. A backyard can become a mini-camp ground in Sweden. To preserve cash in this bad economy many of us will rent. That's why peer2peer renting is getting popular. From lawn edgers to bands you can now Hire Things in New Zealand or, in Britain and U.S., from Zilok. What do you need temporarily? What have you got to rent? There are more upsides to renting for us. Like the successful private parking and coworking
- [What Comes After Yes We Can?](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/01/what-comes-after-yes-we-can/) - Renew America, the new Obama-backed campaign asks us to step up and volunteer at a time when many are stepping down into living on less. For many, that’s much less. As a former Obama campaign staffer I suggest starting small and sticking to it – but tackling something more than buying a T-shirt. The manager of our local food bank took the time to understand the
- [Death by Committee: Funny When Happening to Someone Else](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/01/death-by-committee-funny-when-happening-to-someone-else/) - Here’s a hilarious yet painfully familiar “how (not) to” video - especially for creative consultants. You’ve been hired by a team. Then you discover they have not agreed on a top goal for the project; nor do they have rules of engagement for their group decisionmaking process. And it goes downhill from there. Simply “Stop” already. There are many ways to forge agile, convivial teams yet
- [Atlantic Magazine Wants Our Smart Answers to Provocative Questions](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/01/atlantic-magazine-wants-our-smart-answers-to-provocative-questions/) - As the thinking person’s magazine Atlantic decided to ask readers to Think Again. In seeking The Wisdom of the Crowds, they invite anyone to answer questions raised by their superlative writers. (Now that’s a smart way to start conversations about the magazine, online and in-person.) So far here are some of the questions:• Is Porn Adultery?• Was God an Accident?• Why Are Campaign Commercials So Bad? • What's
- [Keep Clients From Leaving in a Dire Economy](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/01/keep-clients-from-leaving-in-a-dire-economy/) - Your customers are tempted to include your business in their cost-cutting efforts. Act now to offer extra value, adopting a method that won't cost you more. In fact, it often reduces overhead. Two rival businesses are using it. The Baltimore Sun and the Washington Post will offer their readers stories from both papers. The Sun will "tap the Post's federal government
- [New TV Show Spotlights Do it Yourselfers – Like You](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/01/new-tv-show-spotlights-do-it-yourselfers-like-you/) - Have you adapted some object to better suit your purposes? Would your invention delight and inspire others? Get featured on TV, via computer and in a magazine, thanks to a new Me2We joint venture. Make magazine invited American Public Television and Twin Cities Public Television to join them in launching “Makers.” Half-hour TV episodes, in
- [Shop Smarter in 2009, One Way to Do So](https://sayitbetter.com/2009/01/shop-smarter-in-2009-one-way-to-do-so/) - Most of us will spend less in 2009. Much less. And use coupons. Many will seek reliable recommendations when we do. If that’s true for you, check out this service. Ever see something a friend bought and want to get it too? Before you buy something online, see reviews from others in a trusted online community. If you are proud of what you
- [Make Wiser Choices, Stronger Friendships and More Opportunity by Visualizing Your Circles of Connection](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/12/make-wiser-choices-stronger-friendships-and-more-opportunity-by-visualizing-your-circles-of-connection/) - When meeting Natasha, photographer Rick Smolan never imagined she’d be an emotional thread of continuity for his life. Human stories take unexpected turns, especially next year. I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine. That’s a mighty welcome feeling as we enter 2009. Why? Because, more than any of the last 25 years, 2009 will crackle with change, unexpected loss and fresh opportunities to
- [Be Our Leader When That Crisis Hits Next Year](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/12/be-our-leader-when-that-crisis-hits-next-year/) - I was born lucky. At the “up” end of Marty Seligman’s pessimistic/ optimistic temperament continuum. Yet this is my dire prediction for 2009 plus a bit of advice. In this volatile time, the Law of Unintended Consequences will strike repeatedly – in unexpected places. Organizations will need to act quickly but most – large and small – will be unprepared. Unfortunately, most will react. That’s inevitable as your local and our global economy continues
- [Spreading Joy Isn’t Just a First-Hand Experience](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/12/spreading-joy-isnt-just-a-first-hand-experience/) - The sweet scent of the narcissus plant wafts upstairs to me just like the lingering memory of my uphill neighbors, an always upbeat Irish couple in their early eighties. Stopping off on their daily walk, they knocked on my door early this morning to deliver the plant, their holiday gift, knowing I would be up
- [How We Can Improve Our GPS Maps](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/12/how-we-can-improve-our-gps-maps/) - Motorists in St. Louis helped each other in a novel way when road construction made driving difficult. Other drivers found their street was in the wrong place on their personal navigation devices? If you use TomTom you can improve their GPS-based maps. Earlier this year the firm launched MapShare. Now the user community can fix and update their maps.When will Garmin also open its maps to crowdsourcing improvements? (How could you
- [Imitation is a Big Step Towards LikeAbility](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/12/imitation-is-a-big-step-towards-likeability/) - More than we are consciously aware, we instinctively imitate one another. When around each other we synchronize our body movements, speaking styles and facial expressions. There’s an automaticity to our reactions. But why? Many scientists believe it’s because of our desire to be liked, included in the group. And, at a more primitive level, to survive. Thus our ability to mimic isvital to our capacity to
- [We Will Not Fight This Holiday](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/12/we-will-not-fight-this-holiday/) - Rather than a fake-friendly question to highlight his ignorance, a sarcastic retort, shouting or silently seething - try alleviating the friction that’s at the core of the conflict. I’m not saying it’s easy. Yet unsettled resentments usually cause two-way sabotage, in the moment and in the future, so it is worth trying something different to save
- [“How many friends do you have?”](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/12/how-many-friends-do-you-have/) - What kind are they? How important? As pundits discuss Obama’s frenemies, these questions probe the other side of our psyche. UK sociologists Ray Pahl and Liz Spencer asked them in a study that led to a book, Re-Thinking Friendship. Updating a theme in Bowling Alone, they discovered:• The average Briton has 18 friends.• Men were less likely to expect to
- [Working Closer in a Collapsing Economy](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/12/working-closer-in-a-collapsing-economy/) - "Even people who are antisocial feel a need to be around other people for at least part of the day while they're working," says researcher Laura Forlano. That’s why soloists bootstrapped into being a co-working space in Austin called Conjunctured. Working elbow to elbow around a table or in separate offices often means you are more likely to help each other than those who work alone, they found.
- [Co-Create Short Films of Holiday Gatherings](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/12/co-create-short-films-of-holiday-gatherings/) - Some people duct-tape small cameras to their dogs’ collars to see life from another perspective. (Dog is their co-pilot) Yet you can enlist human friends to co-cover the scenes of your lives. AmericanWinery, for example, sent Flip video cameras to their winery partners, inviting them to record “daily operations, tastings, harvest footage” and other glimpses at the back stories behind wine lovers’ favorite
- [Storyboard Your Way to Being a Sought-after Spokesperson](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/12/storyboard-your-way-to-being-a-sought-after-spokesperson/) - Attract a crowd to your event or brand by giving them bragging rights. Vicki Smith creates a post-event storyboarding experience where enthusiasts see almost moment-by-moment coverage of motorcycle events featuring the elegant Ducatis - in a captioned sequence of photos. In short, what she dubs a “photo web story" is designed to tell the story of the event or weekend. More importantly it lets people that didn't attend feel
- [Told You Look Tired -  But You Aren’t?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/told-you-look-tired-but-you-arent/) - To look rested fix your drooping eyelids. More than any other facial plastic surgery that change will make you look more rested. Not for you? Override that perception with a smile. A genuine smile transforms one’s face. Per Guillaume Duchenne and Paul Ekman, that is one where the corners of your mouth turn up, your cheeks lift and crows-feet wrinkles appear around the eyes. Just
- [Listening is an Act of Love](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/listening-is-an-act-of-love/) - A bus driver guides the elderly woman off the bus to an unfamiliar restaurant where she’s meeting friends, then hears her tell him why that day and his help touched her. A teenager confesses her cutting became addictive and how her love of her mother and best friend helps her get by. Over 23,000 people have sat down
- [“How much you groom somebody else …](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/how-much-you-groom-somebody-else/) - … is more important than who grooms you,” observed Stanford biologist, Robert Sapolsky. He studies baboons, humans, group behavior and stress. “Social support is vital, no matter how healthy you are.” Suggests psychology professor Dacher Keltner, “Human beings are wired to care and give and it’s probably our best route to happiness.”Literally see how we look when we connect well with each other in Keltner’s book due
- [What’s Your Blog’s Personality? Find Out Quickly](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/whats-your-blogs-personality-find-out-quickly/) - You may recall your Myers-Briggs type. Now, via Typealyzer, discover your blog’s personality type. Find out in seconds – complete with a description and diagam of your blog’s type. As an INTJ (if I remember right) I somehow write an ISTJ (Duty Fulfiller) blog - just like Mark Cuban. Those results may surprise my friends and the SEC. My other blog is typed as an INTJ (Scientist). I
- [Be More Valuable By Increasing Your Mental Ambidexterity](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/be-more-valuable-by-increasing-your-mental-ambidexterity/) - In a bad economy don’t be blind to opportunities. Use your limited resources well. Savor your work with others. Hackneyed advice? Yes. Yet you can increase your chances for all three by hiring, partnering or otherwise collaborating with people who, like Leonardo Da Vinci, “cultivate ambidexterity.” They use their whole mind. They are often outliers.Such multi-talented people are innately oriented towards cross-training. Fewer people (who are ambidexterous) can do more
- [Beyond the Sharks: Make Your Class Come Alive With YouTube Vignettes](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/beyond-the-sharks-make-your-class-come-alive-with-youtube-vignettes/) - Shark and dolphin stories grab students’ interest but attention wanes when it comes to sponges, mollusks, starfish and their kin. A marine biology professor in Maine learned from his son on how to keep his students involved. A lesson that any teacher - or trainer, coach or speaker - could adapt. The Me2We part is that this approach involves showcasing the best work
- [Learn Faster.  Be in a Class of One.  Or Teach and Make Money.](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/learn-faster-be-in-a-class-of-one-or-teach-and-make-money/) - Imagine learning a new language or about another culture – and get the full attention of a great teacher you chose? You could take or teach the one-to-one class online from your home. For the first time would-be students and teachers can find each other for free through Myngle. The online community and support tools to teach or take a class online are free.
- [Ways We Are Smarter Together (Success Stories Covered So Far)](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/ways-we-are-smarter-together-success-stories-covered-so-far/) - Get unstuck. Hear how others have done something remarkable together - something they could not have accomplished on their own. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find a method you can adapt to your situation. Make Your Next Conference More Participatory How to Give Away Others’ Products to Make Money Nine Ways to Create More Success Via Partnering Enlarge Your World.
- [A Gradeschooler Changes How Kids Give](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/a-gradeschooler-changes-how-kids-give/) - Eighth grader, Talia Leman recruited other kids to trick-or-treat for coins for Katrina victims. After appearing on The Today Show she raised $10 million. Next step? Make it scalable. Like any social entrepreneur, she found a complementary partner to help other students replicate her success. At her site Random Kid young people can organize their own campaigns for a favorite cause. Enabling others to evoke
- [Become an “amateur animator.”  See your creation …](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/become-an-amateur-animator-see-your-creation/) - … on a big screen in a theatre – as part of a short-film before the feature movie. For the first time anyone can create an animated cut on their computer with tools provided by Intel, Facebook, Dell and others in this Mass Animation project launched today. The crowd votes on submissions. Winners get moments of fame via on-screen credit and $500. 5,586 people have already signed up.At
- [We Do Better Together –  Books That Show Us How](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/we-do-better-together-books-that-show-us-how/) - I started this blog soon after The Age of Engagement morphed into a flood of ideas on how “we” can accomplish more together. Here are the books I've mentioned and authors I have interviewed. Crowdsourcing (Jeff Howe), Here Comes Everybody Clay Shirky), groundswell (Charlene Li), Emergence (Steven Johnson), Six Degrees (Duncan Watts), Herd (Mark Earls) Pull (Pamela Walker Laird), Wikinomics (Don Tapscott), Culture of Collaboration (Evan Rosen), Kindness in a Cruel World (Nigel Barber), Cultural Creatives (Sherry Anderson and Paul Ray), The
- [Quick Tour of Ways to Accomplish More – With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/quick-tour-of-ways-to-accomplish-more-with-others/) - From Jake, the wine bar owner to free samples provider, Aliza Freud, individuals are collaborating on ways to tap the collective intelligence. They become more successful and savor their work - with others. Avoid GroupThink. Adapt one of their methods to your situation. Visit Elance, crowdSPRING and elsewhere to ask the crowd for help. Try
- [What Does Compassion Mean to You?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/what-does-compassion-mean-to-you/) - Don’t talk about sex, politics or religion. Remember that advice? What happens now that Muslims, Jews and Christians and others around the world are invited to contribute to a Charter for Compassion? To collaborate and come to group decisions. Aided by social media tools. No anonymity for nasty comments. Instead, around the world people can speak up and stand behind their insight for compassion
- [“The Iraq War is Over”](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/the-iraq-war-is-over/) - Today many New Yorkers were given the faux-copies of The New York Times with that banner headline. Other stories concocted by this liberal cadre of volunteers announced that universities would now be free to attend, ex-secretary apologizes for W.M.D scare and Thomas Friedman was resigning. Even the ads are fake. Unlike the Onion, the issue
- [Five Obama Campaign Lessons For How We Can Thrive](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/five-obama-campaign-lessons-for-how-we-can-thrive/) - Former Medronic chair and True North author, Bill George believes companies and non-profits thrive by adopting the “we” approach that enabled Obama to win. (Working on the campaign I know, first-hand, how powerfully efficient and satisfying such “we” experiences can be.) George offers these lessons, with my headlines: • Place to Participate Obama created a
- [“I may seem like a boring pundit …](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/i-may-seem-like-a-boring-pundit/) - …whose most exotic fantasies involve G.A.O. reports, but deep down, I have dreams,” wrote David Brooks. In his column, he delivered the money quote of the week for me: “Walking into the Obama White House of my dreams will be like walking into the Gates Foundation. The people there will be ostentatiously pragmatic and data-driven. They’ll hunt
- [Don’t look away (as we instinctively do)](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/dont-look-away-as-we-instinctively-do/) - What do I mean? See this very short Me2We-style story shot by Jason van Genderen. On his cell phone video camera.
- [Unfair! Revenge. How Women and Men Act](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/unfair-revenge-how-women-and-men-act/) - Neuroscientist, Tania Singer and her team recruited volunteers to play a game. Some were asked to play by the rules. Others were instructed to ignore them. To not play fair. After all participants played the game together, they were then asked to observe each other in a second activity. Scientists measured some of the volunteers’ brain activity
- [Got Expertise?  Want a Livelihood, Sharing it With Others?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/11/got-expertise-want-a-livelihood-sharing-it-with-others/) - For nine years Jake ran a lively, lucrative downtown wine bar. From movie-themed “Nights of Flights” wine tastings to cash flow-by-month analysis he knew his business inside out. But he got tired of managing people. He wanted a change. One that would leverage all that he’d learned. Sound familiar? So he did a very smart thing. He launched
- [Hear How That Foreign Word is Pronounced](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/10/hear-how-that-foreign-word-is-pronounced/) - From cinema to cities to sports, from places to people, hear how words and names are pronounced in their native tongue. In other words, “avoid the faux pas of mispronouncing the phrase ‘faux pas’” advises Finding Dulcinea. Also help others hear words in your language by participating in this ambitious Me2We-style start-up project called Forvo.
- [We Can Help Make Sure Every Vote is Counted](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/10/we-can-help-make-sure-every-vote-is-counted/) - Even our highest court isn’t immune from making political decisions about voting results in a presidential campaign, Jeffrey Toobin found. It’s a tight race. Turnout is already record-breaking. Some have already been given the wrong polling address. It’s up to us as citizens to ensure every citizen can vote and have every vote count. Now we can cover what we find at polling stations. Traditional media invites us to get involved. Document
- [How We Can Argue Better](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/10/how-we-can-argue-better/) - "Presidential candidate George Bush will be active in making pronouncements in the coming weeks... He wants to define himself before his opponents do it for him," intoned a radio commentator when the previous Bush became president. Yes, nicknames stick. "To name a thing is not the same as to know a thing," Richard Feynman wrote,
- [4 Successful Ways We Achieve More Together Than Alone](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/10/4-successful-ways-we-achieve-more-together-than-alone/) - Tired of self-promotion? Would you like to make work and life easier, more productive and fun – with others? Here’s four ways others accomplish more together than you can on your own – and sometimes forge friendships. 1. Co-create Products, Cause Support and More • From clothing design to science experiments, the right crowd can
- [Be Helpful in Ways Would-be Customers Will Admire](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/10/be-helpful-in-ways-would-be-customers-will-admire/) - Want to stand out from the competition? Take a cue from a bank. Some people in Orange County, California, will be walking into a local bank branch to vote. Many will be assisted by bank volunteers who have been trained as poll workers. This SmartPartnership made local and international news. Would you like customer-attracting media
- [It’s OK to Make Money in Your Social Media Business](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/10/its-ok-to-make-money-in-your-social-media-business/) - Many social media businesses offer everything for free. Founders want a strong base of users before charging. Some start-ups might take a closer look at charging sooner, as the battle between Twitter and Yammer demonstrates. Twitter is a wildly popular microblogging tool (’”right now I am…”). You use the Web or your cell to send 140-character messages to your group of opt-in friends and fans. It has millions
- [Spend Less on Gas & Other Car Costs, #3 of 5 Ways](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/10/spend-less-on-gas-other-car-costs-3-of-5-ways/) - Find the cheapest gas near you plus change how you use and care for your car. Try these easy-to-use sites: GasBuddy, MSN Auto and Mapquest Gas Prices. On a cell phone? Try GetMobio. In true Me2We fashion, some of these sites ask for your input. We can also alter our driving habits to reduce costs.
- [Save Cash. Swap or Give it Away, #2 of 5 Ways](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/10/save-cash-swap-or-give-it-away-2-of-5-ways/) - In a bad economy like this cash is king. You can trust the rules and reputation of some online trading sites now that they’ve been up and running for a while. From books to clothing here’s some stalwart sites to save your cash and still get something new to you. Popular freecycle enables you to
- [Who Are Your Heroes - And Why?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/10/who-are-your-heroes-and-why/) - Who are your heroes? To me they are those who create ways we can accomplish more together than on own. They bring out our best sides. A positively mutually-reinforcing effect. We are more likely to spiral up into great accomplishment together rather than down into conflict. We’re more likely to go to dinner together rather than
- [Help Each Other Through a Bad Economy, #1 of 5 Ways](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/10/help-each-other-through-a-bad-economy-1-of-5-ways/) - Instead of staying in a hotel, rent a room from a local. Travel cheap. Discover more. Try the “temporary bed and breakfast” peer-to-peer sites, AirBed & Breakfast or Roomorama where a night’s stay can range from $45 to $100 or so. Anyone with a bed, airbed or couch can rent it out for the night.
- [How to Care for a Lively Online Community](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/10/how-to-care-for-a-lively-online-community/) - Why do Yankee fans flock to their favorite online community, YanksBlog? Perhaps, it’s because they feel welcomed and supported, as you would want to be at the site for your passionate interest. Patrick O'Keefe is a gracious and savvy host for this avid baseball fans. He manages several communities including PhotoshopForums, KarateForums and BadBoyForums. Like
- [What do you do when your fans disagree with you?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/09/what-do-you-do-when-your-fans-disagree-with-you/) - Obama faced that quandry. Are your customers revolting? What's your organization's reputation... really? Alternatively, how can you inspire customers to improve your product, brag about it to others and otherwise help you become the top-of-mind choice in your market? Get ideas from the co-author of the most talked-about book on “tapping into the power of
- [Buy the Safest Products for You and the World, With the Help of ….](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/09/buy-the-safest-products-for-you-and-the-world-with-the-help-of/) - … a good guide. Now here’s a new company I’ll use and hope will succeed. GoodGuide has recruited scientists and other “trusted advisors” and gathered facts from a wide range of resources to enable you to make wiser choices about the consumer products you buy. It rates products three ways: health, social and environmental. At
- [Take Squabbles Public. Who’s Right?  The Crowd Decides](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/09/take-squabbles-public-whos-right-the-crowd-decides/) - While PostSecret provides us with vicarious and often poignant peeks into actions people choose to divulge, Sidetaker takes private disagreements public. One aggrieved party posts her or his side, then offers their lover the chance to respond. Providing just a few details in defending oneself can lead to recognition, at least among friends, family and
- [Be the Media: Book as Your Starter Kit](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/09/be-the-media-book-as-your-starter-kit/) - At the Canne Film Festival Peter Broderick described new online opportunities for indy filmmakers to create, promote and distribute their work. He's not alone. "Independents" of all kinds are making their own media, leaving how-to-templates in their wake for others to modify for their own use. Ever dream of hosting a community radio show, co-creating
- [Where Love Belongs – at Work](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/09/where-love-belongs-at-work/) - Every once in awhile I’m going to share a Me2We kind of nugget from someone on my blog roll. You can see it now on the right side of the page, scrolling down to “RECOMMENDED LINKS.”What better way to start than with love, at work, no less. So, let me introduce you to Chris Bailey who wrote, “When you
- [Picture the Situation.  Been There?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/09/picture-the-situation-been-there/) - Discover mini-philosophies of life, expressed as whimsical diagrams. They are addictive when drawn with deadpan humor by Jessica Hagy. Find more at Indexed. Bet you can’t view just one. These seemed to express Me2We-style sentiments. BTW, she was a 2007 Webby Awards honoree in 2007. The New York Times and the BBC Magazine online have
- [How We Gather Now: Our Victory Garden at City Hall](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/09/how-we-gather-now-our-victory-garden-at-city-hall/) - In the Willamette Valley, my grandfather grafted pippen and other apple varieties in his small orchard. By himself. He’d probably scratch his head at the notion that hundreds of city folks would turn up in front of San Francisco's city hall one Saturday to plant a 10,000 foot victory garden. A temporary one at that.
- [How the Mobile “We” Discover, Riot, Buy, Protest, Protect and Play Together](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/09/how-the-mobile-we-discover-riot-buy-protest-protect-and-play-together/) - You’re strolling down a boutique-lined street. A restaurant catches your eye. You whip out your phone, scan the bar code on the window then go online to peak at reviews. It got raves so why not go in? After all, you’ll get a ring on your phone if your parking meter runs low whilst you’re
- [Relationship Is Like a Shark](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/09/relationship-is-like-a-shark/) - Yes, relationships seem dangerous or at least irritating at times. And our choices often appear murky. Want a surprisingly quick and satisfying exercise for making wiser decisions next time? Try it by opening to any page in the witty new book by Dr. Mardy Grothe, I Never Metaphor I Didn’t Like. (Relationship Is Like a Shark is one of his
- [What Fast Company Forgot. Making Brainstorming Work.](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/09/what-fast-company-forgot-making-brainstorming-work/) - Every once in awhile I’m going to share a Me2We kind of nugget from someone on my blog roll. See that roll now on the right side of the page, scrolling down through “Recommended Links.” Today we’ll turn to the Center for Graphic Facilitation where Peter Durand takes Fast Company to task. Why? They skipped
- [Nike: Get More People to Get Out and Just Do It](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/09/nike-get-more-people-to-get-out-and-just-do-it/) - Nike invites us to join a million runners around the world, “for a worldwide 10K like no other.” And they invited celebrities to join them. There’s a small catch. “You need a Nike+ SportBand or Nike+iPod and Sport Kit” to run with them. You can’t fault them. They want you to buy their products of
- [Six Hours in Line for a Movie. The Day Cochran Won’t Forget](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/09/six-hours-in-line-for-a-movie-the-day-cochran-wont-forget/) - From anger to pride, deep emotions are surfacing in this wild political season. One story sticks in my mind. That of a movie theater ticket taker in Xenia, Ohio, telling two black college students that the place was closed. Now 88 years old, P.T. Chochran told New York Times columnist Bob Herbert that he and
- [Two Experts’ Ideas for More Convivial Conferences](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/two-experts-ideas-for-more-convivial-conferences/) - Recession coming? Perhaps the best way to keep briefed on your profession is to attend the annual conference of your peers. Yet wouldn’t you enjoy the event more if you had a greater voice in the meeting design and formats, topics and speakers, participation and networking opportunities and ways you could meet online before and
- [Marry Me! Big Way to Involve Others in Your Romantic Proposal](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/marry-me-big-way-to-involve-others-in-your-romantic-proposal/) - After the war, my father worked on a fire lookout station in a remote forest in Oregon. He called my mother on the (public) government phone line, asking her to marry him. Thank goodness she said yes because he took quite a ribbing from those on other lookouts who could not help but hear him.
- [Be an Opportunity-Maker by Making Apt Introductions](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/be-an-opportunity-maker-by-making-apt-introductions/) - Bill Murray said, “I went to Second City, where you learned to make the other actor look good so you looked good and National Lampoon, where you had to create everything out of nothing, and SNL, where you couldn't make any mistakes, and you learned what collaboration was.” Savor your life by spurring more fruitful
- [The Art of Being Business Partners & Friends](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/the-art-of-being-business-partners-friends/) - For starters, a warped sense of humor helps. When he first came from New York, shortly after college, Paul Geffner began selling handmade leather bound journals, along with a crowd of other street vendors on the sidewalk near The Embarcadero in S.F. Even then people were drawn to him. Soon, with childhood friends, he started
- [How We See Ourselves, Pollster Suggests](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/how-we-see-ourselves-pollster-suggests/) - At a wedding I attended last month on the most southern island of Greece, an American was marrying a Greek woman he met at graduate school. People traveled there from 20 countries. Of the 90 or so guests, all under 30 years of age had visited at least five countries, often for study, work or
- [You’ve Got Five Loooong Minutes to Grab Their Attention](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/youve-got-five-loooong-minutes-to-grab-their-attention/) - It takes a tenth of a second to form an impression. So imagine how difficult it is to hold their interest for five minutes. That’s a short time for you and a looooooong time to them. For practice in being memorably brief, find or start an Ignite group. They are popping up all over, including
- [Humorous Way to Get Out the Vote](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/humorous-way-to-get-out-the-vote/) - Encourage your neighbors to vote. Download an unusual yard sign. Over 24,000 people voted for 50 artist-designed signs at My Yard. Our Message. Thank you Bri Bigaouette for my favorite, and Dave Brynestad and DK Lockhart for my follow-up choices. As Chip and Dan Heath suggest in Made to Stick, the unexpected message grabs the
- [Sky High Branding for Your Town](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/sky-high-branding-for-your-town/) - With the advent of Google Earth and Google Maps here’s an inventive way to literally make your business – or town - more visible. Target paints huge logos on the roofs of their stores. Customers have another way to locate the nearest one – and people like us comment on it. Chad Upton blogged about
- [Avid Photographers’ Alert:  New Way to Get Noticed and Paid](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/avid-photographers-alert-new-way-to-get-noticed-and-paid/) - Imagine your photo in a boutique hotel lobby, illustrating a magazine article or in another public place – and getting compensated. Here’s two crowdsourcing ways that could happen. A prospective client can find your photo on iStockphoto – or you could take a photo for a special assignment – and allow peers vote for the
- [Are you influential enough to be targeted by google?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/are-you-influential-enough-to-be-targeted-by-google/) - If you are, google wants to place ads on your blog or the profile page on the social network(s) to which you belong. Last month, google filed a patent that will help the company find key influencers in each network. How will google find you? See the steps in this helpful diagram by social network
- [Who of Us is Powerful and How Can We Tell?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/who-of-us-is-powerful-and-how-can-we-tell/) - In the study I dub “Are you powerful or not?” I’d be in a third category. Why? Because I felt insulted when instructed to do what researchers asked of students. At Northwestern and Stanford, no less. Here’s what happened. Two professors, Adam Galinsky and Joe Magee divided undergrads into two groups. One group was primed
- [Is Your World  “Me” or “Us”- Centered?  Which is More Prevalent?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/is-your-world-me-or-us-centered-which-is-more-prevalent/) - We instinctively experience situations as individuals or as part of a group. As David Brooks suggests today, the world is divided into those with an individualist or a collectivist mentality. Guess which group is larger. Freedom to succeed. That powerful American dream attracts millions of people to the U.S. yet it is at odds with
- [How to Attract Customers, Even in a Bad Economy](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/how-to-attract-customers-even-in-a-bad-economy/) - Yes, the economy is still worsening. People are spending less. Yet you can still attract more customers and, sometimes, even more per-customer spending. How? By offering them something more. You just need the right kind of partners and methods, as Jamie Herzlich points out in Newsday today. (She quoted me along with others including my
- [Easy Way to Organize Gatherings for Those Who Share Your Interest](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/easy-way-to-organize-gatherings-with-those-who-share-your-interest/) - Your hobby or work expertise or belief may be unusual, yet it’s likely that people near you share your interest. Or they may just want to have fun. How can you find those kindred spirits? By hosting an ever-better MeetUp. Also consider start a MeetUp to create a profit center for yourself. Or to hone a skill or
- [How Quickly Would You Conform?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/how-quickly-would-you-conform/) - You, too, may laugh in amusement at these Candid Camera style “experiments.” Yet, ruefully, I acknowledge that I might conform within minutes… well seconds? Also, see this other well-known (among psychologists, anyway) “people are sheep” experiment by Solomon Asch. Would you trust your eyes or an authority’s pronouncement? Afterwards, many psychologists concluded that the perceived
- [Attract Fans & Money:  Train Others to Teach Your Stuff](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/attract-fans-money-train-others-to-teach-your-stuff/) - Like to bring more joy to your marriage? Want to increase your income by training others to lead groups, based on your expertise? Learn how from someone who’s successful at both. In this interview hear how Susan Page is training therapists and marriage educators to lead “Spiritual Partnership Support Groups" - an approach she advocates in her newest book, Why
- [“Authors must become brands”](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/authors-must-become-brands/) - Publishers expect their writers to be "author-preneurs" - especially if the authors aren't (yet) famous. This BookExpo America panel suggests how. It's 41 minutes. Hear how to balance your need to write with your obligation to promote. The 41-minute session was well-led by BookTour’s Kevin Smokler. Panelists are uber book events host, Kim Ricketts;
- [How Many Personalities Are Inside You?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/how-many-personalities-are-inside-you/) - That irritating co-worker you're stuck sitting by (again!) sees a decidedly different side of you than your best friend does. That’s because you have many people inside of you (no they're not imaginary). That’s what veteran science writer, Rita Carter discovered as she began reading about bi-polar personalities for Mapping the Mind. Emerging research shows
- [Like a Movie Director, Storyboard the Experience for Us](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/like-a-movie-director-storyboard-the-experience-for-us/) - Oops. Don’t just design and decorate your people-serving place or event. Storyboard it. Create the experience for them, just as a movie director plans the sequence of scenes to pull people in and evoke an strong emotional response. But, unlike a movie director, you can involve all the senses. From the first smell to the
- [A Tool to Attract More People to Your Cause ...](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/08/a-tool-to-attract-more-people-to-your-cause/) - ... even when you have few resources. Or to make your small donation matter more. Want to launch a campaign to spruce up your nearby park? Like to share your expertise with others, for the greater good? Like to track the success of a project you supported? For your cause or club, like a user-friendly
- [Thoughtful Ways to Use LinkedIn](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/07/thoughtful-ways-to-use-linkedin/) - Want to ask your colleagues a question as you research a project or when you need a recommendation? Have a strong aversion to the spamlike behavior that can happen at Facebook and other social media sites? Find over 100 tips for tapping the Wisdom of the Crowds (people you know) - using LinkedIn - a
- [Jumpstart Sales With Your Own Book Club](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/07/jumpstart-sales-with-your-own-book-club/) - Authors’ alert: Try your version of Seth Godin’s newest crowd attractor that rocketed his book to the top ten bestsellers at Amazon. And the book isn't even out yet. Here’s what happened. About two months ago, he offered his fans the chance to be on the cover of his next book, Tribes: We Need You
- [Spread joy. Send a singing telegram via email.](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/07/spread-joy-send-a-singing-telegram-via-email/) - Share your own lyrics. Make them up right now at your computer. It’s simple. Honest. Ask Humphrey or Gina to sing them for you. (They're rather eccentric yet fun.) Then make your friends laugh, smile … (or cry?) when they receive your singing telegram. Go ahead. It’s free at kakomessenger. Sitting all by yourself in front of your computer too long? Here’s
- [Squeezing Every Minute of Fun Out of Your Life? Pausch Sure Did.](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/07/squeezing-every-minute-of-fun-out-of-your-life-pausch-sure-did/) - It brings tears to my eyes as I write this and I’m not alone. Millions of us were so inspired by Randy Pausch’s “last lecture” that we bought his book. In that lecture Pausch said, “I'm dying and I'm having fun. And I'm going to keep having fun every day I have left. Because there's
- [Got a Loafer on Your Team or Committee?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/07/got-a-loafer-on-your-team-or-committee/) - Is someone not pulling their weight yet expecting to enjoy the fruits of your group’s hard work? Here are five tips to prevent freeloading. Avoid the unattractive, energy-sucking role of the nag. Instead increase the chances of bringing out the best talents and temperament in everyone. That makes work more productive and life more fun.
- [Get oh so close to money you can’t have](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/07/get-oh-so-close-to-money-you-cant-have/) - What a stop-you-in-your-tracks attention-grabber and visibility-builder. Got an example to top this one? (Thanks Todd.)
- [“Even You Can Draw It So They Quickly Understand, Kare”](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/even-you-can-draw-it-so-they-quickly-understand-kare/) - In art class we were asked to draw a familiar object. I picked something simple. A tire. No one could recognize it. And yet, after reading The Back of the Napkin: Solving Problems and Selling Ideas with Pictures I was able to draw a description of SmartPartnering and another on storyboarding. Let people literally see
- [How Our Tech Helps Us Get Along - or Not](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/how-our-tech-helps-us-get-along-or-not/) - Bluntly speaking, we are more likely to cooperate in a group when those who don’t get punished. "Darwin had a blind spot. It wasn’t that he didn’t see the role of cooperation in evolution. He just didn’t see how important it is." Little has changed until relatively recently. We were raised to compete because we
- [Where’s Matt? (and we don’t mean Lauer)](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/wheres-matt-and-we-dont-mean-lauer/) - More importantly, what’s his secret to attracting exuberant crowds? Can we bottle it? Thanks Garr Reynolds for introducing us to Matthew Harding.
- [Two Ways to Collaborate to Bring the Best Out in Each Other](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/two-ways-to-collaborate-to-bring-the-best-out-in-each-other/) - When mentoring goes both ways it’s one of the richest experiences one can have, noted Ben Casnocha in his book, My Start-Up Life. Crediting a long line of wise guides, Casnocha, who founded Comcate at age 14, called today’s interviewee, Chris Yeh, a mentor’s mentor. We'll also hear from Kristine Molnar at PBwiki, one of
- [If you only read one story on Guantanamo …](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/if-you-only-read-one-story-on-guantanamo/) - … please read this one. If Gutman, Lasseter and Schofield don’t get a Pulitzer I’ll be surprised. They “traveled to 11 countries to interview 66 freed Guantanamo and Afghanistan prison detainees.” "No one would accept it if a local prosecutor used sleep deprivation and attack dogs to coerce an inmate’s confession. No judge, county or
- [“what the Brady Bunch would be like …](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/what-the-brady-bunch-would-be-like/) - … if they lived in communist Russia,” is how an anonymous employee described his company culture. Guess which company. Also, want to know what your boss’ home is worth? And how much does she make? From some of the folks who enabled you to discover the answer to the first question you may now be
- [Turning Your Experience Into a Convivial & Profitable Business](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/turning-your-experience-into-a-convivial-profitable-business/) - From stay-at-home Mom to art teacher to designer of exquisite Ukrainian eggs to author of a book that lands her on The Today Show. That’s quite career ride. Better still, it led Jane Pollak to her dream job. Jane provides what’s probably the single most successful Me2We tool you’ll ever find. The mastermind group. She's
- [Support Your Cause or Hobby With Maps Mashups and Widgets](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/support-your-cause-or-hobby-with-maps-mashups-and-widgets/) - Want concrete ways to become more successful with others than you can on your own? Then adapt a real life Me2We-captured success story and underlying method to your work or life situation. Every few days you’ll find fresh examples here, taken from one of the blogs on Links, our blog roll. Here’s your first one:Create
- [Become a Reporter on the World’s Biggest Channel](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/become-a-reporter-on-the-worlds-biggest-channel/) - Like to cover a concert, political campaign or a boycott as you see it, literally? Want to give your slant on your local back roads? How about recruiting some friends and creating a weekly show around your favorite hobby or other interest? YouTube just made it easer to attract an audience to video programs you
- [Be Quoted When a Reporter Covers Your Kind of Story](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/be-quoted-when-a-reporter-covers-your-kind-of-story/) - Other than inadvertently becoming part of a scandal, crisis or other notably bad or good news, here’s the most likely method for becoming part of a media story – in a positive way. Get briefed on stories for which reporters, producers or bloggers are seeking input – right now. For $99 a month, get PR Leads,
- [How a Coffee Event Attracts More People & You Can Too](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/how-a-coffee-event-attracts-more-people-you-can-too/) - Some of the most masterful baristas in the U.S. gathered in a hotel lobby in Minneapolis for their annual competition last month, judged by their peers. But this year was different. More excitement. And pressure. Coffee growers, café owners and other baristas and coffee lovers from around the world can watch them perform. In real
- [A Natural Way to Network at "Our" Conference](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/a-natural-way-to-network-at-your-conference/) - “Did you go there on vacation?” “I rode on that bike ride for breast cancer too.” “Oh, you went to that meeting too?” Walking around the conference halls, with your favorite tote bag over your shoulder is like carrying a mini-billboard about some special part of your life. Such questions are easy conversation starters. It's
- [Let’s All Play Games and Learn Together](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/lets-all-play-games-and-learn-together/) - Did you enjoy sitting in a classroom, listening to the teacher in front of the room? Farvood Nivi is betting you didn’t. (I daydreamed a lot.)Nivi has a bleak view of education: “The established method of applying manufacturing assembly methods to students is not working. If it was, then there wouldn't be illiterate graduates and
- [Embarrassing Accidents, Oversharing and Real Connection](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/embarrassing-accidents-oversharing-and-real-connection/) - Those mortifying accidents. Stephen J. Dubner unleashed a pent-up flood of guilt and shame from readers of his New York Times column last month. Ever written an email, then sent it in haste … to the wrong person? Or cc’d people who shouldn’t have seen your candid message? Or mistakenly received an email that was
- [How many speakers and panelists really want to know…](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/06/how-many-speakers-and-panelists-really-want-to-know/) - … what attendees are saying about their presentation – in real time, no less? You better pay attention to what that crowd in front of you may be silently texting to each other, according to one thoughtful social media thought leader, Rohit Bhargava. In fact, he gives six reasons why you should follow the Twitter
- [Reduce Your Risk in Hiring the Right Designer](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/05/reduce-your-risk-in-hiring-the-right-designer/) - A big stumbling block in hiring the graphic designer who most “gets” your business is this. You won’t know if you’ll like the design until after you put your money down. The smaller your business and budget the greater the risk it seems. That’s how it works at two popular places, ifreelance and Elance. Buyer
- [3D Breakthrough Changes How We Meet, Share, Buy & Play](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/05/3d-breakthrough-changes-how-we-meet-collaborate-buy-play/) - He was in Bangalore and his co-presenters were in San Jose, yet Cisco’s CEO appeared live - on the same stage. How? By using a breathtaking 3D holographic-like technology. They tout it as, “the world’s first real time virtual presentation. Aptly, it's called TelePresence. See Sir Richard Branson – live at a London press conference,
- [Can Do Kids: Formula For Jumpstarting a Business and a Cause](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/05/can-do-kids-formula-for-jumpstarting-a-business-and-a-cause/) - Usually companies start supporting causes after being in business awhile. Now some are starting a business for a cause. Like Ethos, Newman's Own and Can Do Kids. The “do good” message is central to the business model. The cause is as important as the profits. Coaching three start-ups was a joy. Can Do Kids energy
- [Do Your Best Work Together. Give it Away. Make Money.](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/05/do-your-best-work-together-give-it-away-make-money/) - Give away downloadable, eco-friendly house plans – and make money? Others could adapt this startup’s healthy Me2We path to profitability, using their kind of expertise. Plus you could enjoy the camaraderie that comes from collaborating on projects that benefit people around the world. Here’s the story. Working with the highest-rated makers of home construction materials,
- [Get Slightly Famous?  Where's Your Tribe?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/05/get-slightly-famous-wheres-your-tribe/) - Seth Godin’s promise to put 1,000 faces on the cover of his next book, Tribe, reminded me of two other crowd pleasers: • the top-of-heads photo on Clay Shirky’s insightful book, Here Comes Everybody: The Power of Organizing Without Organizations. • the 60-foot high faces of Chicagoans that appear on the Crown Foundation. See startled
- [What Most Worries Women? Getting Fat or...?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/05/what-most-worries-women-getting-fat-or/) - This news is sad, yet not surprising. As women, we are more concerned about our weight (56%) and eating right (36%) than we are worried about getting one of three big killers for women: cancer (23%), heart problems (20%) or diabetes (18%). That’s what Meredith and NBC Universal discovered in their study, "What do Women
- [Collaborate Towards a Single Goal.  Expect the Unexpected.](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/05/collaborate-towards-a-single-goal-expect-the-unexpected/) - More than your solitary smarts, your capacity to do something extraordinary depends on something else. It is your ability to build on the work of others from the past or with others at the same time. So said Malcolm Gladwell at last year’s New Yorker conference. This may be a key theme in Outliers: Why
- [Build an Avid Online Community. Make Money.  Enjoy Life.](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/05/build-an-avid-online-community-make-money-enjoy-life/) - For stay-at-home entrepreneurs, here’s a proven, three-step plan to make money, as Liz Ryan has proven. The key is sticking to the plan. Here it is:Step OneCraft a niche expertise and a niche market. Choosing both, you get “Double Niche Leverage":1. Subject matter + 2. Kind of people you seek to serve.Reward: you’ll create coveted
- [The Danger of GroupThink](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/05/the-danger-of-groupthink/) - "If we are all in agreement on the decision--then I propose we postpone further discussion of this matter until our next meeting to give ourselves time to develop disagreement and perhaps gain some understanding of what the decision is all about." So wrote Alfred P. Sloan. This management guru recognized both the danger of "groupthink"
- [Be the First to Build a Community Around Your Idea, Brand or Cause](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/05/be-the-first-to-build-a-community-around-your-idea-brand-or-cause/) - Want to become the unexpected top-of-mind choice? Take a page from how politics is played now. “If the typical Gore (presidential campaign fundraising) event was 20 people in a living room writing six-figure checks, and the Kerry event was 2,000 people in a hotel ballroom writing four-figure checks, this year for Obama we have rallies
- [Make Your Meeting or Product Come Alive in Images](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/05/make-your-meeting-or-product-come-alive-in-images/) - Like to literally see a story unfold? Want to make your complex product or idea simple to understand? Yearn to make your next meeting more memorable - and enable more people to experience it? Here are three vivid approaches offered by the masters of their visual genres. 1. Animating Your Story to Make it Come
- [Public “Sculpture” That Moves Us to Play or Cry](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/05/public-sculpture-that-move-us-to-play-or-cry/) - Want to see somber-looking pedestrians suddenly break out in smiles, start posing with each other – even laying on the pavement together, looking up and taking photos in a very public place? Like to see yourself literally in many different ways? Then visit Anish Kapoor’s play-inducing Cloud Gate. After I spoke at an IABC in
- [You’ll Never Picture Papers Clips the Same After This Game](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/05/youll-never-picture-papers-clips-the-same-after-this-game/) - The same day I interviewed interactive games expert for families (one label for this multi-talented woman), Kris Bordessa I gathered several unsuspecting friends to play the paper clips game she described to me. Among them were a cabinet maker, psychologist and angel investor. Frankly I was surprised at who most helped their team win, who
- [“Business Networking That Doesn’t Suck”](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/04/business-networking-that-doesnt-suck/) - When a Seattle couple, self-described indie professionals, couldn’t find the kind of low-key business get-togethers they enjoyed, they decided to host some. 50 events later they’d founded an online community. Members can volunteer to host the kind of comfy, relevant face-to-face gatherings and seminars in which they most wanted to participate. It’s now called Biznik.
- [Co-Create "Like You Give a Damn"](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/04/co-create-like-you-give-a-damn/) - From Buenos Aires to Biloxi, architects anywhere can design emergency shelters for those who lost their homes in Sri Lanka. They may never meet in person or tour buildings they designed yet they can now see each other and their creations online. Their ability to share building designs is world-changing, especially for the poor. Why?
- [Are You Dating Obama? (How Attraction Builds Stronger Relationships, Or Not)](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/04/are-you-dating-obama-how-attraction-builds-stronger-relationships-or-not/) - When we first fall for someone, we become enamored with everything about that person. We gush. We create things to commemorate their specialness. We feel so connected, we fill in the blanks about what we don’t know. We assume we will like the rest of that person just as much. That’s just human. If we
- [You May Not Fall in Love On Your Next Trip, But….](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/04/you-may-not-fall-in-love-on-your-next-trip-but/) - ... you may fall “in like” with kindred spirits who are interested in meeting you. In fact you're likely to make lifelong friends. Here’s how. Rather than scouting guidebooks for your next dream vacation, hoping to discern not only the best sightseeing spots but the undiscovered foods, customs and places only the locals know about,
- [Collaborate Online to Generate Great Information and Profits](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/04/collaborate-online-to-generate-great-information-and-profits/) - Become a top-of-mind expert in your market by following small business trends guru, Anita Campbell’s successful formula for success. Yes, she’s worked hard to reach the place where others seek to emulate her. A key was her approach to getting "custom sponsorships. She also has a plan in mind that helped her set priorities, each
- [my Starbucks Idea = Template for Any Consumer-Serving Company](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/04/my-starbucks-idea-template-for-any-consumer-serving-company/) - It took a much-discussed hit and continuing stock tumble for Starbucks to finally turn to "us" customers and staff for ideas on how to get back in their good graces. Sign up at my Starbucks Idea and offer your suggestion. It pops up on the site immediately. Then peruse others’ ideas to comment or vote
- [How Much Can You Rely on Someone’s Recommendation?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/how-much-can-you-rely-on-someones-recommendation/) - In conversation with an acquaintance you mention that your CPA has retired. This semi-stranger suggests a CPA who specializes in your kind of work. Should you follow-up? You’d be more motivated to do so if that acquaintance: 1. Had first-hand knowledge of the quality of the CPA’s work. 2. Would be adversely affected if the
- [How Are Our Beliefs and Behavior Evolving?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/how-are-our-beliefs-and-behavior-evolving/) - Over fifty million people in the United States are Cultural Creatives. This cluster was labeled by Sherry Anderson and Paul Ray. They believe it began to emerge just fifty years ago. Two thirds of the group are women. In their book they noted that Cultural Creatives, “substantially outnumber social and financial conservatives … and are
- [What Happens When You Don’t Know Who’s Acting?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/what-happens-when-you-dont-know-whos-acting/) - The playboy bunny I was "asked" to interview said she needed an automatic, rather than a stick shift on the Corvette her suger daddy was giving here. It was the only way she could sip her slurpy while driving. At that moment I wondered how I was going to write a straight story without looking
- [How You Can Prompt Us to Feel or Do Something](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/how-you-can-prompt-us-to-feel-or-do-something/) - This persusion technique probably won’t work on hormonally-hit teenagers (sorry weary parents) yet you could try it on spouses, co-workers or customers. Suppose, for example, you’re tired of the dirty cups in the office coffee nook. Try spraying the air with a lemony scent reminiscent of a cleaning agent. When those sloppy colleagues smell it
- [What If Grants Were Given for Social Change Ideas?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/what-if-grants-were-given-for-social-change-ideas/) - The time has come. The Jeff Skolls, Larry Brilliants and Melinda and Bill Gates of the social entrepreneur movement feel they’ve reached the tipping point. Sidestepping traditional charity, business or government “models” they’ve crafted systems for doing good that are data-driven and replicable – so they can scale, to use the geek term for “keep
- [How American Express Succeeds at Tradeshows: News You Can Use](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/how-american-express-succeeds-at-tradeshow-news-you-can-use/) - Do you exhibit at trade shows? Gain insights into how to generate more visibility and value - with the right partners - from someone who’s increased the event planning ROI for American Express. Meeting planners and attendees can also benefit from his ideas. Our podcast guest, Harris Schanhaut, CME is a thought leader in the
- [Making Conferences More Meaningful by Harnessing Technology](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/making-conferences-more-meaningful-by-harnessing-technology/) - Our trend towards more collaborative conferences and other modes of knowing and learning has happened largely through the use of new technology. The pace of change in online tools is overwhelming even for geek gurus (no I am not one). From three of my heroes on making education more entrancing and available (George Siemens, Peter
- [Co-Creating What We Wear… and More?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/co-creating-what-we-wear-and-more/) - Imagine investing “just” $50 in a clothing company so you could co-design the togs they make - and you can buy. My first thought was it sounds like committee work at its worst. Yet that’s exactly what a firm called nvohk started doing. Another clothing company, Threadless also uses this method and still another with
- [Me to We: Finding Meaning in a Material World](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/me-to-we-finding-meaning-in-a-material-world/) - One morning over his breakfast cereal, life forever changed for a twelve-year old Canadian boy. He flipped through the pages of his morning newspaper to find his favorite cartoons. Instead he was stopped by a headline, "Battled Child Labour, Boy 12 Murdered". That was back in 1995. Craig Kielburger asked his brother Marc and then
- [When a Conference Audience Gets Ugly in Live Time](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/when-a-conference-audience-gets-ugly-in-live-time/) - Traditionally, conference attendees fill out conference evaluations after a session or conference is over, but the SXSW conference for tech and entertainment folks is anything but traditional. Some attendees heckled in real time at the "pandering" and/or "self-promoting" style of Business Week's "Valley Girl" columnist Sarah Lacey during her interview of Facebook CEO, Mark Zukerberg.A "trainwreck."(Advice: know
- [Your Fun, New Online Magazine Rack](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/your-fun-new-online-magazine-rack/) - Perhaps the fastest way to find the latest blog news items on the web (that most matter to you) was launched today by former Apple evangelist, Guy Kawasaki. It is called Alltop and it was inspired by popurls. I love the elegantly simply display of condensed subjects – and the way featured items are chosen.
- [Here Comes Everybody](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/here-comes-everybody/) - Just weeks before her wedding, Ivanna got out of a cab in New York, leaving her T-Mobile Sidekick cell phone behind. Her friend sent emails to the Sidekick account offering a reward for the phone’s return. No answer. So Ivanna bought a new phone. When she activated Sidekick she was startled to find that someone
- [An Engaging Way to Ask Your Group What They Want](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/an-engaging-way-to-ask-your-group-what-they-want/) - Imagine creating a short video of your suggestion or related story in advance of your reunion, employee or professional meeting or celebration? Suppose you could also add comments on a group blog? Then see what’s on others’ minds before you get together. To see the power of such an approach, visit the site created in
- [How Hard is it to Get Others to Laugh?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/how-hard-is-it-to-get-others-to-laugh/) - What animal was voted the funniest? See answer below. "A rather distracted mother was walking with her precocious son past the lion enclosure at the zoo when he suddenly asked: 'Mum, how do lions make love?' Without thinking she replied: 'I don’t know darling, most of your father’s friends are in Rotary.'” It is easier
- [How We Find Pork in the Federal Budget](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/how-we-find-pork-in-the-federal-budget/) - For once, the White House House is striking back against Congress in a way that serves our public interest. Equally surprising, they (or, more accurately the Office of Management and Budget) is using a social media tool to shame the politicians by showing the pork-barrel projects they are sending back to their districts. As Stephen
- [Feeling Certain: How Our Brains Betray Us](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/feeling-certain-how-our-brains-betray-us/) - Within seconds, an expert can look at a fake painting and know it is not the work of a master. So wrote Malcolm Gladwell in his book, Blink. How? Because the expert’s gut feeling is "perfectly rational." Not so, writes Robert Burton (who also lives here in Sausalito) in his new book, On Being Certain.
- [Keep Attendees Involved, Eager to Return Next Year...](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/keep-attendees-involved-eager-to-return-next-year/) - ... rather than restless to leave. Recruit a diverse conference planning committee with different perspectives on the attendees and brainstorm fresh ways to get people actively learning, collaborating and considering ways to follow-up later with what they learn at your meeting. Here are four rather obvious yet rarely-used ideas that cost little to implement. 1.
- [Do you lead your life in reaction to others?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/do-you-lead-your-life-in-reaction-to-others/) - I often do, despite myself. Want to become less surprised by what “happens” to you. Don’t let somebody else determine your behavior. Expand your awareness to gain a greater understanding of your life with others.Learn from the masters, guided by a learned mentor. (When did this start sounding like an infomercial to you?) Bear with
- [Before We Buy: First Place to Look for Coupon Savings Online](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/before-we-buy-first-place-to-look-for-coupon-savings-online/) - Before you buy something online visit RetailMeNot to see if you can save money with a discount coupon code. Sure there are other Web sites offering masses of coupons yet this new community-oriented coupon site offers us consumers more value. Here’s how. Because the founders choose to make no money on a majority of the
- [Want More Sponsor Money for Your Member-Based Group?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/want-more-sponsor-money-for-your-member-based-group/) - Then provide companies more value. In one of those “Why didn’t I think of this earlier?” moments the leaders at Professional Convention Management Association adopted a simple and very successful change. They invited would-be sponsors to underwrite events and other programs throughout the year, not just at the annual conference or other one-time opportunity. The
- [Today He Recalls the Fateful Turning Point on Nov. 10, 2007](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/03/today-he-recalls-the-fateful-turning-point-on-nov-10-2007/) - Asking “us” to join him rather than to fight “them.” Offering to meet with others rather than to battle to win. That, Dave Brooks writes today, is the defining difference between the two Democratic presidential candidates - and he saw it first on November 10th. Can ”a non-hierarchical, collaborative leader” really “inspire autonomous individuals to cooperate for
- [See Your Meeting Sketched in Near Live Time](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/02/see-your-meeting-sketched-in-near-live-time/) - Imagine watching your meeting unfold as an illustrated map – soon after each person speaks. See how ideas intersect. Where the conversation is going. That’s how visionary graphic facilitation guru, David Sibbet supports a group in seeing – together - what they are co-creating. Dave started doodling meetings in his notebook way back when he
- [Safe, Smart, Satisfying Way to Learn From Each Other](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/02/safe-smart-satisfying-way-to-learn-from-each-other/) - We can learn more from our mistakes than our successes. That’s especially likely if a small, supportive group of peers probes to understand us better before they offer advice. In part, that’s what Learning Circles can offer. Mutual mentorship. While most are created for people to learn from each other at work (especially schools and
- [Battling Crime One Leak at a Time?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/02/battling-crime-one-leak-at-a-time/) - From tax evasion and money laundering to what’s happening at Guantanamo, whistleblowers' “secret" documents can be posted and seen by anyone with access to the Internet, thanks to Wikileaks. Even a federal judge’s order here in San Francisco can’t completely quash the testimony now. People just post the story on mirror servers and elsewhere. That’s
- [We’d Rather Work Together Than Alone](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/02/wed-rather-work-together-than-alone/) - So says Smart Mobs author Howard Rheingold in this 19-minute talk at the Ted conference. He believes it is instinctive to want to participate in a compatible group. Of course, we are only as strong as the weakest link. Hear how to be a part of collective action and participatory media. It may lead you
- [Why Our World’s Not Quite Flat  …](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/02/why-our-worlds-not-quite-flat/) - … is because of you innovative people. You have more freedom to choose where you'll work and live. And many innovative people choose to live near each other. This choice creates an increasingly “spiky” rather than a flattening world that Tom Friedman sees. So argues Richard Florida (for reasons different than Joseph Stiglitz), author of
- [Involve Your Clients in Growing Your Company](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/02/involve-your-clients-in-growing-your-company/) - Owners of small businesses are usually time-starved. They crave practical methods that have proven success. They want to get news-you-can-use tips quickly, anytime they have a spare moment. That’s what small business expert, Anita Campbell has discovered. To increase your profits, offer 1. to your chosen niche market 2. the most valuable mix of products
- [Watercooler for Employees – Wherever Your Work](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/02/watercooler-for-employees-wherever-your-work/) - Work-at-home customer service reps who take calls for companies like Vermont Teddy Bear, 1-800-Flowers and Office Depot now have a fresh way to trade ideas and to socialize. The reps’ employer, Alpine Access made it happen. It is a start-up serving smallish businesses. Adapting the social networking phenomenon to their employees’ needs, the firm hired
- [Is Your Group Dying or Thriving?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/02/is-your-group-dying-or-thriving/) - Some women’s organizations are stalled. Others are growing like wildfire - and most any group can adopt their member-delighting methods, including yours. Hear how from Diane Danielson, CEO of the DowntownWomensClub.com. Later on, you’ll hear from Beth Schoenfeldt, the co-founder of another rapidly-growing group, Ladies Who Launch.In this flattening world both groups provide innovative ways
- [Rally Support Quickly on Facebook](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/02/rally-support-quickly-on-facebook/) - A huge protest on Monday gives you a blueprint on how to jumpstart your call to action. It happened quickly. If hundreds of thousands of Colombians can organize a protest on Facebook, to take to the streets against the violence-prone Marxist rebel group, FARC then perhaps you and like-minded others can launch your cause, boycott,
- [Forge a Partnership to Battle the Bigger Guy](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/02/forge-a-partnership-to-battle-the-bigger-guy/) - You don't have to be a powerful politician to increase your influence by partnering. Emulate their tactics. Here's how: 1. Are You Under Someone’s Thumb? When your piece of the pie keeps getting smaller, don’t battle others for a bigger piece – making their share smaller. Instead join forces with them and fight for a
- [Absolute Power or, Better Yet ....](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/02/absolute-power-or-better-yet/) - ... consider this. People rise to power being ruthless and manipulative. That’s a popular view anyway. Yet some studies show, ”that leaders often emerge from communities not because they are ruthless, but because they are skilled at managing social relationships.” Here’s the paradox that actually seems inevitable. When you gain power, people treat you differently.
- [Watching Dog Inspires Advice for Us All](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/02/watching-dog-inspires-advice-for-us-all/) - Here's wise advice for us all - from Lee and Sachi, inspired by their constant, in-house muse.
- [What Makes Your Expo a Must-Attend for Us?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/02/what-makes-your-expo-a-must-attend-for-us/) - Is your expo + conference a “must attend” event for more people very year? How clear and well-known is the biggest reason to go? Attendance has grown a whopping 40% every year since George Jage launched his World Tea Expo in 2003. And he had a handicap. Jage had never worked in the industry he
- [Who’s More Successful? Simply See Photos…](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/whos-more-successful-simply-see-photos/) - … of their faces it seems. And that’s all. College students were shown head shots of CEOs at the bottom and top of the Fortune 1000 list. Even without knowing the CEOs’ names, companies or any other background they “naively” guessed which people led the most profitable companies. For example, Warren Buffett and the relatively
- [Now, Who’s the “Future You”?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/now-whos-the-future-you/) - Mmm. How will you be describing yourself say five years from now? Or at least one part of you. From the Greek word “opiso” meaning “hereafter” April Groves crafted the word “opi”: Picture the future you, “written in the present tense.” This seems to me to be a powerful way to visualize an end goal
- [How to Give Away Others’ Products to Make Money](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/how-to-give-away-others-products-to-make-money/) - We all love freebies – right? What if you could give away others’ products to the “market”of people you know best? Sweeter still, what if you gave them a greater voice in improving products they use? And here’s the profitable punch line. What if you could launch a business, backed, in part, by partnering with
- [Get in Sync With Your Audience](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/get-in-sync-with-your-audience/) - Driving along the Marin Headlands today, I switched radio channels away from the unfolding news of the stock market “panic.” Within minutes I had to pull to the side of the road. Listening to a recording of Barack Obama’s sermon yesterday at Ebenezer Baptist Church, it was these lines that choked me up: “In the
- [Create Explanatory Videos](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/create-short-how-to-videos/) - From how to kiss passionately to understanding VoIP how-to videos are wildly popular. Yet short, simple explanatory videos are deceptively difficult to create. Perhaps the fastest way to learn something new is to actually see each step explained – by a clear communicator. One can watch them in spare moments, anytime, from a computer or
- [Fast Way to Learn From Each Other](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/fast-way-to-learn-from-each-other/) - Pecha Kucha. This “equal time” meeting format is wildly popular because everyone gets a chance to share and compare in a quick and lively way. That’s why it spread around the world so quickly in the past few years. Attendees loved it yesterday when Joan Eisenstodt demonstrated the approach at PCMA's prestigious conference of meeting
- [Undecided? You’ll Probably Vote For Someone Who…](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/undecided-youll-probably-vote-for-someone-who/) - …looks like you, research shows. So if you are leaning toward one political (or marital?) candidate or have not yet decided, here's how you might be influenced. “Morphing faces”- based research demonstrates your instinctive tendency to like the person who looks right – like you. Smart Mobs author and Stanford professor, Howard Rheingold has been
- [Great Way to Give Back to Someone Who Recommends You](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/great-way-to-give-back-to-some-one-who-recommends-you/) - Don’t you love it when you recommend someone and that person finds an unexpected way to make you look good? My friend, the popular Restaurant Doctor, Bill Marvin had that experience. Since you could adapt this approach to other situations and strengthen relationships all around I thought I’d share it with you. Wrote Bill, “A
- [Evoke the Audience-Involving Power of Repetition](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/evoke-the-audience-involving-power-of-repetition/) - Don't let this happen to you. Use a powerful audience involving technique. Make your presentation about “us” rather than you by evoking The Power of Three. Here's how. Repeat your key "message" phrase three times in succession, then repeat it once, several more times throughout your talk. First time, it is heard as your slogan.
- [Bright Minds on Torture, Energy, Obesity and More](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/bright-minds-on-torture-energy-obesity-and-more/) - From raunchy to celebratory, every single minute, YouTube users are uploading six hours of their new videos. More than 100 million people are viewing them. And that was last May. Yet even the founders probably didn't imagine that their Main World Channel would eventually provide the most accessible way to see some of the brightest
- [United for Silent Sunday: Free Fouad](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/united-for-silent-sunday-free-fouad/) - Tomorrow we are joining the growing number of online voices around the world by going blog silent. This is to press for the release of blogger and reform activist, Fouad, who has been "detained" in Saudi Arabia.
- [Before You Die, Will You ...?](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/before-you-die-will-you/) - Are you yearning for the life you set aside to do what you felt you “should”? Then let four college-age Canadian friends bring you back to your dreams. That’s what they set out to do on a road trip in a “funky old bus.” That bus broke down in my village of Sausalito so they
- [Want Others to Listen? First,  Ask Yourself This Question](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/want-others-to-listen-first-ask-yourself-this-question/) - I don’t know about you but sometimes I take too long to get to the point. Instead of listening, my captive audience goes on a mental vacation. They feel talked “at” rather than “with. “ Especially if something is really important to me or I know too much on the topic I fall victim to
- [Boost Profits by Creating a Customer Community](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/boost-profits-by-creating-a-customer-community/) - But first figure out the kind of community that your customers most desire: Clique, Cult, Network or Nation? So advises popular co-authors of Church of the Customer, Ben McConnell and Jackie Huba. That is if you want to inspire "the word of mouth gospel" from avid customers. To turn your customers into evangelists (your sales
- [I hope this stops you in your tracks.](https://sayitbetter.com/2008/01/i-hope-this-stops-you-in-your-tracks/) - Swim upstream. At the mouth of the river of your life are two rights before most anything else is possible. Safety and freedom of expression. If you can read this message you’re probably enjoying both. So take a moment to stand up for someone who’s suddenly lost them. Add your voice, asking for the release
- [Enlarge Your World.  Lead a Mutual Support Group](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/enlarge-your-world-lead-a-mutual-support-group/) - Edith Yeung landed in the U.S. from Hong Kong and has not stopped for breath since she arrived. She’s living her version of the Asian American dream, extremely inter-connected (Asian) and self-reliant (American). She's crafted several ways to find mentors and colleagues and to encourage other young Asian immigrants to do the same. After finding
- [What’s Your Personal Slogan to Live by in 2008?](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/whats-your-personal-slogan-to-live-by-in-2008/) - When President Franklin D. Roosevelt died there was a funeral procession. A working class man was asked by a reporter, “Did you know President Roosevelt?” He responded, “No, but President Roosevelt knew me.” Sometimes it takes a life-changing event to look inward for what most matters. But it doesn’t have to. Rather than focusing on
- [Bring Music to the Isolated in Your Community?](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/bring-music-to-the-isolated-in-your-community/) - Thousands of prisoners, nursing home patients and others cut off from freely roaming the world have been moved by the live concerts organized by Bread and Roses. Famous musicians including Bonnie Raitt, Huey Lewis and Tuck and Patti have been joined by hundreds of other skilled, local musicians, sound engineers, event producers and other volunteers
- [A Memory-Making Trend You’ll Love](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/a-memory-making-trend-youll-love/) - Until The New York Times asked for his opinion about this trend, Erik Torkells did not even notice it. Yet he was a part of the trend - and it related to his area of expertise. Trend: Increasingly, people are traveling together (or meeting in new places) as their way of celebrating special events, such
- [Make Your Next Conference More Participatory ...](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/make-your-next-conference-more-participatory/) - ... so they'll want to come back next year. How many conferences have you attended where you felt talked “at” by a series of speakers up on stage? Then you rushed between sessions to meet new people and catch up with friends in the hallways. Wouldn’t it be great to have a meeting designed to
- [First-Ever Way to Celebrate the Holiday: Brotherhood 2.0](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/first-ever-way-to-celebrate-the-holiday-brotherhood-20/) - Literally see how two nerdy brothers, Hank and John Green, became closer by restricting their communication, helped causes – and are celebrating this holiday with the world. Their tightly orchestrated, viral “Me+Me(brothers)toWe” campaign method is one you could adapt for your own purpose. It launched the brothers and their allies to the top five spots
- [Don’t collaborate when you …](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/dont-collaborate-when-you/) - …. don’t have to. Not every opportunity is collaborative. If it is more effective to go alone, go alone. “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together…” - African saying Hat tip to Jeff Hamaoui via Social Edge for his blog post that launched an intelligent discussion
- [Share Your Smarts for Money and the Common Good](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/share-your-smarts-for-money-and-the-common-good/) - From carpentry to cooking, from pediatrics to pest control - who do you choose or turn to for answers? Soon you may have a top-of-mind web site to find the best expert. That is the same place you want to be seen as a trusted expert. Plus, when you share your expertise, you can get
- [Our Shared Monuments.  A Physical, Emotional History.](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/our-shared-monuments-a-physical-emotional-history/) - The lofty, cracked Liberty Bell; the starkly beckoning Vietnam Veterans Memorial; the made-it- personal, traveling AIDS quilt and New York’s “Wall of The Missing.” For many Americans, these images are a deep part of our shared memory. But how have they actually influenced the course of history - and our collective view of it looking
- [Be an Alpha Swarmer? Attract fans. Start movements](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/be-an-alpha-swarmer-attract-fans-start-movements/) - Have you ever been on a team where things just fell apart? Or was dominated by complainers (or worse) or endless, circular talk or caused another risk? Or one person (perhaps you) got stuck doing most of the work? Wouldn’t life be more fun and productive if we understood how to create higher-performing and happier
- [Join Forces. Attract More People. Spend Less.  Find Camaraderie.](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/join-forces-attract-more-people-spend-less-find-camaraderie/) - An idle woman on her cell phone with her pet dog nearby. That’s a common scene in my county, frankly. And people poke fun at us. Legitimately. To many, Marin means rich people who live just north of the Golden Gate Bridge, in the lush hills with bay views yet there are other great parts
- [The Gift That Evokes Tears, Laughter and Most Everything in Between](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/the-gift-that-evokes-tears-laughter-and-most-everything-in-between/) - Few people grow up and stay in the same town all their lives, with the same friends and family members just a short drive away. We meet people at college. We jump around in our jobs. Settle down. Life flies by. For many of us, our dearest friends are not down the street. Yet we
- [Buddy Up to Make & Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/buddy-up-to-make-keep-your-new-years-resolutions/) - If some companies encourage customers to co-design better products, then why not buddy up with friends to co-create better lives? Here’s a "Me2We" approach to keeping your new year's resolutions ... • Enjoy keeping your word re your goals for next year. • Deepen a friendship through supporting the best in each other. • Become
- [Why al Queda and AA are Succeeding and You Can Too](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/why-al-queda-and-aa-are-succeeding-and-you-can-too/) - The unpopularity of top-down management is old news by now. Yet how, exactly, does one create an openly collaborative organization? One that's based on the power of peer relationships? One that can thrive? The best Peer2Peer groups are efficient, adaptive and resilient resource-maximizers. That’s why they include “good” and “bad” groups. They are exceedingly good
- [Our Laugh Break: “Go slow to go fast”](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/our-laugh-break-go-slow-to-go-fast/) - “Go slow to go fast” I remind myself (too late) as did this other Scandanavian. See what’s already made a half million people laugh. Then see my favorite second, third and fourth “go slow to go fast lessons” from around the world, right here at tbs’s very funny ads. Sometimes one can't run fast enough.
- [Hear About Our Whole Human History in 60 Seconds](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/hear-about-our-whole-human-history-in-60-seconds/) - Got a minute for a recap of what’s happened so far? See the lecture offered by University of Pennsylvania intellectual historian, Alan Charles Kors. Unfortunately, you’ll need Real Player to view it. Below is a written summary. Hopeful notes: (for some) irrigation strengthens community and (for more of us) the many benefits inherent in the
- [“800 Refrigerators” Approach to Self-Led Teams](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/800-refrigerators-approach-to-self-led-teams/) - Why discover how to make self-led teams succeed? Because, in this flattening world, more of us are thrown into the self-led situation. And, more alluringly, we can have more fun and make more money, according to Alex Linksker. Can’t beat that name for someone who writes on “organizational democracy." He boasts, “We boosted annual profits
- [What Role Will You Play in Entertainment?](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/12/what-role-will-you-play-in-entertainment/) - From the Slobberknockering changes in pro wrestling to the appearance of Cartoon Network clips on YouTube “entertainment” is changing. Some fans are becoming co-creators. New kinds of businesses and individuals are now distributers. What role would you like to play? Want a window into the future of entertainment? Attend next year’s Futures of Entertainment conference
- [Sending 250,000 colored balls bouncing ….](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/sending-250000-colored-balls-bouncing/) - ... down San Francisco’s hilly streets. That’s Jonathan Glazer’s captivating way to announce Sony’s next generation of TV sets, with “colour like no other". That prompted the ultimate compliment, a parody. Yes, unexpected tumbling and color are "in". Move on to watch the exploding 18,000 gallon paint dance over a block of abandoned Scottish high-rise
- [Second Biggest “People” Hive on the Planet?](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/second-biggest-people-hive-on-the-planet/) - Busy bees. Yep. “The busiest ‘hive’ is the (formerly) student “hive,’” notes Mark Brooks, to the surprise of few who go online. More people check in more often at Facebook than at any other online social network. But few people guess the name of the second busiest hive. Except the time-pressed mothers who seek advice
- [Your Fastest Path to Greater Success and Friendship](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/your-fastest-path-to-greater-success-and-friendship/) - I got this strange idea in eighth grade. To run for student body president is not a surprising decision for most outgoing, popular people. But I was neither. In fact I tended to daydream, read books that were not on the required list, and sit in the table at the far corner of the cafeteria
- [Make Bigger Dreams Happen by Doubling Up](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/make-bigger-dreams-happen-by-doubling-up/) - When a dot com founder and a real estate developer can bankroll successful movies for profit or for noble social goals, then the movie studios better watch their backs. They have more than the writers' strike to worry about in a power shift that L.A. Times reporter, Patrick Goldstein predicts will crack open the movie
- [Making Dinner Together Can Create Kindred Spirits](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/making-dinner-together-can-create-kindred-spirits/) - After eating at some of the most elegant and far out restaurants in Las Vegas, Kaapstad, Dubai and San Francisco it must have been a startling change of pace to dine in my kitchen in Sausalito. But, it seems, neither time zones nor giggly culinary ineptitude (mine) fazed the unflappable Dutch TV chef, Rudolph van
- [Share Favorite Pop Culture Quotes and Sounds](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/share-favorite-pop-culture-quotes-and-sounds/) - Enough of Bartleby’s dusty classics or even more recent sayings? Ready for quotes from popular culture? From jokes on last night’s comedy show to current movie tunes and lines, find and share your favorite, latest quotes and tunes via Entertonement. Soon. Here in tiny Sausalito we are delighted to discover this stealth start-up that snuck
- [When a Crisis Hits, How Will Your Group Help Members?](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/when-a-crisis-hits-how-will-your-group-help-members/) - Ike Pigott wanted to help more people find out if their loved ones were safe when Hurricane Katrina hit, but he couldn’t. Soon after it struck, phone lines became jammed at his regional Red Cross office. He didn’t forget. Pigott convinced his global non-profit to create a general blog. And now, when a crisis hits,
- [Why Companies Will Do Great Work for You - For Free](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/why-companies-will-do-great-work-for-you-for-free/) - As a business owner, especially if your business is small, wouldn’t these words be sweet music to your ears? Along with submitting a bid for a large project, a respected vendor told Robert Middleton, “We are willing to do your project for free if you introduce our services to the people on your email list.”
- [Gamers Play With Global Warming, Big Time](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/gamers-play-with-global-warming-big-time/) - Increasingly many turn to Jon Stewart and Steve Colbert, rather than the evening news, to suss out the truth in politicians’ pontifications – and to be entertained. That’s not news. Yet today, a New York Times reporter wrote that another form of entertainment may affect more people’s decisions about global warming than Al Gore’s An
- [Billy Bob + Dell?  Benefits of Unlikely Allies You, Too, Can Enjoy](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/billy-bob-dell-benefits-of-unlikely-allies-you-too-can-enjoy/) - When the most straight-arrow computer maker dares to pair up with a wild card actor who’s played music since he was nine, you’re bound to see a new scene. Billy Bob Thornton and Dell computer launched a yearlong project today. Expect to see mini-documentaries of jam sessions with Thornton and his roots-rock style musicians in
- [Freakanomics, Wisdom of Crowds … and Your Big Book](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/freakanomics-wisdom-of-crowds-and-your-big-book/) - Why do we do what we do? Books with a big idea about how we live, work, spend, think or otherwise behave are, well, big right now. And you have a notion about how things happen now, in our flattening, new normal world. Right? Not got the time to write the book? Then create a
- [Fresh Way to Attract Support for a Cause or Project](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/fresh-way-to-attract-support-for-a-cause-or-project/) - Like to repair a vandalized public garden in your neighborhood? Want to reduce trans fats from Doritos? Yes, you are a caring citizen, an ardent backer of certain causes. But you are tired of wasting your time and donations on campaigns that die for lack of sufficient backing. They don’t reach the tipping point to
- [Be More Helpful.  Make More Money.](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/be-more-helpful-make-more-money/) - Paulette Ensign is a born organizer. In fact she was once the national president of the National Association of Professional Organizers. Her life changed forever back in 1991. She reviewed the tips she’d been giving others over the years and turned them into two little booklets. One’s called "110 Ideas For Organizing Your Business Life."
- [Life’s Golden Ticket to Achieving More – With Others](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/lifes-golden-ticket-to-achieving-more-with-others/) - Forty days after his fiancée disappears she is found, “badly injured on a mountain road near an abandoned amusement park where her younger brother died.” When she asks him to return a sealed envelope to someone at the park he enters a world where the rides “mystically comes to life.” Yes this is a novel
- [People Power: How Crowds Can Create Electricity](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/people-power-how-crowds-can-create-electricity/) - Take one step and you can power two 60W light bulbs for one flickering second. Not much. Yet a rush of fans at a concert or commuter walking through a commuter train station could create the energy for the signs they pass. How? Where crowds walk, build, “a responsive sub-floor” of blocks that slip against
- [How Will We Meet in the Future?](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/how-will-we-meet-in-the-future/) - Last Friday the members in my audience at EMC Venues’ MEET voted on questions I asked and saw their cumulative votes appear on the screens on either side of me soon thereafter. They loved it. I only wish audiences had more ways to share and compare all year long. That's what moms in medicine are
- [Nine Ways to Create More Success Via Partnering](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/11/nine-ways-to-create-more-success-via-partnering/) - Hear real life stories of partnerships that enabled people to polish their skills, grow their business faster or attract media coverage. This podcast introduces the power of partnering with one or more people to create extra value and visibility. In this flattening world this approach can enlarge your world, your work and perhaps even your
- [Porn Operators: Unexpectedly Slow Adopters of Social Media](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/10/porn-operators-unexpectedly-slow-adopters-of-social-media/) - The porn industry is usually an early adopter of new media technologies. Not sticking with "just" tawdry sex shops in the tenderloin. Nope. Customers can download naked images in the privacy of their home or the semi-privacy of their hotel room. That means ever higher profits margins for purveyors of pornography, thus pulling middle-class entrepreneurs
- [Create Video Vignettes That Capture Hearts & Minds](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/10/create-video-vignettes-that-capture-hearts-minds/) - From capturing scenes of Burma protests to college keggers, “user-created” video has gone viral via YouTube and other sites. No news there. Yet this may be the most sweeping cultural change we have seen in the past few years. For disgust or inspiration you can find something to see. Almost any action, anywhere, can and
- [Avoid Death by Meeting With a Crowd Wisdom Method](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/10/avoid-death-by-meeting-with-a-crowd-wisdom-method/) - We’ve all served on committees where a few diligent people did most of the work. Or gotten stuck in a boring meeting, where some just yakked and yakked. No agenda. No incentives to work smart. Time drags. You could get it done faster and better on your own. Collaboration is only as strong as the
- [Run With a Smart Crowd](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/10/run-with-a-smart-crowd/) - Ever get anxious, watching a dog gnaw at a leg wound? Erica Lyn Townsend did. That's why she invented something to help her pet Buddy. When it got raves on The American Inventor Show, she was inspired to leave her corporate job to make more for other pet lovers. And those who dote on their
- [Got a Strong Interest? Host Meetings. Make Friends...and Money?](https://sayitbetter.com/2007/03/organize-a-meeting-share-interests-make-money/) - Meet people who share your interests and you're bound to become friends with some. Want to meet other Shih Tzus owners? Find a fellow hiker, skier, cyclist, kayaker or climber? Get a pick-up basketball game wherever you are? Start a team? Eat raw food? Organize a speaker series, and charge attendees? Ask for a donation?

## Pages

- [Home](https://sayitbetter.com/) - [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”3.0.100″][et_pb_fullwidth_header title=”Become More Connected, Quotable and Collaborative” text_orientation=”right” admin_label=”kare new banner” _builder_version=”3.16″ title_font=”Roboto||||||||” title_text_align=”right” title_text_color=”#ffffff” title_font_size=”64px” title_font_size_tablet=”40px” title_font_size_last_edited=”on|desktop” title_text_shadow_style=”preset2″ background_color=”rgba(255, 255, 255, 0)” background_image=”https://sayitbetter.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/kare_header_400_tall.jpg” background_position=”center_left” custom_button_one=”on” button_one_text_size=”23px” button_one_text_color=”#8300e9″ button_one_bg_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0.3)” button_one_border_radius=”10″ button_one_use_icon=”off” background_layout=”light” custom_margin=”|||” custom_padding=”115px||70px|200px” custom_padding_tablet=”150px||70px|200px” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|tablet” text_shadow_style=”preset2″ text_shadow_horizontal_length=”-0.08em” button_one_text_size__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_text_size__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_text_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_text_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_border_width__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_border_width__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_border_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_border_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_border_radius__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_border_radius__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_letter_spacing__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_letter_spacing__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_bg_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_bg_color__hover_enabled=”off”]
- [Interviews With Kare](https://sayitbetter.com/interviews/) - Building Deep Connections by Finding Mutual Sweet Spots interview with Tara Padua Listen to Podcast Episode Highlights: • 2:00 Kare talks about her one secret to success. • 4:20 Get a useful definition of mutuality, and why it is such a powerful tool for connection. • 7:00 How to create more mutuality in your future
- [Bring Kare to Speak at Your Conference](https://sayitbetter.com/speak/) - Watch videos of Kare's keynotes and lear more about her most popular speaking topics.
- [Testimonials](https://sayitbetter.com/testimonials/) - Testimonials: What others say about Kare Anderson
- [Book](https://sayitbetter.com/book/) - Learn more about Kare's books, including Mutuality Matters: : How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others
- [Thanks for your Order!](https://sayitbetter.com/thanks-for-your-order/) - Thank you so much for buying the PDF version of Opportunity Makers! The PDF file is about 6.4MB in size, and you should see it show up in your email inbox in the next few minutes. If you feel particularly moved by this book, please go to the Kindle page and leave a positive review,
- [About Kare Anderson](https://sayitbetter.com/about-kare/) - Kare Anderson is an Emmy-winning former NBC and Wall Street Journal reporter, now connective behavior speaker and columnist for Forbes and Huffington Post.
- [Quotes](https://sayitbetter.com/quotes/) - Learn how to become more quotable - and enjoy this collection of inspiring and insightful quotes from deep thinkers, famous people and tech leaders
- [Watch vignettes of Kare Anderson speaking](https://sayitbetter.com/speak/see-several-vignettes-of-kare-anderson-speaking/) - "It's not about extroversion or introversion. It's just about the amount of energy..." "I want you to give yourself a quota each week. And that is to give a third party endorsement to someone you deeply admire..." "Hone your best talent. Know the flip side. Hone your best temperament. Know the flip side..."
- [Tips Via Video](https://sayitbetter.com/7-insights-in-7-minutes/) - Watch 1-minute videos with insights from Kare about how to grow your business and become more memorable.
- [Books on Connecting](https://sayitbetter.com/books-connecting/) - [et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ admin_label=”header photo” _builder_version=”3.0.100″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_gradient_end=”rgba(0,0,0,0.4)” background_color_gradient_direction=”3deg” background_color_gradient_start_position=”12%” background_color_gradient_end_position=”12%” background_color_gradient_overlays_image=”on” background_image=”https://sayitbetter.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/connecting-books-header.jpg” background_position=”center_right” custom_padding=”10%||16%|”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.0.100″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Books on collaboration title” background_layout=”dark” _builder_version=”3.0.100″ text_font=”|||on|||||” header_font=”Montserrat|600|||||||” header_font_size=”48px” header_font_size_phone=”28px” header_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” header_letter_spacing=”3px” header_line_height=”1.3em” header_2_font=”Montserrat|700|||||||” header_2_font_size=”90px” header_2_font_size_tablet=”62px” header_2_font_size_phone=”46px” header_2_font_size_last_edited=”on|desktop” header_2_text_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0.6)” header_2_letter_spacing=”3px” header_2_line_height=”1.1em” text_orientation=”center” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”||60px|” animation_style=”slide” animation_direction=”bottom” animation_intensity_slide=”5%”] Kare’s Favorite Books on Connecting [/et_pb_text][et_pb_button admin_label=”learn more about connecting Button”
- [Books on Collaboration](https://sayitbetter.com/books-collaboration/) - WE CAN’T KNOW WHICH INTERACTIONS WILL DEEPEN INTO RICHER RELATIONSHIPS YET WE CAN KEEP THE FAITH THAT OUR US-CENTRIC MUTUALITY MINDSET AND ACTIONS CAN ATTRACT THOSE WE MEET
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- [Media Room](https://sayitbetter.com/media-room/) - Kare As a Possible Subject Matter Expert for Your Story From the turn of a phrase to the shape of a room, some of what affects our feelings and actions is beyond our conscious awareness. Since childhood I’ve had a fascination with how and why we are instinctively repelled or drawn to certain people, situations
- [Books on Quotability](https://sayitbetter.com/books/) - Kare's Favorite Books on Quotability The Language of Trust: Selling ideas in a World of Skeptics by Michael Maslansky, Gary DeMoss, Scott West and David Saylor People don’t know who to trust or what to believe. Which means you need a new way to communicate your message.The book is filled with tactical steps and real-world examples
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- [OpportunityMakers](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/opportunitymakers/)
- [optimism](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/optimism/)
- [Ori Brafman](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/ori-brafman/)
- [Pamela slim](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/pamela-slim/)
- [Patrick Tucker](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/patrick-tucker/)
- [Paul Geffner](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/paul-geffner/)
- [pay it forward](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/pay-it-forward/)
- [PerfNights](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/perfnights/)
- [personality](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/personality/)
- [PerSpot](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/perspot/)
- [Peter Bregman](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/peter-bregman/)
- [Peter Guber](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/peter-guber/)
- [Peter Guber. Dan Diamond](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/peter-guber-dan-diamond/)
- [Peter Sims](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/peter-sims/)
- [piano stairs experiment](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/piano-stairs-experiment/)
- [Pivot Conference](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/pivot-conference/)
- [Pixsy](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/pixsy/)
- [Po Bronson](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/po-bronson/)
- [Porter Gale](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/porter-gale/)
- [power](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/power/)
- [praise](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/praise/)
- [Quantified Self](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/quantified-self/)
- [quotability](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/quotability/)
- [Quotable](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/quotable/)
- [Rajeev Motwani](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/rajeev-motwani/)
- [recognition](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/recognition/)
- [REI](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/rei/)
- [Reid Hoffman](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/reid-hoffman/)
- [relationship-building](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/relationship-building/)
- [relationships](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/relationships/)
- [resilience](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/resilience/)
- [Retail](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/retail/)
- [Richard Thaler](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/richard-thaler/)
- [Rita Carter](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/rita-carter/)
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- [Ritz Carlton](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/ritz-carlton/)
- [Robert Cialdini](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/robert-cialdini/)
- [Saddleback Church](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/saddleback-church/)
- [sales](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/sales/)
- [Salesforce](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/salesforce/)
- [Sam Horn](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/sam-horn/)
- [sampling](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/sampling/)
- [satisfaction](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/satisfaction/)
- [sayitbetter](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/sayitbetter/)
- [Scrapblog](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/scrapblog/)
- [self-awareness](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/self-awareness/)
- [self-led teams](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/self-led-teams/)
- [self-organized teams](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/self-organized-teams/)
- [selling](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/selling/)
- [Seth Godin](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/seth-godin/)
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- [Shawn Murphy](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/shawn-murphy/)
- [skill-building](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/skill-building/)
- [Small business](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/small-business/)
- [Small Business Trends](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/small-business-trends/)
- [SmartPartnering](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/smartpartnering/)
- [Social Business by Design](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/social-business-by-design/)
- [social enterprise](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/social-enterprise/)
- [specificity](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/specificity/)
- [Stephen King](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/stephen-king/)
- [Steven Johnson](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/steven-johnson/)
- [Stew Friedman](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/stew-friedman/)
- [story](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/story/)
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- [Susan Cain](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/susan-cain/)
- [Susan T. Fiske](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/susan-t-fiske/)
- [Sway](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/sway/)
- [synchronicity](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/synchronicity/)
- [teaching](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/teaching/)
- [teambuilding](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/teambuilding/)
- [teamwork](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/teamwork/)
- [TED](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/ted/)
- [TED@IBM](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/tedibm/)
- [TEDx](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/tedx/)
- [Tell to Win](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/tell-to-win/)
- [TELUS](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/telus/)
- [temperament](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/temperament/)
- [tension-breaker](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/tension-breaker/)
- [Teresa Amabile](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/teresa-amabile/)
- [Terrence Real](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/terrence-real/)
- [the big sort](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/the-big-sort/)
- [The Click Moment](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/the-click-moment/)
- [The Collaborative Organization](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/the-collaborative-organization/)
- [The Dachis Group](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/the-dachis-group/)
- [The Progress Principle](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/the-progress-principle/)
- [The Tomorrow Project](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/the-tomorrow-project/)
- [third-party endorsements](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/third-party-endorsements/)
- [Todd Essig](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/todd-essig/)
- [TOMS Shoes](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/toms-shoes/)
- [Tony Hsieh](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/tony-hsieh/)
- [trust](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/trust/)
- [Vala Afshar](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/vala-afshar/)
- [violence](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/violence/)
- [visibility](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/visibility/)
- [vulnerability](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/vulnerability/)
- [warmth](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/warmth/)
- [webby awards](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/webby-awards/)
- [Why Quitters Win](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/why-quitters-win/)
- [wisdom](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/wisdom/)
- [work](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/work/)
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- [Richard Nisbett](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/richard-nisbett/)
- [Rick Hanson](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/rick-hanson/)
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- [culture](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/culture/)
- [re-telling](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/re-telling/)
- [unexpected](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/unexpected/)
- [Dave Isay](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/dave-isay/)
- [StoryCorps](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/storycorps/)
- [surprise](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/surprise/)
- [Eric Greitins](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/eric-greitins/)
- [equanimity](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/equanimity/)
- [struggle](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/struggle/)
- [Ekaterina Walter](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/ekaterina-walter/)
- [Jessica Giolio](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/jessica-giolio/)
- [Charles H. Green](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/charles-h-green/)
- [motto](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/motto/)
- [diagram](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/diagram/)
- [positive deviance](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/positive-deviance/)
- [Jerry Sternin](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/jerry-sternin/)
- [Dan Heatg](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/dan-heatg/)
- [networked teams](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/networked-teams/)
- [team of teams.](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/team-of-teams/)
- [General Stan McChrystal](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/general-stan-mcchrystal/)
- [Opportunity Maker](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/opportunity-maker/)
- [hidden talent](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/hidden-talent/)
- [mental picture](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/mental-picture/)
- [Jenny Kruger](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/jenny-kruger/)
- [AILS Ice Bucket](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/ails-ice-bucket/)
- [campaign](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/campaign/)
- [Brian Cole Miller](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/brian-cole-miller/)
- [simplicity](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/simplicity/)
- [Sian Beilock](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/sian-beilock/)
- [Scot Belsky](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/scot-belsky/)
- [John Seeley Brown](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/john-seeley-brown/)
- [beauty salon](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/beauty-salon/)
- [restaurants](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/restaurants/)
- [National Kidney Foundation](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/national-kidney-foundation/)
- [Geoff Colvin](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/geoff-colvin/)
- [future of work](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/future-of-work/)
- [William Eggers](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/william-eggers/)
- [Dr. Kala Fleming](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/dr-kala-fleming/)
- [OBM Watson](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/obm-watson/)
- [Jimmy Carter](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/jimmy-carter/)
- [The Carter Center](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/the-carter-center/)
- [Steve Hamm](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/steve-hamm/)
- [Project Lucy](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/project-lucy/)
- [Digital Aquifer](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/digital-aquifer/)
- [Kala Fleming](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/kala-fleming/)
- [NGOs](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/ngos/)
- [Net Impact Seattle](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/net-impact-seattle/)
- [Dream Jamaica](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/dream-jamaica/)
- [Mutuality Matters More](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/mutuality-matters-more/)
- [retail signage](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/retail-signage/)
- [street art](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/street-art/)
- [photos](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/photos/)
- [achievement](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/achievement/)
- [defensiveness](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/defensiveness/)
- [The CEO Refresher](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/the-ceo-refresher/)
- [Bryant Urstadt](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/bryant-urstadt/)
- [Switch & Shift](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/switch-shift/)
- [revealing](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/revealing/)
- [words](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/words/)
- [high status](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/high-status/)
- [pronouns](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/pronouns/)
- [confident](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/confident/)
- [happy](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/happy/)
- [self-aware](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/self-aware/)
- [Mario Quomo](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/mario-quomo/)
- [loyalty card](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/loyalty-card/)
- [customer loyalty](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/customer-loyalty/)
- [mindfulness](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/mindfulness/)
- [understanding](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/understanding/)
- [Brandon Sanderson](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/brandon-sanderson/)
- [name-calling](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/name-calling/)
- [mind wise](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/mind-wise/)
- [local government](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/local-government/)
- [Eric Reese](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/eric-reese/)
- [Govx](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/govx/)
- [Charlie Francis](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/charlie-francis/)
- [OpenGov](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/opengov/)
- [Sascha Haselmayer](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/sascha-haselmayer/)
- [Citymart](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/citymart/)
- [Matt Horn](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/matt-horn/)
- [Chapel Hill](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/chapel-hill/)
- [intrinsic rewards](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/intrinsic-rewards/)
- [values](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/values/)
- [extrinsic rewards](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/extrinsic-rewards/)
- [observation](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/observation/)
- [social experiments](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/social-experiments/)
- [public behavior](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/public-behavior/)
- [customer engagement](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/customer-engagement/)
- [self-defense](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/self-defense/)
- [Ed Keller](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/ed-keller/)
- [Brad Fay](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/brad-fay/)
- [Kio Stark](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/kio-stark/)
- [mutually supportive](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/mutually-supportive/)
- [connective](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/connective/)
- [flexible](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/flexible/)
- [Patricia Linville](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/patricia-linville/)
- [Tom Peters](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/tom-peters/)
- [Steve Nguyen](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/steve-nguyen/)
- [Emrah Duzel](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/emrah-duzel/)
- [decisionmaking traps](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/decisionmaking-traps/)
- [Carlos Santana](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/carlos-santana/)
- [Helen Palmer](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/helen-palmer/)
- [Maty Seligman](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/maty-seligman/)
- [behavior change](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/behavior-change/)
- [redemptive](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/redemptive/)
- [John Kasich](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/john-kasich/)
- [Kind Foundation](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/kind-foundation/)
- [slogan](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/slogan/)
- [Morgan Stanley Global Healthcare](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/morgan-stanley-global-healthcare/)
- [value](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/value/)
- [credibility](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/credibility/)
- [well-known](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/well-known/)
- [frequently quoted](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/frequently-quoted/)
- [memorable](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/memorable/)
- [John le Carre](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/john-le-carre/)
- [smart partnerships](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/smart-partnerships/)
- [Originals](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/originals/)
- [innovation](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/innovation/)
- [Warby Parker](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/warby-parker/)
- [Justin Berg](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/justin-berg/)
- [Reb Rebele](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/reb-rebele/)
- [Rob Minkoff](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/rob-minkoff/)
- [Richard E. Nistet](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/richard-e-nistet/)
- [Saleforce](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/saleforce/)
- [Macslist](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/macslist/)
- [Charlie Duhigg](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/charlie-duhigg/)
- [impact](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/impact/)
- [fulfillment](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/fulfillment/)
- [David Sobel](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/david-sobel/)
- [Robert Ornstein](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/robert-ornstein/)
- [Dani Alves](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/dani-alves/)
- [uplift others](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/uplift-others/)
- [Brazil](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/brazil/)
- [Barcelona](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/barcelona/)
- [heroic behavior](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/heroic-behavior/)
- [contagious behavior](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/contagious-behavior/)
- [crowd influence](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/crowd-influence/)
- [sports](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/sports/)
- [Robert A. Burton MD](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/robert-a-burton-md/)
- [Michael Krans](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/michael-krans/)
- [bended knee](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/bended-knee/)
- [allies](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/allies/)
- [Save the Children](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/save-the-children/)
- [Monique Sternin](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/monique-sternin/)
- [Richard Pascale](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/richard-pascale/)
- [My bodyguard](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/my-bodyguard/)
- [Kenneth Savitsky](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/kenneth-savitsky/)
- [on-site experience](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/on-site-experience/)
- [multi-sensory moments](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/multi-sensory-moments/)
- [Morten T. Hansen](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/morten-t-hansen/)
- [Shareable Cities](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/shareable-cities/)
- [NetBridge](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/netbridge/)
- [Ben Wager](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/ben-wager/)
- [Nikolas Kichler](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/nikolas-kichler/)
- [civil conversations](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/civil-conversations/)
- [Thomas Huxley](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/thomas-huxley/)
- [triangle talk](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/triangle-talk/)
- [Don Lindsay](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/don-lindsay/)
- [closeness](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/closeness/)
- [Daniel H. Pink](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/daniel-h-pink/)
- [likability](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/likability/)
- [two-faced](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/two-faced/)
- [private part of your personality](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/private-part-of-your-personality/)
- [public-facing aspect of your face](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/public-facing-aspect-of-your-face/)
- [become more quotable](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/become-more-quotable/)
- [learn how to say it better](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/learn-how-to-say-it-better/)
- [quotability equals influence](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/quotability-equals-influence/)
- [hot buttons](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/hot-buttons/)
- [third party endorsement](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/third-party-endorsement/)
- [sell](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/sell/)
- [adventure](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/adventure/)
- [insights](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/insights/)
- [stand out](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/stand-out/)
- [innovative](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/innovative/)
- [Dan and Chip Heath](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/dan-and-chip-heath/)
- [Amanda Ripley](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/amanda-ripley/)
- [Solutions Journalism](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/solutions-journalism/)
- [Tim Ferriss Michael Lee Stallard](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/tim-ferriss-michael-lee-stallard/)
- [bias](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/bias/)
- [smarter thinking](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/smarter-thinking/)
- [trouble-shooting Chip Heath](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/trouble-shooting-chip-heath/)
- [gatherings](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/gatherings/)
- [uplifting](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/uplifting/)
- [teams](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/teams/)
- [Frans Johnhansson](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/frans-johnhansson/)
- [psychopaths](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/psychopaths/)
- [grounded](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/grounded/)
- [honor others](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/honor-others/)
- [conference planning](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/conference-planning/)
- [adventure diversity](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/adventure-diversity/)
- [conversations](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/conversations/)
- [buying](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/buying/)
- [nobility](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/nobility/)
- [media coverage](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/media-coverage/)
- [groundedness](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/groundedness/)
- [geniality](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/geniality/)
- [interdependence](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/interdependence/)
- [James Boswell](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/james-boswell/)
- [Theodore Isaac Rubin](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/theodore-isaac-rubin/)
- [Kahilil Gibran](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/kahilil-gibran/)
- [Albert Schweitzer](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/albert-schweitzer/)
- [Henri Nouwen](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/henri-nouwen/)
- [Alasi Perdanan](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/alasi-perdanan/)
- [Humphrey Rubin](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/humphrey-rubin/)
- [Herbert Prochow](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/herbert-prochow/)
- [Dinah Mulock Craik](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/dinah-mulock-craik/)
- [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/ralph-waldo-emerson/)
- [Dinah Mulock](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/dinah-mulock/)
- [Craik](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/craik/)
- [character trait](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/character-trait/)
- [cross-promotion](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/cross-promotion/)
- [partnerships](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/partnerships/)
- [colleagues](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/colleagues/)
- [Advocates](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/advocates/)
- [Customer Service](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/customer-service/)
- [sought-after](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/sought-after/)
- [admired](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/admired/)
- [visibility sought-after](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/visibility-sought-after/)
- [visibility influence](https://sayitbetter.com/tag/visibility-influence/)